The foreign rage abandoned Gemma’s body as quickly as it had seized her.
Time righted itself.
Gemma’s eyes refocused, centering in on the cold, brown ones of her former teammate, her hand around the knife buried deep in Colton’s chest, his sticky, red blood coating her fingers.
Whimpering, Gemma stumbled backward, letting go of the dagger. Strong arms reached under hers before she hit the floor.
“I killed him,” she said. “I didn’t mean—that wasn’t me—I wanted—oh my stars, I killed him.” Her voice cracked.
“It’s all right,” Christian said, his chest pressed against her back. “You’re all right.”
“Get her out of here,” Rami said from somewhere behind them.
When had he appeared? Had he seen what she’d done? Would he execute her now for murdering a second person?
I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it.
“Come on,” Christian said, spinning her around.
“Imara, Hawk, go with Christian. Wait for my call,” Rami said. “Phoebe, prep for evac—civilians first. I want someone to take that radio apart. I need teams to search this building...”
Rami’s voice faded as Christian dragged Gemma away.
She was a real murderer now, not just some mind-warped assassin carrying out her master’s plan.
She’d killed Colton. She’d watched his soul leave his body. His blood was literally on her hand.
She hadn’t meant to. It was the thing inside her. It had taken over. She’d had no control—
The moment the four of them were outside the maintenance shaft, Gemma pushed off Christian and dry heaved into a corner. He traced large circles on her back as she stayed bent over, her empty stomach violently constricting.
“Good thing you didn’t have breakfast this morning,” Imara joked. “Can you imagine if—”
“Can you not?” Hawk interrupted. “Like, right now is probably not the best time to try to be funny.”
Gemma didn’t have to look to know Imara had cocked a hip. “Get your panties out of your butt crack. I’m trying to make her smile.”
Their bickering voices faded as reality set in. Colton had confirmed it was a bomb, and no one knew where he’d hidden it. Any hope they had of finding the device before it detonated was destroyed because of her. If people didn’t evacuate in time...
Gemma fell to her knees, her body folding in on itself, and screamed. She’d failed them. She’d failed everybody. She’d joined the Dissent not just for revenge but to save her people, and now...
Christian dropped to his knees in front of her, pulling her into his arms. “It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.”
“Nothing about this is okay!” She pushed herself out of his embrace. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall.
Her entire life with Nadine, every happy memory that had kept her alive for the last three years, was now tainted. All the plans they had made, all the dreams they had dared to chase...They were now nothing more than ruins at her feet, shattered like glass.
The agony in her chest stole her breath. She was stuck in one of her nightmares, a cruel twist of fate pulverizing her world into a million pieces. It hurt too much to think, to feel, to live.
The room spun.
Gemma clawed at her throat—she couldn’t breathe.
Her heart pounded in her ears. Sweat ran down her back. Nausea seized her stomach.
Christian took her face in his hands. “Deep breaths, Gemma.”
She shook her head. “I can’t—” A loud wheeze shook her chest.
