“Yes. We. Unless you plan on breaking up with me. I’m in this, James. I’m in it with you for as long as you’ll have me.”
Forever. I want to have you forever.
“Want to know what I did for myself this week?”
He frowns, probably at the change of topic, but nods.
“This…right here. Will you stay for a while and just hold me?”
He pulls me close, and I know he’s smiling into my hair. “I’d stay all night if I could.”
I nod, stand, and take his hand. He can’t stay all night, but we can have a little while. We can lie in my bed with our arms around each other and pretend he doesn’t have to go.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Colton
“Well, this isa nice surprise,” Mom says when she opens the door and sees me there. “I feel like I don’t see you as much anymore. School must really be kicking your butt.”
I kiss her cheek and slip into the house. “Yeah, I’m busier with that, but it’s not the only thing.”
After Nash’s game last week and spending half the night in James’s room with him before sneaking out, I realized it’s time to tell my mom about him. There’s no getting around how I feel about him, everything I want from him, and she deserves to know. Plus, my birthday is coming up, and I want us all to be together, even if we still have to hide who we are to each other around the kids.
“Something good or something bad?” she asks, the worry in her voice clear.
“Something good.” I shrug. “Something great, actually.”
We sit in the living room, Mom across from me on the couch, facing each other. “You’re in love,” she says.
My eyes widen. “How do you know? Did Kota tell you? I’m gonna kick his ass.”
“Dakota knows?” She crosses her arms and pretends to pout.
“Not that I’m in love, but that I met someone. He really didn’t tell you?”
Mom shakes her head. “No, but I’m a mom. We just know these things. Who are they?”
Fuck, she’s so incredible. I love that she usestheyand doesn’t make assumptions about the gender of the person I’m with.
“His name is James. He’s…sweet. Bighearted but doesn’t see it. A little awkward around people. The kind of guy who doesn’t realize how great he is, ya know? He’s smart, a hard worker, would do anything for his family. He makes me feel good in this way I didn’t know I needed. Like there was something missing in my life and I didn’t know what it was until I found him.”
Mom’s eyes are glassy, and she wipes a stray tear. “He sounds wonderful, honey. You’ll make a very good partner—the best. He’s lucky to have you.”
“I’m lucky to have him,” I counter.
She smiles. “Is he a student at Peyton U too? Is that where you met?”
Well, shit. Here we go. I didn’t expect to get into it this soon. “No. We met earlier this year, in the spring, then lost touch, but I saw him again when I started school. He’s a professor.” I can’t lie to her. There’s no way. I want James, Nash, and Sadie to be a part of my life. I want them to be my family. She’ll find out what James does. It’s impossible to keep that secret.
“Oh.” She sits up straighter. “How old?”
“Forty. So not a huge age gap, and really, that doesn’t bother me. What matters is that we fit together, that we work, and we do work well.”
“Is he your professor?” Mom asks tentatively.
“He was, but I dropped his class.” I don’t tell her howrecently. She doesn’t need to know that part. “This isn’t anything weird, Mom. We met before. He didn’t know I’d be a student, and I didn’t know he was a professor. It was a surprise when we saw each other again. We didn’t think we’d become anything, but I liked him even then. I wanted to spend more time with him, and now I love him. We’ve taken actions we need to take for school, so that hopefully won’t be an issue.” I want to get it all out there, tell her everything so we can move on. “He also recently got custody of his two siblings—Nash is fifteen, Sadie eleven. They didn’t have the best upbringing. James didn’t know about them, but as soon as he found out, he brought them here to live with him, and he’s great with them. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for those kids, and I adore them too. They don’t know about James and me yet, they think we’re just friends, but eventually, we’ll tell them.” I scoot closer and take her hand. “I know this is a lot, but I don’t want to lie to you. Both you and James mean too much to me for me to do that. I really love him, and I need you to be supportive. I need you to trust me that this is good for me, that it’s what I want and I know what I’m doing.”
Mom watches me for a moment, studies me, looks at me with crinkled eyes and in this way only a mom can. “You’ve always been older than your age, Colton. You’ve always been a family man, even if it was just our family, or just Hannah. You’re a caretaker by nature, but you’re also smart, and you make good decisions. I can’t say I imagined you coming to me and telling me you’re in love with your professor who has two kids.”
