“I told you to get out of here!” he yelled back, locking his gaze with hers, something ravenous flashing deep within them. “Now, go!”
From his vest, Christian pulled the bomb he’d taken from Colton. He flicked off a piece of the translucent orb then pushed himself off the ground, barreling toward the bounty hunters.
No.
Gemma’s throat tightened as she forced herself to sprint as hard as she could into the tunnel.
A loud boom shook every molecule of the world around her—Gemma’s legs gave out. She crashed to the ground, screaming when her injured shoulder hit the hard surface. Dust and small debris rained from the ceiling of the tunnel as a lump lodged in her throat.
She knew so much death: her parents, her sister, Moriah. She’d watched as Hawk’s head exploded, as a wall painted with the brains of a bounty hunter. Speckles of dried blood still clung to her face from a man who could’ve killed her—or worse.
And now, she’d run as Christian died. His death might have been simulated, but her heart couldn’t tell the difference.
Gemma’s breaths came too shallow and fast. She leaned against the wall of the tunnel and placed a quivering hand on her chest. Loud exhales left her, mingled with whimpers of fear, regret, sorrow, terror.
Her heartbeat pounded in her spine, the left side of her chest pinching as she breathed through clenched teeth. Her head hurt; the world spun; she couldn’t feel her legs.
Gemma closed her eyes and pictured Nadine’s gentle hand on her cheek.
“Deep breaths, Gemstone. In and out, nice and slow, like Mom taught us.”
Gemma repeated Nadine’s words in her head until her senses began to clear.I can do this. I can do this. She stood and hurried to where the captives waited.
As a group, they exited the building. Gemma gasped fresh air for the first time in what felt like days. A second later, a high-pitched whistle told her that she was being sucked back to reality.
Gemma lay in her sleep chamber with her arms over her eyes for moments after returning to Zion. A loud cheer rang outside the near-soundproof glass of her compartment—they passed their Oranos Trials.
They won.
None of them would ever have to return to Perileos.
So, why did Gemma’s heart feel so heavy?
It wasn’t until Imara asked everyone where she was that Gemma bothered to leave the isolation of her chamber. She could’ve lain there for hours, trying to stuff down the memories, the loss, the agony, thelingering heartache that ceased to go away no matter how much she breathed or how hard she tried to make herself happy.
Death reopened festering wounds to those left behind, and today’s simulation was a reminder of how much Gemma had loved—and how much she had lost.
Christian closed the distance between them in a second, his face lined with worry.
Gemma’s nostrils flared as she pushed him away from her, hard. “Don’t you ever do that in real life. Do you hear me?”
He grimaced, his brows furrowing. He reached for her again. “Gemma—”
“Don’t.” She swatted his arm away and held a hand between them. “Just don’t.”
Gemma spun on her heels and marched for the door, her eyes burning. She knew she was being harsh, but she couldn’t help it.
If the simulation had done anything, it reminded her that pushing him away now was better than letting him burrow any deeper into her soul.
“Let her go,” Imara gently said to Christian before Gemma threw open the door and left them staring after her.
By the time she reached the ladies’ locker room, Gemma’s throat was clamped. Her chest ached like Reva’s gravity pressed upon her, and she sucked in deep, agonizing breaths, tears rolling down her cheek.
It didn’t bring her any joy to hurt Christian. In fact, she was convinced it probably hurt her more. But she had to do this to protect herself. What she went through after losing Nadine was worse than anything she’d ever experienced in her life. She’d rather have been run over by one of Perileos’ trams.
She couldn’t open herself up to being destroyed like that again.
The door to the locker room opened, and Imara barged inside. “So, I’m assuming you probably want to be left alone, but I’ve decided I’m not going to let you.”
