I stifled a wince as pain stabbed behind my good eye. I lowered my head so he wouldn’t notice. ‘Don’t tell me. You thought I’d be a feeble little girl with a stick, crying in a corner over all she’s lost?’
Matthias’s nostrils flared. ‘That’s not exactly how I pictured it, but yeah, I underestimated you. And I should have known better.’
His gloved hand lay over my own. An ache opened in my chest and I pulled away. His hand remained where it was for a few moments, before he grabbed his reins and we continued in silence.
This was the boy who’d owned my heart. I’d given it far too willingly and then, the one time when I needed him, he’d failed me. At my lowest, my darkest, my loneliest, the boy who’d been my guiding light faded into oblivion.
It had cleft a hole nothing could ever heal.
Until recently. But the other night he’d placed his duty above me yet again. I glanced across and my chest constricted. He was on my left, weaker side, but I knew every line, each soft curve of his profile by heart. His straight nose, straight to the end where it turned up the teeniest bit. His smooth forehead and those long, dark lashes framing the greenest of eyes. I could trace the angles of his jaw, how it met with his long neck, the bump of the Adam’s apple. I itched to sketch it, but then I hadn’t sketched anything in years.
I kept my gaze resolutely ahead. Asher at the front, shouted warnings about any hazards as we left the main road and travelled across bone jarring, barely traversed tracks. The low light layered the autumn leaves with a gilded sheen piercing myeyes. I silently heaved in long breaths to stave off the constant stabbing in my temple.
Crows cried out a harsh song from the boughs of skeletal trees, while a low mist hung about the yellowing blades of once verdant grass. A wave of nausea rolled through me. Lunch had been slices of strong, dark cheese, cured, unbelievably chewy, meat and a rich chunk of bread. Glesni complained about the lack of tea, but Asher promised her he’d brew up this evening when a fire was lit. I side-eyed her as she sat in her wagon, chortling away to herself.
Damned woman was always complaining.
I scrunched my eyes to avoid the glaring rays of stark light. Hadn’t anyone else noted how damned bright it suddenly was? I scratched the prickling hairs on the back of my neck. How much longer would we be travelling this fucking road? Perhaps I should have stayed? I rolled my aching shoulders. At least if I’d stayed I’d have a reprieve from Matthias and the games he obviously thought were so damned funny. I cracked open my eyes, hissing as the light assaulted me, gripping the reins tighter.
Glesni chattered away to the guards on either side. She cackled loudly, and I blew out a sharp breath, the noise vibrating around my cracking skull. Glaring at her, my jaw tightened. How could she laugh? She’d lost her wife, and here she was, laughing, chatting in the too pissing bright light, sat in her wagon like some sort of fucking god. I raised my hand, scratching the itch at my neck, before staring resolutely ahead. Asher called back, a warning about some stones. Stones? Groaning, I scratched the damned same spot on my neck. My sight was poor, I wasn’t fucking stupid. I scratched again, harder this time. The fucking itch refused to go, spreading up my neck. What if something had me? What if a spider was in my hair? Oh Gods, what if?—
‘Sorrow!’ Matthias screamed my name.
I dragged fragments of burning air into my shattered lungs. Meeting his gaze, I almost lunged, desperate to gouge my nails into his skin. Destroy that perfect face of his. I lowered my clenched hand as he grabbed the reins, halting both our horses.
‘Fuck,’ he whispered.
I shivered so violently I wondered if the sun had set.
‘Your face, Sorrow. Youreyes.’
He ripped his glove off with his teeth, leaning across and swiping my cheek below my left eye. He held up his hand. Blood smeared on his trembling fingers. Blood from myeyes. I swallowed, my dry mouth unable to find any words. The phantom itch seared by the back of my ear and I reached up, touching the spot driving me mad.
I straightened my spine as Matthias cried for Glesni.
‘Put her in my wagon,’ she said, any hint of mirth long gone from her voice.
Matthias leapt from his horse and, in a heartbeat, he’d taken my feet from the stirrups and I trembled in the safety of his arms.
‘Move,’ he yelled at Pablo, who’d been resting his huge head on Glesni’s lap. The wolf held me in his gaze. He knew. Even the damned wolf knew, and he leapt to the ground as Matthias gently sat me next to my mentor.
His eyes were wide, nostrils flared as he ran his hand under my eye, and I shoved him away, covering the spot with my own hand.
‘What is it?’ he asked. ‘It can’t…how can it be the blight, Glesni? How can this be happening?’
She leaned forward, shoving him away. ‘I told you she’d gone too long without using her gift. It’ll take a while for the blight to go. Now stop fussing, man, get back on that horse of yours.’
He took hold of my chin and gently turned me, scouring my face with his wide eyes. I took a settling breath.
‘It’s okay, Matthias. She’s right,’ I lied, my hand reaching across and finding Glesni’s. I clung to her leathery skin, and she squeezed back. My body trembled with the force of holding back the panic. ‘I’ll be fine.’
Forcing a smile on my face, pain slammed across my temple, and I prayed to Evella my eye wasn’t bleeding again.
Matthias’s mouth thinned as he took me in. ‘I should send you back…’
I swiped what I prayed was a tear from my cheek. ‘You dare, Elmswood.’
He exhaled deeply. ‘Perhaps we should call this all off. Return.’
