“Is that a threat?” Benedek snarled, pushing his chair back from the table and gripping his fork so tight his knuckles paled.
“No.”It could be.
I pointed at myself. “You put me in a dangerous position.”
“And I’ve apologised!” he roared.
“Through Mum.” I shoved another sprout in my mouth. “An apology through another person doesn’t really count when you gambled with my health and Fia’s name.”
He laughed incredulously, as if he expected it all to be swept under the Christmas tree skirt with all the cheer and oh-so-jolly family celebrations. “You two togetherwere wrong. Mum and Imre deserved better. And your health was fine. You say it like you wouldn’t have been devastated to know you couldn’t race.”
“I am devastated!”
“You’d rather die on the track than rot on the sidelines.”
A few years ago, when I first crashed, that might have been true.
But I had so much to live for. Or, I had.
I wasn’t devastated over the loss of my bike or driving license. I was devastated over what else I’d lost.
“There is no cure for this, Benedek. I will never race again. In any capacity. I’m not even cleared to drive a car yet. My whole life not only stopped, but I also look like I don’t careabout the lives of other racers. It looks like Fia doesn’t either!”
“You were a god on two wheels, Zoltán. You were our grandfather. A Farkas. I gave you a future instead of it being stripped away from you—”
“And nearly gave me a death sentence!” I shouted, standing even as Nagyi held the seam of my jumper, trying to keep me grounded. “Every time the room spun, every time my knees buckled and my vision blackened, I had no idea what was happening to me. You told me it was normal. You went so far to cover your tracks and put her right in the middle of all this.” I looked at my family. Her father. “Why aren’t you furious about this? Why aren’t you screaming? She’s your daughter!”
“And nothing can change what has already happened,” Imre tried to reason. “Fia has a new life now. She’s back in her placement. She’ll be fine.”
No. That wasn’t good enough. She would carry thisforever.
“She deserves more than ‘fine,’” I snapped.She deserves more than me. “You ruined me. You ruined her.”
“I didn’t realise—I didn’t expect anyone to—”
“Find out?” I laughed. “You’re the one who told Yvonne!”
Benedek’s face screwed up in disgust and confusion. “What? No. I didn’t. Why would I do that?”
“Because I fired you!”
“That would have lasted a day,” he said, shaking his head.“It wasn’t me. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“I think we all need to take a minute—” Mum started.
“You didn’t?”I asked. “You actually didn’t?”
“No,” Benedek sighed, slumped back in his chair, and threw his fork into his soup. “I’ve been trying to find out who it was for the last two months, but I’m obviously not allowed to see any of the records.”
I sat opposite him, the frown unfortunately not powering my thoughts to race any faster. I stared at the candle we lit to remember my grandfather.
Despite everything, I believed him. I hated it.
“Nora?”
He shook his head, brows low. “She wouldn’t have known. Even when she was around after the crash, she wasn’t listening to your results. She was crying for the reporters. And how was she going to get the original report? She thinks she has connections, but she doesn’t.”
He looked at Mum, who was tearing up, and then he tried to blink away his own tears.
