“How do you mean?”
“I’ve seen him try to approach you at least a dozen times in the last two days.”
“That’s the problem.” I sink onto the bed beside her. “He’s being…perfect. Respectful. Giving me space.”
Emily frowns. “Why is that bad? With what you’ve been saying, it sounds like that’s exactly what you want.”
“Because I don’t know what to do with it,” I say honestly. “There’s no changing what happened. But I also can’t move on with him and pretend the past doesn’t exist.”
“So you’re avoiding him because you’re scared of what happens if you don’t? If you let him in?”
I let out a short, controlled breath. “I’m avoiding him because I know exactly what happens if I let him too close. I’ll lose myself and get hurt in the process once he’s done with me.”
“How do you know that will happen?”
“Because it has before.”
“But you were teenagers, right? I highly doubt he’s the same person now as he was then.”
“That doesn’t change the memories I have of hurting and crying myself to sleep.”
Emily drops her shoulders, sitting up from the bed. “You’re right, it doesn’t. But if I were you, I’d be curious to know why he left.”
“The point is moot.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. An explanation would at least give you closure. Has he offered one?”
“Kind of? He’s waiting for when it’s just us, whenever that is, to give me an explanation.”
“Just you guys? That’s something you don’t hear every day around here.”
“How so? I think that just sounds like an excuse to delaying the obvious ghosting excuse.”
“If he’d just ghosted, he would have been nonchalant about coming here. No. Whatever he has to say to you, it has to be very important. Maybe even life-altering.”
I shake my head. “Maybe so, but the thing is I don’t know if I’m ready to hear any explanation from him. Quite frankly, I don’t know if I even want to.”
“Don’t shoot me, but from what I’ve seen since we got here, I think there’s still a connection between you and him.”
“A connection?” I can hardly believe her words. “The only connection there still is between us is his guilt.”
“If he only felt guilt, he would’ve just said his peace to you over the phone, not follow you onto a dating show. He’s here for a reason. And it’s much bigger than some apology or an excuse for the past. More than I think you’re willing to admit.”
“He walked out once. One day he was there, and the next he was gone. No warning. No explanation. I barely survived. I don’t know if I can risk going through that kind of heartbreak twice.”
Emily takes my hand, looking over at me. “I get you, but you’re bracing for something he hasn’t done yet.”
Before I can respond, a production assistant’s voice carries through the villa.
“Attention, contestants! Pool deck in one hour for today’s challenge and afterwards a special announcement!”
Emily and I exchange looks.
“That doesn’t sound ominous at all,” I mutter with sarcasm.
“From what I know about other shows, announcements mean one of two things,” Emily exclaims. “A rule change that ups the stakes…or new people.”
Fresh drama or fresh blood. I can’t tell which one is worse.
