“I can stay by myself,” Sadie adds.
“No,” Nash and I both say at the same time.
I smile.
He scowls.
“We’ll figure it out,” I say. “Can you get me the info for tryouts? Those would usually start in October, I assume?” Which is right around the corner.
“Yeah, fine, whatever. But I don’t even want to play that bad.” Nash puts his earbuds in and finds a chair away from the rest of us. I feel Colton watching me, but I can’t make myself look at him. No matter what I do, it’s wrong, but I’m determined to keep trying.
Tasha finishes Sadie’s hair while Hannah packs her a gift bag with products and the bonnet. They go over hair care tips with her, then Tasha asks me, “Can I give her my number? In case she has any questions.”
I breathe out a sigh of relief, sure I’d screw that up too. “Yes. That would be great. Thank you.”
They exchange numbers, and then I’m paying and they’re hugging us goodbye. Colton has lingered on the sidelines, not saying much. In fact, I don’t think we’ve spoken to each other at all since they got back from playing basketball.
“I’ll walk you guys out,” he says, and I nod.
I want to thank him properly for today. Want to crawl for him, want to get on my knees and suck his dick until he shoots down my throat, then keep it in my mouth all night, just so he knows how much I appreciate him.
Nash is listening to music, both he and Sadie in the car as I stand outside my door, leaning against it, Colton in front of me.
“I know you’re probably worried about entwining our lives more, but can I offer to play ball with him again?” He keeps his voice low, just for us.
I should say no. Saying no would be the smart thing to do, but that’s not what happens. “Yes.”
“Thank you.”
“I should be thankingyou.”
“Oh, you will.” He grins. “It’s really fucking hard not to touch you.”
My breath hitches, knees weak. I’m dying for that too. “It’s not part of our arrangement.” It’s one thing to tease about it when we’re having video sex, but touching in real life is off-limits.
“I know, and I know I shouldn’t want to, but I’m also never going to lie to you, so there you have it. I want you, James, and the more I talk to you, the more I want you. I think it’s important you know that. Can I still give my number to Nash?”
I’m breathing too fast, body dying for the exact same thing Colton wants. Why is it like this with him? Why is itnowthat I crave someone this way? And why him?
I nod.
“Good boy,” he whispers, tossing me his mischievous grin, then bending down and knocking on the back window. Sadie rolls it down. “Hey, Nash. Take my number. Hit me up if you ever want to play ball again.”
I don’t look into the car, but when Colton starts rattling off his phone number, I assume Nash did what he asked.
“See you guys later,” he says to the kids. He starts walking away backward, holding his hand up to me. “Talk soon, James.”
“Yeah,” I reply, in what feels like a trance. “Talk soon.”
Then I clear my throat, get into the car, and drive away.
*
I don’t stopthinking about Colton the rest of the day.
That’s not what we’re supposed to be doing. That’s not what any of this should be about. Our lives are becoming entwined in ways I’ve never had with anyone, ways I certainly shouldn’t be having with my student…who is also my Dominant.
This situation is so out of hand and so inconsistent with who I am that I can’t help wondering what in the hell I’m doing, which sends me into a tailspin and stresses me out even more. I’m not sure how I feel about any of it, but I know I don’t have it in me to talk to Sir tonight. It would just mess with my already scrambled brain.
