Leo watched her, his dark eyes searching hers for the truth of her words. She must have faked it well, because he gave a single nod.
“Do one thing, then. Not for me, but for yourself.” Leo smoothed his thumb over her brow. “Don’t quit. Try again next year. Run some karting races, get back on the dirt track. Don’t slink away like you did something wrong.”
She pulled away from him. “I’m not slinking away, Leo. I got fired!”
Leo shoved a frustrated hand in his hair. “I meant don’t quit onyou. You get to choose your life, Mack. Not Janet or some pissant online or your dad or Kelley Caruthers. Don’t let other people make your choices.If you want to race, race. Find any ride you can and drive the wheels off it. Don’t give up racing.”
Mack blinked in fury. What did he know about quitting? Leo didn’t have a child’s school schedule or a father’s medical bills to consider. He didn’t get calledtrack bunnyorwhore. Leo didn’t know shit about quitting because he’d never had to find out.
“You knownothingabout my life, Leo.”
Leo’s mouth tightened but he held her gaze. They stood there, too long, but Mack couldn’t walk away. She wanted him to yell at her, to tell her where to shove it, to say horrible things so that she could walk away and forget about him.
But he was Leo Raisman, ever steady and kind, so of course he did not. Carefully, he closed the gap between them and Mack stared at his dimple.
“I see you out there on the track, keeping pace with drivers who’ve been doing this for years.” There was an intensity in Leo’s warm gaze that made it impossible to look away. He leaned in an inch. “You feel it, don’t you? When you’re out on the track, you feel it. That’s where you’re meant to be. Walk away from me, Mack. I’ll figure out how to live with that. But don’t walk away from yourself.”
Mack let herself study his face one last time, let herself pull in one last breath of fresh laundry and grease. Then she turned and walked away without saying goodbye.
She’d never see him again anyway.
From:[email protected]
Subject:[No subject] [May 16, 4:13 p.m.]
I think it’s the right time for Shaw to come to Spain. Seeing you crash like that was not good for her. She needs someone focused on her needs. I’m dating someone new and she would be cool with Shaw. I’ll have my lawyer send over paperwork to make it official.
Chapter 30
8 days until the Indianapolis 500
“With a speed of 232.111, Leo Raisman is locked into the Fast Twelve! Tomorrow, he’ll compete for the pole position along with eleven other drivers, including ...”
Mack tuned out the rest of the announcement over the PA and leaned against the side of the RV, trying to stanch her tears before going inside. She was happy for Leo. He deserved nothing less than the success he was having this year. She wanted the best for him. But she couldn’t stop wanting success for herself, too. Tomorrow, he would compete for the pole position while Mack would be back in Haubstadt sorting through whatever paperwork mess Wes had left for her.
She took several deep breaths, not wanting Wes and Shaw to see the depth of her heartbreak. She was in no mood for people, but the RV was her ride home.
Home.If only she could muster up some excitement over that word.
Mack pulled her phone out of her bra, hoping her sister had at least texted. No messages from Laurie, but one terrifying email from Kelley. She scanned it quickly, then read it again and again, the words calling back her depleted adrenaline.
She’d been terrified ever since that day DCS had showed up at her home that this moment would come.
She was going to lose Shaw.
She dropped her phone and put her head between her legs as her endocrine system pushed sweat through every pore in her body. She could smell her own fear. A strange, loud wail came out of her body and she shoved her fist in her mouth to stop it.
She couldn’t do this right now. Kelley and his email could wait until she was home, where she could think and breathe and figure her shit out. Indianapolis had been a worthless interlude, and now she needed to go home and face her life, her real life, head-on. Still in her sweaty coveralls and driving boots, standing in the itchy grass outside her father’s RV, she couldn’t think.
She yanked open the door and stomped up the steps. “Let’s go. Now.”
Wes and Shaw sat at the dining table playing War. Mack swore it was the same banged-up deck of cards she and Laurie played with as kids, with the two mismatched cards they’d stolen from a mechanic in Illinois. Her breath stuttered at the sight of her daughter.
“Mama!” Shaw flung herself into Mack’s arms before she’d finished stepping up into the vehicle, and Mack pulled her in tightly, even when the contact jarred her hurt hand. How could she keep her daughter safe if she was an ocean away? Shaw pointed to her hand of cards. “I’m winning,” she announced proudly.
“Of course you are,” Mack said, refusing to let go of Shaw’s light and warmth. How could she live without this?
