“That’s settled then. We’ll get done here, I’ll take the mutt and you can enjoy your mystery man’s last night. See if you can get him to stick around.”
“I’ll try,” I promised.
???
Hours later, when the sun was setting and Alaw had left me and the house shinier and more sparkling than ever, I looked over it with pride. The cottage might be old and it might have its problems, but I was proud of it and the life I’d built.
I glanced into my parents’ - no, my bedroom now. Alaw had worked her magic with the bedding and it didn’t smell abandoned any more. The setting sun peeked through the window and bathed the bed in a golden glow. My heart thumped with anticipation. I wanted to do the right thing and romanceJames when he got here, but equally I wanted to get him through the front door, rip his clothes off and throw him straight onto the bed and not let him leave until he had to. I was sure there was a compromise between the two somewhere.
I sniffed my t-shirt and recoiled a little bit. The process of getting the house fully cleaned had obviously not done me as many favours. I stripped off my t-shirt and trousers and walked to the bathroom, throwing them in the little laundry basket that Alaw had brought with her. I realised then that she hadn’t just been helping me make the house look nicer and cleaner - she had been preparing it for two people. Making it a home.
I turned on the shower and stepped into the tub, letting hot water fall over me and soothe my fast beating heart. I would be seeing James later in the night, and even the thought of him was getting me semi-hard. “Down, boy.” I muttered at myself. I had plenty of insecurities about pleasing him - I would be the most recent in a long line of lovers for him, and he had surely had the best - but just thinking of him and the times we had shared soothed my fears.
As I turned off the shower and grabbed a towel from the railing my mind was filled only with thoughts of him.
Little did I know then that he was already gone.
11
Chapter Eleven
James
I was halfway back to London before I realised I didn’t have a number for Llywelyn. We had spent so long together that I had almostpresumed, like his phone number could have gotten into mine via osmosis or something. It seemed that spending just 3 days in the remote little village had completely disconnected me from my usual need for my phone. I hoped to God that the thieves hadn’t somehow made it into my old phone. There were pictures and messages in there that no one in their right mind would have taken or sent. And perhaps I hadn’t been before, because now I felt in my right mind.
Or I had until I’d had a call from the police telling me they had 7 hours in order to convict the criminals they thought might have been the ones to mug me. And a train from Hiraeth to London took almost 6 hours. I had no idea why they had waited so long to tell me, but I was rushing now. In my panicto get there, I had called the local taxi service that Llywelyn had mentioned and gotten them to take me to the station as I had no idea where he was working. I had left my suitcase, new clothes and knitting in Hiraeth. It felt almost like I had left it behind entirely. And I didn’t want to. I wanted nothing more than to be with Llywelyn tonight, and never to leave.
Don’t be so stupid,my mind supplied unhelpfully.You’ve known him 3 days.And I had. And I didn’t know if things would work out for us, but I knew if I didn’t get back to Hiraeth then I would never get the chance to try.
I stood up as the train pulled into London Victoria. The police station was a 20 minute walk away and I’d asked Owen to meet me as moral support.
The second I alighted I felt myself tense at the crowds bustling through the platform. I used to love the hustle and bustle of the big city but now it felt kind of oppressive. I wanted to get straight back on the train and get back to Hiraeth. But I couldn’t. I had a job to do.
My phone rang. “Where are you?” I asked.
“At the entrance by the LEON,” Owen replied. I headed over and sure enough he was there and holding a takeaway bag in hand. I ran to him and hugged him.
“My favourite?” I asked, and he nodded. I pulled away from the hug and took the little paper wrapped burger from the bag. I took a bite. “God, that’s good. It’s the only thing I’ve missed from London…and you of course.”
“Thanks,” replied Owen sardonically. “I don’t even know why you like it. You’re not even vegan. You eat steak, for fuck’s sake.”
“If you don’t understand the feelings I have for the LEON Love Burger then maybe we can’t be friends. I don’t even believe it’s vegan, I think they’re lying to me.”
“I think you’re lying to yourself if you can pretend that’s meat. Anyway, we better rush. By my reckoning we have…45 minutes.”
“Let’s go then.” I was ready to face them. I was sure of it.
???
I was not ready to face them. I felt Owen’s arm tighten around me reflexively as I tensed, but I found that my best friend wasn’t the comfort I wanted or needed right now. He had always been there for me, but it felt like that instinctual need to be comforted had pivoted elsewhere. And I knew where.
We were looking at a monitor which displayed a little bland room with a wooden table inside. At that table sat the little man who had so completely altered my life. A police officer just as bland as the room who hadn’t bothered introducing himself stood next to Owen and I whilst we could see Detective Inspector Butt on the monitor, facing away from the camera on the opposite side of the table to the young man.
“For the tape, this is Detective Inspector Richard Butt. Could you please state your name for the record?”
“Dick Butt?” I whispered to Owen. “His name is Dick Butt?”
I laughed despite myself, and the police officer stood with usshushedme. I mouthed a quicksorryand turned back to the screen.
