“But Daddy said they weren’t happy, and now they are…” His voice went muffled, probably the result of him turning to address Josie.
“Noah?” I waited for him to refocus on the call.
“Yeah?”
“I want to explain why that’s not going to happen,” I said gently. It was a dicey strategy since he didn’t need to know the facts of our breakup. Still, I wanted to help him form realistic expectations. “What your father is doing with the daycare center is absolutely wonderful.Somany people are going to be happy about it. But that new building doesn’t change what went wrong between your father and me.”
I tried to formulate the explanation so it would make sense to him but not throw his dad under the bus. No matter how hurt I was by how things had ended between Logan and me, I didn’t want to do anything to damage the father-son relationship.
“What do you mean?” Noah’s voice trembled.
I heard a commotion through the line, but I kept talking.
“Noey, as happy as I am about the daycare center, I’m still very sad about how things went with your dad.”
I waited for Noah to respond, but he remained quiet.
“He hurt my feelings. A lot. And what are we supposed to do when we hurt someone’s feelings?”
It was a lesson we’d gone through a few times as his friend group expanded.
“We say sorry,” Noah replied in a quiet voice.
“Exactly,” I replied. “But your dad never told me that he was sorry, and that made the hurt in my heart even worse.”
“He didn’t saysorry?” Noah exclaimed. “That’s not nice!”
“Nope,” I said, sniffing back a few tears. I had to maintain an even keel because I could tell Noah was starting to feel unbalanced by the conversation. I hated drawing him into the mess, but he had to know that the chances of me moving back in were basically zero.
“But what if he says sorry rightnow?—”
I cut him off. “Noey, it’s more than just saying the words. It’s alsomeaningthem. Feeling them. And it’s important to make sure that the person who did the wrong thing understands why the other person feels sad. Because if you apologize and you don’t understand why, then there’s a chance you might hurt them again. The person apologizing has to feel it in their heart, you know? And the person getting the apology has to believe that it’s real.”
My breathing went shallow as I squinted out the window at the horizon. I was walking a tightrope trying to help Noah understand the breakup.
“I’m sad now,” Noah said, his voice muffled.
“I know. I am too,” I agreed. I leaned my forehead against the glass.
I heard a clunk, and I assumed that Noah had knocked the phone off the table. Then I heard a deep, way-too-familiar baritone.
“Nina…” Logan began.
A wave of goosebumps swept over my body. “Logan?”
I went through shock, mortification, then anger within seconds.
“Have you been listening the whole time?” I demanded. “Because that’s inappropriate! Josie and I have an arrangement. I can promise you that every conversation has been monitored so there’s no reason for you to?—”
“I’m still here,” Josie’s voice rang out in the background. “He just came in the room.”
“And I only heard the last part. About apologizing, and meaning it,” Logan said.
I heard a scuffle, then Noah’s little pout in the background. “Daddy, it’smytime to talk to Nina!”
“I know, bud, I just need a few minutes,” he said in a muffled voice.
I saw a pair of parents approaching the Kids’ Club and gave them a tight smile. I waved and pointed vaguely, then walked down the hall to a private alcove.
