“It’s you.”
I look up into his earnest eyes and blurt out what’s been on my mind since we left the bookstore. “Teach me.”
He frowns. “Teach you what?”
“How it’s supposed to be between a man and a woman.”
He blinks before swallowing hard. “Citi, you don’t know what you’re asking.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t treat me like I’m a child without a mind of my own. I know what happened to me, Ambros. I was there. Iremember every fucking second of it. I’m asking you to help me reclaim what he stole from me.”
“Fuck, angel, I want you, you know I do, but are you sure you’re ready for this?”
“No. I’m not sure about anything, but I know I want to try. And I have to start somewhere. What I do know is it’s you, or it’s nobody.”
He pulls me into him, holding me so I can feel the evidence of how hard he is pressed against my stomach. He kisses me, harder than before, allowing me a peek of what he’s feeling before he tears his mouth away and rests his forehead against mine. “You control everything. You say stop, I stop. I don’t care if my dick is inside you. You tell me no, it stops. I swear it.”
“I know, Ambros. And that’s why it has to be you. I don’t trust anyone else to take care of me the way you do.”
He frowns. “I’ll help you anyway you need me to. But you’ve gotta know, angel, this is more than an experiment for me.”
I reach up and flick his forehead. “Don’t be an idiot.”
He huffs out a laugh. “Yes, ma’am.”
I roll my eyes, hoping it can always be as easy as this between us, though I know that will be impossible with what I’ve asked of him.
“Know if I freak out and cry, it’s not you. I’ve been around dozens of men since I got free, but you are the only one I’ve been attracted to. You are everything I want in a man. I just have to see, have to try, if I can be everything you need in a woman.”
Before he can refute that and tell me I’m already everything he needs, because he’s a good guy, and that’s precisely what he’ll say, I silence him with my hand across his mouth.
“For this to work, we have to be honest with each other always. Even when it hurts. Even when it might break us.”
He grits his teeth. “I won’t do anything to hurt you, Citi. Please don’t ask that of me.”
“Sometimes it’s gotta hurt first before it heals, but this works both ways. If you ask me to stop, if it all becomes too much, you have to tell me. I won’t make you do something you don’t want to do either. I promise.”
He shudders against me but relents. I feel it in the way his body relaxes against mine.
“You’re going to be the death of me. I just fucking know it.”
I grin but don’t dispute his words. Something tells me this will be one of the hardest things we’ve ever done.
His large hand wraps around one of mine as he tugs me up the path to the saloon. I walk beside him, but keep looking at him. He’s really good at hiding what he’s feeling, and right now I’m not sure if that’s a blessing or a curse.
He pushes the door open with his free hand and pauses. I turn to see what has him frowning and find my daughter with her hands up in a fighting stance, a fierce look on her face as Havoc, G, Toot, and Circus lie out on the ground.
“What the heck is going on here?”
Probe, who is standing on the other side of the room, making a cross sign with his fingers, glares up at me. “Your daughter is a menace.”
I grin. “Thank you.”
He grins before he cracks up laughing. “She’s single-handedly taken down some of the club’s best men. I see an enforcer position in her future.”
“Do not put ideas into my daughter’s head,” I warn him, moving toward Star, who looks up when she senses me. She drops her hands before grinning widely and launching herself at me.
“Oof, you nearly took me down, too. You can tell someone’s been eating all their vegetables,” I tease as I pick her up and rub my nose against hers. “You have fun with Uncle Havoc?” I lookaround at all the men looking at her with affection. “Well, with all your uncles?”
