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At long last the day’s initiation is over, and I head out with Dane and Liam. We decide to stop by a pizzeria on the way home, and we each order a large pie. Standing around in the blistering sun works up quite an appetite.
“Fuck. Me,” groans Dane as he shovels an entire slice into his mouth. “That was the longest day in the world. I wish I could go back to the moment I signed my name on that line, and fuckingnotsign it.”
“I didn’t really have a choice,” shrugs Liam. “Dad would’ve killed me.”
I nod in agreement with Liam.Same.I don’t even want to know how Dad would have reacted had I refused.
“I mean, standing still on your feet for a whole day sucks,” says Liam, chewing on his pepperoni pizza. “But you know what’s ten times worse?”
“Killing people?” I guess, trying to contort my face into an expression that would make those words believable.
I fucking can’t wait to put a bullet in someone’s brain. Someone who isn’t the insect.
The urge is still there, strong as ever, and sometimes it takes every inch of my willpower not to act on it.
I clench my jaw as Liam snorts. “Hell no. I’m looking forward to that.”
Is it my imagination or does he do the exact opposite as me? Force an expression to show hewantsto be a killer?
“What then?” says Dane impatiently.
“It’s having to risk running into our dads for the rest of our lives at work.”
Dane guffaws and even I find myself chuckling. Making these friends has started to open me up just a bit.
No. Not friends. Brothers. Blood brothers.
A surge of warmth enters my heart as for the first time, the words we’ve repeated endlessly at the initiation take on their full meaning.
“To be fair,” says Dane, “every soldier has the same problem. Only the sons of Devil employees can hope to become Devil soldiers.”
“Yeah.” Liam tears off another piece of pizza. “Guess they don’t want the plebs knowing what they’re up to.”
“Well, two years down,” sighs Dane. “One year to go.”
All three of us groan loudly as we finish off the pizza and pay. Then we go back outside and rev up our bikes.
“My house,” yells Dane, and soon we’re speeding down the Astley roads, our engines so loud it feels like they can be heard in a ten mile radius.
There’s nothing like the feeling of whipping down the highway, the wind in my hair, dressed all in black with my hoodie and the distressed leather jacket over it making me sweat in the late May weather, with two friends. I used to scoff at people who walked around in cliques, but that’s because I wasn’t in them. Now I am, and there’s nothing like the feel of belonging.
It takes the edge off my hunger.
I could never quite figure out what that hunger was all about, I just knew the only way to satiate it for good was to kill the insect.
Which isn’t possible, because I’m not a monster. I don’t think.
I know we’re going to be killing people as soldiers, but that’sdifferent. The people who will meet their deaths at our hands will deserve it. They’ll have gone against Devil. Their death will serve some greater purpose.
What the fuck would the insect’s death ever accomplish, other than removing an annoyingly cheerful voice from the face of this Earth?
We stop in front of Dane’s place, park our bikes and head into his garage. We topple over into worn-down leather couches and he grabs a few beers from the garage freezer. Meanwhile, Liam is stuffing a bong with weed and then lighting it.
“Gotta get this out of our system, man,” he drawls as he takes a puff. “Next year they’re starting the drug tests.”
“Fucking soldiers,” coughs out Dane, taking the bong from Liam. “Why are we doing this to ourselves?”
