I laughed, a hollow sound that echoed across the rocky cliff. "Do I? She fed information to the feds, Rhea. Information that could have gotten me killed. That could still get me killed."
Sitting up straighter, she turned towards me fully. "She stopped, though. She told you she stopped."
"And I'm supposed to believe that?" I ran my hands through my hair, wincing when my fingers caught in the dried blood. "Fuck. I don't know what to believe anymore."
"Believe that she loves you." Rhea's voice was soft but certain. "I've known Elin a long time, and I've never seen her look at anyone the way she looks at you."
I closed my eyes, remembering Elin's face when she'd admitted what she'd done. The defiance had been there, yes, but beneath it, regret. Pain. Fear. Not fear of me, but could it have been a fear of losing me? "She was trying to avenge Joel."
"Yes."
"I killed him." The words scraped at my throat as I picked at dried blood under my fingernails, the metallic scent still clinging to my skin.
Rhea was quiet for a long moment, her breath catching before she whispered, "Maybe it's time she knew."
I shook my head violently, my chest constricting until I could barely breathe. The mere thought of telling Elin the truth made something primal inside me want to claw its way out through my ribcage.
"Father would—"
"Father isn't here," Rhea interrupted. "And this is destroying you. It's done enough damage already."
The memory of that night crashed over me: Joel's face, the knife in my hand, my father's cold command. The choice I'd made. I stared at the water, the setting sun shimmering on its surface. The silence was deafening, filling my ears with a ringing that seemed to echo my internal turmoil. "Rhea," I began, my voice barely a whisper, "how did you even find me?"
She let out a heavy sigh and sat up straighter. “Harley called. Told me what happened with the agent. Elin also called and told me that you came by and that she confirmed she had passed off information but hadn't done anything in months. Months, Gavriel.”
“Why does everyone keep pointing that out? A betrayal is still a betrayal. We’ve shredded people for lesser offences.”
“Thefamilyhas, but she isn’t family. She’s someone who waswrongedbythe family.Wekilled Joel.” Her voice thickened with his name, but she continued, “I take ownership of his death,too. However, I won’t feel bad for finding love. Joel made me happy. He was a good man and an excellent father. We took that away from her. Her only remaining family was snatched from her life violently. You handed me his still-warm heart, Gavriel.”
My chest hitched. I still hated that I’d been a mechanism of her pain. She sniffled, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw her wipe a tear.
“I loved Joel with every fiber of my being. If he had betrayed the family, I know I wouldn’t have been able to kill him either.” She played with her fingers as I stared at my hands. Hands that had destroyed. Hands that had done just that only a few hours ago and were still stained red in the cracks of the calluses. “Which is probably why he made you do what you did.”
“Rhea . . .”
“I’m just saying, I know how you feel. I stand by the fact that they are different situations, but you love her, Gavriel. I can see it in ways that no one other than Harley can.”
“He said she loves me.”
“She does, even if she can’t say it. It’s hard to admit that you love your father’s murderer.” I gave her an even look, and she shrugged. “She didn’t kill anyone. She made your life hell. Pissed Father off to high hell and back, which I fucking love by the way.”
She jostled me with her elbow at that, and I couldn’t help but smile a little at just how pissed Father was. “He blames me for everything. Threatened to put me down if anything else goes wrong.”
Rhea was quiet for a moment before she whispered, “So put one in him before he has a chance to.”
I blinked, and my head snapped around to look at her. Tears were rolling down her face. “What?”
Her eyes were still downcast, studying the hillside before us intently. “He’s destroyed our lives. I understand where Elin is coming from. Our family took away the one steady, solid part ofher life. The one man she loved more than anything. While I lost Joel, I still have you, but he was all that she had.” Slowly, her attention rose to my face, tears glistening in her eyes that also burned bright with determination. “So, what are you going to do?”
That was the question. I wanted to be pissed as hell at Elin, but what Rhea said made sense. I could see her point of view. Elin was mine. My Goddess. The woman who had unintentionally stolen my heart, just as Joel had taken Rhea’s.
"I need time," I said finally. "I need to think."
Rhea nodded and stood up, brushing off her jeans. "Just don't take too long. Elin's hurting too, and . . ." She hesitated. "Father's asking questions. About the leaks. About her."
A chill ran through me that had nothing to do with the evening air. "Keep him distracted. Tell him I'm handling it."
"Andareyou?"
