Gemma shook her head. “Please . . . I really need you to go.”
Imara shrugged. “Tough.” She plopped down on one of the benches and crossed her long legs, wiggling the one on top. Her head tilted as she stared at Gemma through narrowed eyes.
Gemma didn’t have to be as good as Imara at reading people to understand her friend was waiting for Gemma to unload.
Before the Trials, Imara had wanted nothing to do with Gemma. In fact, she’d been downright cold and rude. Why couldn’t she be that person again? It would make it a lot easier for Gemma to return to the recluse she’d been for the past three years.
Imara raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms.
Gemma rolled her eyes, flinging her arms out to her sides. “What do you want me to say?”
“It was impressive magic what you did there—going in as one version of Gemma and coming out as another.”
Gemma scoffed and turned to walk away.
Imara sighed, gently grabbing Gemma’s wrist. “Look, I know we aren’t, like, best friends or anything. But how about I give you some advice? Don’t push away the people who care about you, because if you think the hardest thing in the world is to watch them leave, you’re wrong.The most excruciating misery in all the universes is the loneliness they leave behind. Spend every moment you can with them while you still have them, because the memories are what will keep you alive. Trust me.”
Gemma’s chin trembled. Loneliness was what had made her steal the drugs from the infirmary to try to silence the agony in her soul. Yet wasn’t it because of her memories of Nadine that she was here in the first place? Avenging her sister is what gave her purpose. Without those memories, she would be wandering aimlessly in the world.
Or not here at all.
Gemma shook her head to clear her emotions, facing Imara. “What happened to the guy they found in your bed? That’s who you’re talking about missing, isn’t it? That test didn’t share our deepest secret. It shared our most painful memory.”
Imara’s gaze turned sad. “He was murdered. Just...not by me. At least, not intentionally.”
Gemma sat across from her, folding her hands together.
Imara huffed. “You know, you’re the only person I’m ever going to tell the actual truth to.”
When Gemma kept quiet, Imara took a deep breath.
“His name was Jeramy,” she started, “and he was the only man I’ve ever actually loved. I used to run ‘errands’ for clients and my mom’s club, and Jeramy was one of my clients.” She paused, her eyes glossing over. “I used to do snatch-and-grab jobs for him. I was really good at it too. Being able to read people made it easy to spot the milksops.
“Except, one of these milksops happened to be the wife of a really powerful person in Perileos. He tracked me down, killed Jeramy while he slept next to me, and told me I’d be dead too if my mom hadn’t been one of his biggest clients.”
Gemma pressed a hand to her stomach, her eyes burning. “I’m...so sorry. I can’t even imagine.”
Imara wiped a rogue tear from her cheek. “It was, without a doubt, the worst day of my life. What I see growing between you and Christian reminds me so much of what it was like with Jeramy in the early days.
“I know you’ve been through a lot. I remember what came up in the test for you too. But believe me when I say that if I could have one more day—one more day—with Jeramy, I’d give up my soul.” Her voice cracked, and Gemma grabbed her hand.
She understood now why Imara never took anything seriously and slept with random men—her heart was shattered. But, unlike Gemma, she’d tried to glue it back together with humor and sex, while Gemma had put up walls.
It wasn’t until meeting Imara that Gemma had found a friend.
Colton had saved her life at the beginning of the Trials and had stood up for her against Alfie.
Hawk was genuine and funny and had been nothing but kind.
And the Dissent may have taught her how to stay alive, but it wasn’t until meeting Christian that she’d remembered how to live.
Three years ago, she’d waved goodbye to the one person she cared about and never saw her again. She wouldn’t do that a second time. These were her people now. She didn’t have to be alone anymore. Her pain could end, if she would just let it.
“You gonna go talk to him?” Imara asked, and Gemma nodded. “Good. Now, shower and freshen up ‘cause you look terrible.”
Gemma snorted and squeezed her friend’s hand.
When Gemma left the locker room and saw Christian’s bed empty, she knew where to find him.
