He shakes his head; the dough-knot lays forgotten on his lap.
‘And you call yourself Mr Columbia-Yale? Pish!Draculais fascinating! You really must read it – it’s all about this vampire, Dracula, an immortal from Transylvania who drinks mortal blood to live. He—’
Big Wang interrupts me. ‘Surely you haven’t read any of the banned books on vampires, Little Jing?’ His expression is genial, but I know better. ‘It was one of Niang Niang’s conditions for the truce between the Ministry of Hell and the Hulijing Court. The truce I was forced into after youset fireto one of Niang Niang’s handmaids.’
I channel every single lesson Horsey has ever given me on propriety: to signal my virtue, I fold my hands at my waist like the ladies of yore; I give him my gravest expression, full of duty and obedience – I’ve practiced in the mirror enough, even that long-dead stick in the mud Confucius would approve; finally I make my voice silky soft so it oozes meek deference and recite my favourite poem about the futility of resistance. ‘Though I slice the water with my sword, it still flows. Though I raise a cup to drown my sorrows, they only grow.’
Big Wang coughs into his fist. I’m pretty sure there was a laugh in there, because he knows the resistance I mean is not mine, but his in accepting me for who I am. I allow myself a smug smile. Mr Lee is still staring at me. I give him a quizzical look, but he doesn’t react.
‘Vampires do not exist in the realms of Tian,’ Big Wang explains to Mr Lee. ‘They are a foreign creation. Transylvania, I believe? Lady Jing is unique in all the Middle Kingdom, both yin and yang realms. She prefers mortal blood, though, like all spirits of Tian, yang energy can also sustain her.’
‘Half-hulijing. I see.’ Mr Lee looks a little green.
Stupid. I should have expected this. Mortals, especially mortal men, know the tales of hulijing. Beautiful women with pale, plump ta-tas practically spilling from their robes. They seduce unsuspecting men and then suck them dry of yang life force. I lack the ta-tas and the inclination to get romantic with idiot men. Breaking their necks is much more straightforward. And besides, I do have self-control, much as Horsey would deny it.
‘Those xiao long bao with the “herbs” you didn’t want me to eat, they weren’t really filled with pig’s blood were they?’
I hesitate, about to sayof course they were, but even though a part of me doesn’t want to, I shake my head. Mr Lee shifts further in his chair, as if trying to put more distance between us. A flicker of annoyance runs through me. I saved his yang butt three times already from hungry spirits. Four if I include the second lot of jiangshi. And he hasn’t even been here twenty-four hours.Ingrate.
Big Wang turns to me. ‘There are two more days of Council; I need to convince a few more key ministers to back my banking project. It is better if you are not here to cause trouble, or attract it, so I’m sending you to mortal Shanghai. Your temper is your downfall, Little Jing. The Hulijing Court will use that to their advantage. I cannot afford another Flaming Bitch incident. Besides, the dragons would pull out my insides and make a lantern of my skin if I ever allowed the dragon pearl to be bartered for political gain.’
‘You want to send me to mortal Shanghai?’ It’s the first time I’ve ever been allowed out of Hell. I’ll be able to see a sunset and a sunrise. And even stars in a mortal night sky. I swallow my excitement, tug my mahjong face tight. ‘Will Bullhead and Horsey come too?’
‘Lord Nioh and Lord Ma,’ Big Wang says, his words slow and deliberate.
‘That’s right. Them,’ I say brightly, ignoring his warning. I pick up a clump of dried cuttlefish and shred it into long strips. I know Big Wang’s gaze is on me; a cool, heavy burden. I also know he’ll let it go insan, er, yi—
‘No, they will not,’ he says, right on cue. ‘I need them to keep an eye on Lady Soo and her handmaids. Mr Lee will accompany you.’
‘What—?’ Mr Lee and I say in unison.
Big Wang continues calmly. ‘Mr Lee will chaperone you in the mortal world. You do not know the streets of mortal Shanghai. It is different there. In the mortal realm, war rages outside Shanghai, and inside a power struggle between foreign nations. Mr Lee will guide you and ensure you are fed with food and blood’ – Mr Lee makes a garbled noise – ‘during your stay in mortal Shanghai.’
‘No!’ I say. ‘I don’t need a chaperone. And definitely not him.’
Mr Lee’s complexion has gone waxy. ‘Blood? Wh-wh-who’s blood?’ He pushes on the arms of his chair as if he could meld into the wood, his eyes wide, darting between Big Wang and me.
‘Are you serious?’ I say to the coward. I wish I still had Mafan to add some extra to my glare. ‘I just spent the entire morning with you, watching your back.Nowyou’re afraid that I’ll drain you dry? I could’ve done that a thousand times over by now. Starting on the dock when you arrived in Hell without a proper Lei talisman to protect you!’
I chomp on my cuttlefish, stewing with indignation. I can’t even look at him, I’m so insulted. And if I’m honest, hurt. We sit in silence. Big Wang finishes three dough-knots before Mr Lee clears his throat.
‘Ten thousand apologies, Lady Jing. I should never have impugned your honour. You have saved me twice—’
‘FOUR times.’
Mr Lee frowns, counting on his fingers. ‘The two jiangshi, and the lady ghost, that’s only two.’
‘And the other jiangshi and Lady Gi?’
Mr Lee looks suitably chastised. He bows. ‘Ten thousand apologies. I had forgotten those incidents. Though you did try to abandon me when the guards showed up.’
I scoff. ‘You had the safest yaojing in Hell at your side.’
‘You should have told me what you are,’ he counters.
‘You never asked. It’s not like being a mongrel is something one announces at first acquaintance.’
‘Little Jing, do not use that term.’ Big Wang uses his serious voice on me.
