“Well, I’ll have to teach you,” I tell her. “Do you like it?” I ask Colton.
“Sure. Swimming is fun. I’ll race you,” he teases.
“I would win,” I counter. I have no idea if I could, but I’m pretty confident in my swimming abilities.
“Ooh! I can judge!” Sadie says from the back.
“Deal,” I agree.
“But no cheating for your brother.” Colton smiles back at her, the action making my heart go a little too fast. Everything about him makes me feel that way.
We continue chatting and joking around as we drive to the school. It does its job in making me forget to be nervous, but when we arrive, I can’t deny the swoosh of nerves that rushes through me, then settles in a constant ache.
Colton isn’t my student anymore. We’re allowed to be friends.
I remind myself of that as we park and make our way into the gym. I’ve worked so hard to become who I am, to gain the respect of my colleagues, to be tenured by forty. I’ve always lived in fear of messing it all up, of losing everything I’ve fought for, and now that feeling has intensified.
The team is warming up. Nash shoots, the ball going in smoothly, hitting nothing but the bottom of the net, just before he looks up and sees us. The huge smile that pulls at his mouth hits me straight in the chest. He looks…happy and proud. Maybe even surprised. Did he really not believe we would come? It’s not as if he’s ever had people show up for him in his life before, but I damn sure will always show up for him from now on. I don’t want him to ever doubt that I’ll always be there for him.
Colton too. Even if we break up, Colton would be there for him.
The three of us wave at him, but Nash schools his features and gives us an up-nod.
We find a seat in the bleachers, about halfway up, sitting behind our team’s bench. Sadie is between Colton and me, her little leg bouncing, showing just how nervous she is for Nash. “He’s lucky he has you as a sister,” I tell her. Their bond really is beautiful.
“He’s the best. He always protected me and took care of me, even if he got hurt in the process.”
My chest tightens, wondering how he might have gotten hurt, hating myself for not being there, but then Sadie scoots closer, like even if I wasn’t there for her before, she knows I’m there for her now.
I put my arm around her. “And now we all have each other, and if there’s ever anything you want to talk about, I’malways here. If you don’t want to talk to me, I’ll find a therapist for you. Whatever you need, okay?”
“I know,” she says, and they’re the best two words she could say to me. They mean she trusts me, and that’s worth everything. “Tasha says I can talk to her too.”
“I think she would be a great person for you to talk to.” I glance up and see Colton watching us. He winks, then turns back to the court, watching Nash.
The game starts a few minutes later. I’ve never in my life cared about basketball until today, and suddenly it’s the best game ever invented. I can’t stop myself from shooting to my feet every time Nash touches the ball, jumping and cheering each time he makes a shot or does something good on defense. My heart races the whole game, and I forget to be nervous about anyone seeing Colton and me together because nothing else matters other than Nash and his game.
I watch as he steals the ball from another player, then dribbles his way up the court. They get back on defense, but that doesn’t stop Nash. He doesn’t slow down, taking it all the way to the basket, shooting a layup, one of the other players swiping at his arm. Nash falls to the floor, the ball teetering on the rim, before it falls in.
“Fuck yes!” Colton cheers, as Nash scrambles to his feet. “Basket and the foul. He has the chance for a three-point play,” he tells Sadie and me. “We worked hard on his free throws.”
They all line up in place, Nash standing behind the free throw line. The ref tosses him the ball, and Nash dribbles it a couple of times, looks up at the basket, takes a noticeably deep breath, and shoots. The ball swooshes through the net cleanly, both Colton and I shoving to our feet to cheer as he just gave us a two-point lead with this play.
Our gazes catch, Colton’s eyes twinkling, giving me myfavorite mischievous smile, and I swear, my heart flips over in my chest…maybe calls out his name. I can’t help smiling back at him as we sit down again.
It’s a close game, the teams evenly matched, but when the final buzzer sounds, we’ve won by three points and the crowd goes wild. Sadie hugs me, cheering and dancing for Nash, then surprises me by turning around and hugging Colton too. He looks up at me, teeth showing when he gives the world’s biggest grin, like this moment means something to him too—like we all do…like he belongs.
Don’t push too far too fast. Don’t chase him away.
“Look at him,” I say, pointing to Nash, watching where he and his teammates celebrate, and he’s right there in the middle of it. A part of it.
We head down, Colton taking Sadie’s hand when she almost stumbles on the lip of one of the bleachers and making my heart go wild again.
Nash meets us on the floor, sweaty and looking like he’s the happiest kid in the world.
“Good game,” I tell him. “You’re a really great player.”
He nods. “Um, thanks. Thank you for letting me play. And for coming.” Nash looks away. I hate that he’s still unsure, that he still doesn’t trust me, but things are getting better. That’s what I have to remind myself. “I gotta go to the locker room with my team and stuff, but are you gonna come over tonight and celebrate with us?” he asks Colton.
