Seeing her this way does something to me, filling my chest with uncomfortable pressure. It is one thing to fight with Julia, it is something else entirely when that fight makes her sad.
Until now, I have never seen such hurt encompassing her eyes, or the quiet, unnerving melancholy in the way her glazed, unfocused gaze stares through my chest like she is stressed by the decisions ahead.
I do not like it. I do not know how to handle it. I do not know if I can save her from them without putting her in further danger.
“Let us go back to the others,” I say, lowering my voice. “If that is what you want to do.”
She closes her eyes and shakes her head. When her eyes reopen the majority of the sadness is gone from them. She opens her mouth as if to speak but the words never leave her. Instead, as she peers up at me, her lips flatten and her steely countenance returns with a single nod.
And in the quiet first minutes of dawn, I watch as she redresses, dons her mask, ties back her hair, and checks her weapons. When she is done and re-faces me, I point in the direction the others are in.
We stare at each other for a long moment, neither one of us willing to speak, fearing it.
Then she turns and walks away.
NINETEEN
THE FOREST BORDER
Julia
Much like the previous times,I walk at the back of the others to make sure no one falls behind. But unlike before, each step forward hurts more than the last. Luckily, crossing the river first thing ended up being a blessing in disguise. The hardest part was getting everyone into the water to begin with. None of them had ever been in so much water before, let alone something that could be bottomless. Only Olivia was free from facing it, carried across by Krellix so her freshest bandages wouldn’t get soaked.
For me, I was just too relieved to have last night’s events washed off my body to suffer fear that I couldn’t see past my feet to the bottom. And even crossing with the majority of my clothes on, the cold water was enough to feel human again. It was like wiping a slate clean. Krellix’s seed had been all over my body, dried and flaking by the time I woke. Between that and the dirt and petals in my hair, I was eager for a good wash. I tried to straighten up but I’m certain Quinton suspects something happened between us.
Still, I couldn’t get away from Krellix’s scent fast enough. It already seemed to be emanating from my own body, coaxing me subconsciously to stop him so I could have sex with him once more. If I’m feeling the effects of his pheromones, I can only wonder what he must be experiencing.
I’ve never been the one to need lots of sex to feel satisfied. I’ve had good—strange—but good sex with Krellix yet I’m not feeling satisfied at all.
I need to stop breathing him in.
That was several hours ago, and with my clothes now drying slowly across my body, chafing me from every side, I’m back to staring at Krellix’s back and winding tail, more confused than ever, going over the same thought again and again in my head.
Wehadsex.
Maybe it wasn’t sex like I’m used to but it was sex all the same, with his unusual cock thrusting inside of me. I let that happen, even walked right into it. Whether I took the risk to distract myself or not, I’m not entirely sure anymore, but I do know that I made the choice willingly. I breathed him in willingly. I stayed close to him willingly, knowing how he’d affect me.
Clenching inwardly, I eye Krellix’s tail patterning and the muscles flexing beneath it. I ache like a son-of-a-bitch. I ache for sex as much as I ached from the raw stretch of his cock.
The way his muscles move as he carries Olivia… I’ve never been so jealous of another female.
Olivia. She’s still bleeding. She’s growing weaker by the hour and can barely stomach food. The fact that we’ll be at the encampment today is barely a reassurance. I pray we’re not too late after waiting a night. But as much as I yearn for Olivia to get to a doctor, I’m not eager to arrive. A part of me is struggling to take each step further.
Nearly face-palming, I tear my gaze away from Krellix and the way the sunlight descends from the canopy to play across his coloring, and look at Benjamin and Quinton. Both males trot along in silence ahead of me. Remembering how the two of them tore into the pig meat this morning, I note there’s more confidence in their steps. They’re getting used to the forest and the terrain. They’re less afraid today.
Seeing them doing better, even if it’s by a marginal amount, makes me feel better.
Krellix’s right…
I can help the people here without re-enlisting. But if I just turn up at an army encampment, wearing some of my old fatigues, they’ll want to know my name and look into me. They’ll find me—probably listed as dead in their systems. They’ll change my status back to alive and reinstate me on the spot. I might not have a choice.
We make good time after the river, quickly putting distance between us and the water. The forest, at first, is quiet, undisturbed, still waking up for the day. Wet clothes and a chilly breeze keeps everyone distracted and uncomfortable. There’s less smoke in the air, less noise. Today is the third day since the explosion. Occasionally ships can be heard in the distance still, gunfire too, which is sometimes accompanied by shouting but it’s more intermittent and less random than the previous days.
Things begin to change the deeper into the forest we go. The trees thicken, seemingly going on for eternity in every direction. The plants and bushes press closer, making passage slow and sometimes difficult. Everyone’s covered in scratches within the first hour. Sometimes the foliage gets so thick it’s like fighting just trying to take a step.
As the brush folds under my boots, making the ground uneven, I slow down to take more deliberate steps.
Our trek slows further when smoke thickens the air, bringing with it the snapping and crackling of burning wood in the distance. Krellix remains in the lead, but he switches directions and takes us towards a crashed ship much like Benjamin’s, Quinton’s, and Olivia’s, but this time with its hatch door wide open and ajar.
