‘Horse shit.’ Glesni gripped my hand tightly. ‘We need this Vyrium. Leave your wife with me. I’ll make sure she’s fine. Won’t I, Sorrow?’
I nodded, fighting back the tears as the simple action jolted through my mind. He pressed a soft kiss to my lips, and I wanted nothing more than to press against him, taste him, know him. But this wasn’t the time – there may never be time. So I sat back, crossed my hands over my lap and gave him what I hoped was a sincere smile.
He didn’t look convinced, but after a long sigh, nodded and returned to his horse.
We set off again, everyone checking on me every few steps. Once they were all finally as content as possible, Glesni leaned in, her body taut.
‘You’re dying, girl.’ I closed my eyes, knowing she was right. ‘I made an oath to Evella I’d never lose another Anomaly. I’m giving you till we reach the cliffs to come clean to your husband. To balance these damned gifts.’
‘I can’t do that,’ I whispered. The thought of facing up to the other gift, the risk to others, the blood…
‘You will, girl,’ she said, her withered face stern. ‘Because if you don’t, I will.’
CHAPTER 30
Diafols are corrupted by Vyrium. Nothing of the creature it once was exists within the new beast – a creature intent on destruction and carnage. There are some early records of attempts to domesticate them, as the warlords of old recognised the potential of their raw, untamed viciousness. Every single attempt failed.
— LORD SILAS VANCOURE, SELECT INSTRUCTIONS FOR DIAFOL HUNTERS
The weak glow of dawn illuminated the clearing where we’d camped. I sat up, swiping my hand down my face, checking no more blood had leaked from my eyes. Dragged my dry tongue over cracked lips. Matthias slept close by. He’d been awake half the night, supposedly on the lookout for diafols, but always with one, worried eye on me. He slept as he always had, one hand tucked under his cheek. His chest rising in soothing waves. For a few fleeting heartbeats, I allowed myself to wallow in a daydream, where I’d wake up each and every morning next to him. I ached at the image of being nestled in his strong arms. I’dplace kisses on his stubbled jaw, and he’d smile, tug me closer, his fingers tracing flares in each and every place they caressed me. I’d arch into him, explore the soft down lying across his abdomen, thrills exploding within at his gasps. I bit my bottom lip at images of how I’d finally kiss every inch of his toned chest. Our breaths hitching as flames roared through us. His mouth finding mine…
A tiny pop from the dying fire dragged my attention away from my husband’s warm body. Why was I torturing myself with thoughts of what could never be? I knew that the blight would gain traction in my body. That those dangerous, ire-filled thoughts would course through my mind, before my eyes bled. I shivered as I recalled each corrupted thought. Perhaps I should leave, once I knew for certain we’d found the Vyrium. Leave before I did something vile to these souls who were coming to mean more to me than air.
I stared at the blurry shapes around the camp. Asher leaned against a tree – it must have been his watch. I smiled, recalling his farewell with Skye, the way she’d spared him more than a few glances. He was a brave, fearless soul. I hoped he’d find the strength to put Skye before his father’s wishes. I imagined the group we could be, the four of us together…but then, with the speed with which this blight was progressing, it was a future I’d never survive to see.
Glesni snored loudly from her wagon, while Ifan strode past Asher without even sparing him a tiny look. I tilted my head. Had the youngest Elmswood shared even a single word with any of the travelling party? I shook my head. After hisinterruptionthe other night, he could fling himself among the flames of Vyrus for all I cared. Asher slumped down the tree, tipping his head back.
What would happen if the blight took me? Would Asher end my life before I tore myself apart? It was a kindness, but not one I imagined Matthias allowing.
I swallowed a rising sob as I gazed across at him again. This man, this king who’d saved me from one fate, unaware Vyrus wasn’t prepared to let me go easily. After years of solitude, he’d given me all the things I never knew I needed. A family, home, the purpose I’d searched for. Would he stand there while I ripped him apart? A tear tracked slowly down my cheek and I swiped it away with the back of my hand, exhaling a long breath to find it clear of blood.
Pablo kicked next to me, his paws twitching as though he were diving across fields in his dreams, and I closed my eyes. All of these here – friends and beast – they’d wormed their way through my defences and into my shattered heart.
But my time was running out.
I blew out a long breath before rolling my shoulders. As soon as we’d found the Vyrium, as soon as I knew I’d played my part, I’d disappear. I was a simmering volcano, ready to erupt and desecrate everything I touched. The other gift, the one I couldn’t speak out loud, was beyond taming. How could I master the dead? I’d torn through book after book, finding only one faded fragment detailing any information about a necromancer Anomaly. He’d taken his own life a year into training.
Swallowing down the pain, I buried it away, the same way I’d smothered all my hurt and sorrow when Matthias left. Their deaths would not be at my hands, nor would they face the agony of guilt if they needed to cull me.
I was going.
But as I swept my gaze over my friends, all I could think of was how, for the first time in my life, I truly didn’t want to be alone.
Matthias sat up, rubbing his eyes. Messy locks of dark hair tumbled across his forehead, immediately flopping back down when he raked his fingers through it. He blinked, then looked across to me, that damned smile lighting up his whole face and setting my soul ablaze.
‘Morning.’ His rough, ragged voice warmed me more than last night’s fire. He grabbed his boots, banging them upside down to check nothing had made its home in them during the night. Laying my cheek against my knees, I watched him through the swirls. Images of the life we were so close to holding skipping through my head. He glanced up, one boot on, the other in his hand, before casting a furtive look over the camp. When his eyes met mine again, they’d darkened, awakening a thrill within. Matthias raised his index finger to his lips, a signal for quiet. My cheeks warmed as he cast the boot aside and scooted over the space between us. Tucking me against his firm chest. I exhaled, snuggled closer.
Cradling my jaw, his thumb traced over my eyebrow, tracing down to my chin, tilting my head. Smiling, I stretched forward, my lips brushing the corner of his curved mouth. He pulled away, a playful glint in his eyes as I scowled. Oh, we were playing games, were we? Shrugging my shoulders, I turned, ready to scamper away. His hand flew towards my neck, but I remembered this move and dived to the side, snorting as he grabbed nothing but air. He lunged again and, for a few moments, we grappled till I squealed as he flipped me onto my back. Glesni snorted in her sleep.
We bit our lips, desperate to stifle the laughter, before Matthias settled over me, placing his fingers over my mouth. My teeth grazed the tips and he dragged them back, burying his head in the crook of my neck, shaking with hidden laughter. I closed my eyes, wishing we could have this moment for eternity.
This was him. This was my Matthias and damn, had I missed him. He rose up, slowly, his arms framing my face, and I swallowed as he held my gaze. Gods, even though my vision shook, his beauty still stole my breath. With hooded eyes, he lowered himself, his lips pressing tenderly against mine. A moan rose through me as the comforting weight of his body sparked rising waves through my core. I ran my hands across his stubbled chin as slowly, gently, we kissed.
Blood rushed through me as his mouth trailed down the column of my throat and he pressed against me. His pebbled skin shuddered as my hands skimmed up his sides, sliding his shirt higher. My lips quirked as he bit the crook of my neck to stifle his moan. Rising onto his elbows, he scanned the camp, grinning as his knuckles reached under my tunic, tracing a line up between my breasts. I couldn’t fight the gasp escaping my lips as my back arched into him. Bastard. Someone would hear in a moment. Glaring at him, I ran my hand lower down, my eyes widening when I discovered how hard he was. He grabbed my hand, and smirking, pressed it down above my head. I bucked my hips and his lips crashed down, just in time for me to steal his hiss.
He kissed me deeper, laying his far too comfortable weight across me, and flames burned through me hotter than the volcano. I didn’t want to move. Had no desire to ever stop this moment. This kiss. A kiss to stop the world. A kiss that shook the ground.
No. My eyes flew open. I pressed my hands against Matthias’s firm chest, pushing him away. Confusion swept across his face for a moment, till he sprang up, cursing and grabbing his other boot.
