I don't want to ever be stuck in a situation where I feel helpless like I did with Brandon.
Jerome and Christopher come over as promised later in the evening for dinner, and we binge on our favorite show and rice crispy treats, chocolate chip cookies, M&Ms, and wine. Enjoying each other’s company. And let me tell you, I've missed them like hell, and it'smuchneeded. They annoy me to no end asking about Alexander, and I can't help but catch the disappointed look on their faces when I explain to them that he's just a colleague.
No matter these feelings inside of me, it's true. He is just a colleague that happened to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time.
The reminder sobers me.
What do I look like trying to rush right into dating or anything else after what I went through? But…I'm lonely. And I miss how easy it was with Alexander when I was at his house for those few days. Yet, things continue to feel much easier when Brandon isn’t present, and I chalk up the feeling to me finally being free from the clutches of an abuser.
I reaffirm myself to stay committed to my healing journey. Yet I long for the day where I won't be lonely anymore.
Early the next morning, I yawn and stretch, waiting in the lobby for Alexander to show up in the ride he'd ordered for us.
I glance at my luggage, feeling another blast of relief because I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of him with a ratty suitcase. It's a nice set. A gift from my parents a couple years ago when I'd started making enough money to travel frequently back and forth.
Anxious, I smooth a hand down my sleek ponytail, pulling the long strands over my shoulder to the front. I'd had to get up at one-thirty in the morning in order to make sure I was ready enough to leave at three, when Alex said he would be pulling up. A little self-conscious about my appearance, I turn my head to glance in the mirror of the lobby. My cheeks are still flushed because I’d used my vibrator right before I came down, trying to get a last minute orgasm in before the trip.
I straighten my simple white tank top and gray low-slung sweatpants, and look down at my toenails. They're a fun dark blue, and would normally cause me a lot of joy; however, right now I feel guilty for letting Alexander pay for them. Even though he insisted it would be a housewarming gift, that guilt still eats at me because I'm not used to a man doing things like this. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since then...I just wasn’t prepared to find he'd given me ayear'ssupply. I was in total shock standing at the register in the nail salon yesterday.
The manicurist patted my back while I broke down in tears.
Lost in my thoughts, I startle when my phone pings loudly.
Alex [2:53a]: Are you downstairs? We’re pulling up, around the corner at the light.
Sarah Bella [2:53a]: Yes, been down in the lobby waiting for five minutes.
Alex [2:54a]: Did you double check you had your passport, your ID, and backup credit card? Not that you’ll need any money… but I know you’ll feel better with it.
I smirk, sending him a picture of my travel wallet that houses all my necessary documents with my thumb in the way, showing slightly longer nude-colored nails.
Alex [2:55a]: Good girl, so prepared. I like it.
Alex [2:55a]: Your nails are nice. What shape is that?
Alex [2:56a]: We’re here, come outside.
Putting my fingers to my lips, I feel my face turn red and shake my head. I'm giddy at seeing him call me a “good girl,” never imagining myself having a praise kink.
When the car pulls to the front, I stand and roll my luggage out into the humid night air and am hit with such a wave of shyness that I don't quite know what to do with myself. The car hasn't even pulled to a complete stop yet before Alexander opens the door and jumps out. He strides to me with a wicked grin, and I can't help the soft smile on my face when he leans in to take my bags. The trunk pops open with a click, and I watch while he quickly places them next to his.
He turns his head to look over at me, that grin of his deepening. Despite the smile, his effortlessly smoldering stare is so intense I take an involuntary step back. He acts unfazed though.
"Hey you,"he murmurs. His voice, a bit deeper and huskier than normal, has me floundering, as does the smile he treats me to. To my shock, it makes me weak and my panties wet. I'd brought several extra pairs, just in case.
"Hey."Dammit, why do I have to sound sobreathless?
As he turns his back to me, reshuffling our luggage, my eyes lower slowly, taking a second to admire his outfit. He’d also chosen gray sweatpants and a dark gray t-shirt, ironically. A rush of pleasure flows through me at how good he looks and how good it's going to feel to match with him. Though it wasn't planned, something akin to confidence blossoms inside me at the prospect of doing something so mundane with Alex that I'd never really done with Brandon.
“Squoval, by the way,” I say with a grin.
I cover a yawn and lift a hand, trying to rub my eye in a way that won’t mess up my mascara. Alexander closes the trunk with a bang and turns back around, looking me up and down. "Goodmorning," he says in a playful tone, bending down to give me a hug.
A full body shiver wracks my body when he runs a hand down my ponytail in a gentle caress.
As his arms pull me in, I melt slightly as his clean masculine scent also envelopes me, and I can't help but let out a small moan at the smell of him. My nipples tighten, and my pussy clenches at just the feel of him so close. The warmth of his body seeps into mine through the thin fabric of his gray t-shirt, making it all worse.
Unbeknownst to my suffering, he pulls away and chucks me under the chin, giving me a little squeeze. “So, what’s squoval?” He turns, opening the rear car door for me.
