I should learn already to stop wishing for stupid, pointless things.It’s a bitter thought to fall asleep to, wishing I had my old life back, the one I wanted so badly to escape.But I do want it back.
Soft kisses wake me in pitch darkness.I open my eyes and see nothing, my heart rate accelerating, thinking I’ve gone blind, or that I’m trapped in some black cave.But that’s not the only reason.Because Matteo’s presence always means light.Even in the dead of night.And it’s no different now.And as much as I crave his kiss, I don’t want it.
He kisses my forehead, my cheeks, my lips, but doesn’t insist on deepening the kiss when I don’t return it.Instead, he trails more soft kisses down my neck, across my collarbone, each one leaving behind a small drop of light, until I can finally see him, see the room, see stars in the sky outside the window.
He slides his warm hands under the T-shirt I wore to bed and I should stop him, I should fight this, for my family.
But it’s like he said.This is the only pleasure left to me, and oh, God is it good.Especially as his lips find my nipples.He’s still going slow, following up each soft kiss with a soft caress.
I want more, I want harder, I want to come as hard as I did this morning.I want him to take me with the same animal need he did then.Because there’s no room for thinking in that onslaught of pleasure.There’s just pleasure.
But I’m not about to beg.Or ask him for anything.Ever.I will take all the pleasure he can give me.And leave the rest.He gives me no choice anyway.
I sigh as his lips travel across my belly, moan deeply as he kisses my clit right through the panties I wish I wasn’t wearing.He takes care of that in the next moment, yanking then down before resuming his worshiping of my clit.His kisses are still soft and slow, yet they’re like fire.The pure fire of bliss.That soft stuff dreams are made from.
I don’t need to ask him for anything.He already knows exactly what I need.And gives it freely,
His fingers join his lips on my clit.And then a finger is entering me, waking all the sensations of this morning, adding more, different, softer, more lasting ones.He adds another finger, and I sigh at the intrusion, feeling already too full, yet still too empty.
He starts driving his fingers into me, all the while resuming his slow, sensual kisses to my clit and the opposing sensations he’s creating are pulling me in two different directions wildly.I’m unable to choose which to focus on.So I don’t.I just let go.
And in two-three-four more thrusts I come undone.Like water spilling from a glass, the orgasm washes over my entire being.Not strong, but powerful, making my whole body vibrate, as pleasure enters every cell and touches every nerve ending.
He’s letting me ride it out, keeping his fingers deep inside me, grinning at me from the darkness.The only reason I can even see his face is because he is light.A sun that shines even in the dark.It’s painful to know I still see him that way.But the pleasure he’s giving me is winning even over that pain.
Then he’s on top of me, his lips so close that his whole face is a blur.
“Ready for more?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
That’s not the same as asking him for something.It’s just answering a simple question that has only one answer.
He enters me, sliding his cock into my pussy, filling the void left by his fingers.And just like that, the emptiness is gone.Not an issue anymore.
And it hurts knowing he’s the person who can complete me like this.Who can drive all else from my mind when he’s with me.Inside me.Mine.
But the pleasure he’s bringing as he slides his cock in and out, going as slow as his kisses before, erases even that pain.One slow thrust at a time.
I’m not even trying to control my moans anymore.Or my hands as I rake them over his back, his strong arms, his thick hair, everywhere I can reach.
His breathing is picking up too, in tune with my own, his grunts of pleasure matching my moans.
He picks up the pace, driving his cock into me faster, but not wild like this morning.He’s in complete control now.Of himself.Of my pleasure.
Which is rising and rising, the soft warmth filling me intensifying, sparkling, heating up, sparks flying.I come undone again, the orgasm stronger this time, and just as all-consuming.He comes with me this time, filling me with his come, giving me all of himself.Just as he’s taken all from me.
I didn’t give him all of me, but I didn’t stop him taking it.
And it hurts knowing that.
But that’s just a sad little thought floating on a sea of pure bliss, on the ocean of this pleasure that only he’s ever been able to give me.That probably only he can.
He slides out of me and off my body.I miss him immediately, more than I can take.But I won’t ask him for anything.It’s the least I can do to honor my family.
He kisses my lips softly, then my cheek, and finally my neck, right by my ear.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, the words carrying such emotion, such raw truth, my breath catches in my throat.
