“I know you won’t. You’ll make me proud,” he praises, and my heels immediately dig into the mattress because I can’tstop my legs from moving. “I know we’re not fucking, but how do you feel about me controlling your orgasms? Is that a limit for you?”
My cock twitches behind my sleep pants, that’s how I feel about it. God, I want it. I didn’t know how much until he asked. “It’s not a limit for me.”
“Good. Then you’re not allowed to come unless I say you can.”
“Can I come tonight?” I find myself asking.
“No. I’d like you to suffer for me a little first. Also, I expect you to eat breakfast every morning. No skipping. I’ll continue to take care of your lunches Monday through Thursday. I’m not in school on Fridays, but you’ll eat or you’ll be punished.”
He’s not in class Fridays? That means last week he came in only to bring me lunch.
“How will you punish me?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know? I have my ways.”
I groan, my dick hard and throbbing in a way I didn’t expect from this conversation, but even more than that, something settles inside my head, in my chest, a feeling of calm I haven’t had in a long time.
“As you know, I don’t have class on Fridays either. Sometimes I’m there working, though.”
“Okay. But lastly, before I let you go for tonight, you have to do at least one thing per week that’s just for you. It can’t have anything to do with the kids or work. I don’t care what it is. If you like jogging but rarely make the time to go, pick that. If you love reading but haven’t picked up a book in months, read a few chapters a week. If you like baking, then bake some cookies. It can be anything, really. It just has to be something you enjoy but rarely take the time to do.”
“Wait. Why do I have to do that?” I ask, then add, “Sir.”
“Because I said so and I’m the boss. I’ll expect you to tell me each week what you do and if you obeyed my rules each day. No lying. I have to be able to trust you, and you can trust me too. I’ll always be truthful with you.”
Somehow, I know he will be. “Okay. Thank you, Sir.”
“You’re very welcome. We’re going to start with this, but I may switch things up or add more as I see fit. If it’s not enough, if there’s something else you realize you need, I expect you to tell me.”
I nod, but then say, “Yes, Sir,” since he can’t see me.
“Good boy. Oh, and if you have any allergies or foods you don’t like, text them to me.”
“I will,” I say, nerves returning. “Wait. Are you sure no one will find out about this? We’ll be okay?”
“You want to keep me your dirty little secret?” he asks playfully.
“Youaremy dirty little secret.”
“Yeah, I guess I am. I’ll be careful. I promise. Good night, James. Ten thirty at the latest.”
“Good night, Sir.”
As soon as I end the call, I edit the contact, putting in DLS—dirty little secret—for his name. No one will know what that means except me, and there’s something unexpectedly exciting about that. I’ve spent so much of my life following the rules, always trying to do the right thing, needing to be perfect to prove that I belong, yes, but also just to survive. Having Colton as my secret, doing something I know I shouldn’t, it’s a rush I didn’t know I needed. One I’m not proud of, but there all the same.
I plug my cell in to charge, brush my teeth, turn out the lights, then go to bed.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
James
Class is differentwith Colton the following Wednesday. The whole time, I can’t stop thinking about my dirty little secret being in the room with me. The man who sneaks lunch into my room daily and talks to me each night. The one who has complete control over when and how I come, even though he’s not going to touch me.
I never expected the power I would feel in that. Maybe it doesn’t make sense to feel powerful that someone else is making decisions for you, but again, knowing that he can only do it because I grant him the control changes everything for me. As a child, I had no say; now, even when I’m listening to what Colton tells me to do, I still have a say. There’s something electrifying about that. It frees me from the bounds I’ve been in my whole life.
I always thought it was just the sex that I liked about this lifestyle, but though I like the sex, this feeds me in a different way.
But I do miss the sex. Sir hasn’t let me come yet, and it’s killing me, something I think he enjoys.
