TALIA
After a marathon of morning gymnastics, I open my eyes, catching my breath to look over at him. “Morning to you, too.”
He chuckles and kisses my lips. “And to you, my love.”
I whisper, “I love you so much, Rafe.”
Yesterday was hard on us, and I’m sure it was hard on our mates. Uncertainty filled in cracks we didn’t know we had, and it pushed against the foundations we’d been building. I won’t take anything back, but I wish I’d handled myself better. The four of us share common dents and dings, and our disparate manners of handling crises impeded our better judgment.
It almost destroyed us.
“I really do love you, Blade,” he murmurs.
That’s the first time he’s called me Blade since the incident, and it warms my heart. I was worried by the lack of nicknames—he’s made it clear he names those he’s fond of, even as friends. Usingmy name showed distance. But I don’t blame him for being jumpy as a rabbit about the whole thing.
I wish I could unlock the rest of what’s scarred him, but the cat shut off the pipeline last night. She re-built the walls when her fur got ruffled, and it locked him down, too. Taurus should have kept his big mouth shut. My instincts tell me terrible stuff is hiding in their secret corner, and if we’re going to get things out in the open, I’d prefer it not to be bit by bit.
That might actually tear us apart, but I can’t say that right now; it’s too raw.
However, yesterday I learned something important. Deli’s not only a powerful sorceress, but she’s a gifted empath with skills she doesn’t even know she’s using. She thinks it’s all her magick, but let me tell you: I’ve never evenheardof anything like what she’s done to them. There are impenetrable barriers built around specific people, places, and things that reach into multiple areas of emotions and consciousness in a way that’s like she’s encoded their psyche.
I’m not sure that the stoat knows what she’s done; only that she protects them. It must take an incredible toll on her energy and her powers, but the bird never seems to show that she’s run down or tired unless she’s—holy hell.
I know one of her secrets now.
The toll of doing that shit only affects her when she gets sad or upset—not angry. When she’s down, the weight of all the emotions she’s holding back crashes into her and drags her under. That would explain the hiding, and the small, the quiet thing that worries the hell out of Taurus when she does it. She can’t hold it all if she’s not creating external emotions. If shegoes internal, it’s a struggle. That little discovery does me not a damn bit of good, given that I’m here with my husband, who wouldn’t want to hear that I may have figured out how to bust through their hiding place.
I run my fingers over the bite mark on my neck. Opening my eyes for the first time since I awakened, I see in shadows and heat. Sighing, I feel the disappointment run through me because I know that’s my snake and not real vision.
Damn… I hoped some of that magickal blood stuff would fix this.
“You’re beautiful, you know,” I whisper even though I can’t see him to validate that statement.
“I felt that sadness,” he murmurs. “What’s wrong?”
“Don’t be upset, love. I expected the blood sharing might fix this, but it didn’t. But it’s okay; I’m getting fixed today, right? You’re going to help me get this taken care of. I won’t run into walls or get killed when I can at least see shadows.”
Rafe cups my cheek, his voice soft with emotion. “I know you’ll get fixed, and I can tell that you’re not in pain. I’m still sad that it happened, especially because ofwhyit happened. I can’t stand knowing you’re injured because ofmyfailings.”
I’m justified in my feelings, but he doesn’t deserve this kind of guilt. “I won’t have you sad about this. We made progress, damn it. I know you love me now, and it was worth my eyes.” That’s a more fervent declaration than I feel, but he’ll never open up to me fully if he feels responsible for damaging me. “You said last night that you had an idea. What was it?”
“I don’t think it will work now. I also expected that sharing blood would help you. My primary said it helped your mate once, but he connects to her more deeply than I think he knows. It might be the wee one, too, but we can’t access that, and even if we could, neither of us knows how to control the well in the cat. She’s been holding back way more than even I knew.”
The spectacle yesterday certainly confirms that assumption.
“She said it’s been a while since you shared blood.” His expression flickers, and I scent something off about him. Something bad happened the last time they shared blood, by the fear in it. I don’t know what, but he’s fighting like hell to cover his reaction.
What the Christ did those idiots they mated with do to them?
The longer I know them both, the closer I get to the truth. Unfortunately, that also leads to more worry that when I find out, I’m going to murder someone in the messiest way possible—not to mention what Taurus is going to do.
“It’s been a minute. I don’t know how much I absorb, anyway. I have a little access, which is why I can access her circle and the tiger.”
“This shit is way out of my purview, so I don’t know what to tell you. You could drive me to the Company, I suppose. I’m sure they’ve got something heinous to stick in my eye to make me see again.”
His expression is priceless. “Thanks ever so for the imagery, but I’ll pass on entering the gates to a place that I fought like hell to get out of.”
“Damn, Mikhail will have a litter of hellhounds when he’s finds out what I did. Their labs are good for flesh regeneration, or I’d be a lot less pretty right now, but I don’t know if they have a solution for this.”
