I love this place; it’s home.
Memories of the day he led me outside to show me another extravagant present flood back. Most people don’t consider a pool, hot tub, waterfall, patio, framed by a tropical flower and herb garden, a gift. I nearly hyperventilated when I saw it—it was so beautiful and peaceful. He wanted to make me smile. I did when he showed me, but that was a month and a lifetime full of heartache ago, it seems. All the recent drama is the reason for my current bout of insomnia.
Apperating down here to walk in the nighttime air and feel nature was purposeful. I’m trying in vain to find my chi. It seems a hopeless quest because I know what the problem is. The problem is that despite all the wonderful things that we did tonight, there’s a big gaping wound that I’m locking up. Even my talents as a healer can’t touch that because it’s emotional. No magick in the world can pop it off.
It takes work, and I haven’t had the time to do that work. I don’t know when I will.
My thoughts carry me to the edge of the cliffs beyond our backyard, and I look out into the ocean in the distance. The home Taurus built us sits on the bluffs above the beach. I love everything about it: how the sea breeze drifts over the gardens, the salty air, and the powdery white beach below. I ponder for a moment, getting the urge to go down and walk in the surf. I connect with the calming water and listen to the singing. I don’t want to deal with the long and ornate staircase set into the cliff face, though.
Biting my lip, I think. I could do this; I can float heavy stuff now with little strain. I should be able to float myself down. It’d be neat, and new talents always cheer me up. I take a deep breathand curl my toes around the edge as I look out at the ocean. I don’t look down, because this kitty is terrified of heights and I’d fall ass over end off the damned cliff.
I can do this; I believe in myself.
Repeating it over and over in my mind, I try to force myself to believe in the words. I’m about to step off when a powerful tug on the gown pulls me back. It startles me, and I whip around—claws out—prepared to defend myself.
I’m not sure why, though it’s probably my training. Only my family even knows where this place is. I set up tight wards similar to the ones at the Maison, and no one gets past the Sphinx spell on the gates. I have to give specific instructions to allow our delivery meals to get through, and that is no picnic.
Aradia is sitting on her haunches looking at me, and I sigh in relief. The pointies slip back in, and one hand rubs over my tummy. Looking down at her, I feel the Beast growling back and forth with her, translating for me that the tiger felt me getting ready to do something stupid and will stop me.
Sighing, I make a face. It’s mighty useful that my inner beast can talk to Aradia, but it’s super bizarre to have her translate. This is from someone who’s used to a separate entity inside arguing with her, so mull on that. She reminds me I can just apparate if I’m being lazy and that Aradia insists on coming if I do because she doesn’t trust me to behave like I’m sane tonight.
Have you ever tried to smack two inner voices? It doesn’t work well.
Instead, I glare at the tiger. Aradia blinks up at me with big blue eyes and nuzzles my hand. That big cheater. Everyone I know is a cheater.
Huffing, I lay my palm on her head, scratching her ears as we shimmer, sparkle, and fade down onto the sand. I stop and inhale again; the sense of smell the Beast gives me is amazing. Delicious smells tickle and wend through me like fine wine, coating me in this pleasurable tingle, and I try to revel in each pleasurable sensation I can. Conversely, the bad ones make me super barfy—and that’s never cool.
You've gotta take the good with the bad, right?
Aradia tugs on my gown again and nudges me towards the surf. She loves to run in it, and I feel her excitement at being down here again. I follow her with a fond expression, lifting the long skirt up so I splash in the warm waves. I gaze up into the sky, bathing in the moonlight as the singing fills my ears. Breathing in, I look for the center again. My eyes slip closed as the rhythm of nature flows around me and soothes me.
~She walks in beauty, like the night. ~?1
The husky drawl echoes in my head, and my brow furrows as I send out feelers, searching around me for the source. I locate him looking down on my silhouette. He’s a voyeur to my aimless pondering, dressed only in silk pajama pants. His platinum and black-tipped spikes shine in the faint light as I gaze upwards. His form dissipates when our eyes meet, and a pair of hands cups my shoulders.
~Since when do you quote Byron, you fiend? ~ I tease him, leaning back against his broad chest with a sigh.
~I call them like I see them, love. Cloudless climes and starry skies notwithstanding. ~He gestures outward, and I chuckle throatily, eyes closing as I let his warmth seep into me. His armswrap around me, hands rubbing over my tummy, and he nuzzles my ear with a soft growl.
My lips quirk up a bit; I can’t help it. As morose as I can get, he always makes me smile. I feel him rummaging around inside me with his mind, trying to be sneaky. I also feel the tiny mental smack he gets and the chuckle that rumbles out of him.
~Snippy little chit. ~He murmurs, and I feel his cheerful smile.
Reaching inside him, I connect us, sighing and enjoying how we mesh inside. My eyes slip half-closed and the soft purr rumbles out as we meld together in silence for a few moments. Aradia nuzzles my hand, and it snaps me back to attention. I turn, looking up and kissing his jaw.~Thanks for finding me, baby. ~
He rumbles.~Never been able to hide from me yet, don’t see it happening. ~
~That’s not what I meant. ~
His voice is even lower, and his arms tighten more around my abdomen as he says,~I know. ~
There it is.
It was hanging out where I could have seen it all along—my chi. Everything in me is balanced and centered in the blink of an eye as we stare out into the water as one, the calming sound of the ocean and his presence washing away all my troubles with the receding tide.
It’s always him and I’ll be grateful for it for the rest of my life.
The Blade Needs Repair
