“I won’t deny I was attracted to Taurus, love. I could be attracted to anyone: him, birds on the telly, gits in the park. I expected nothing to come of it. As for Wilde, he was a sodding wanker, and if he weren’t dead, I’d beat him there at this point.”
I wonder for a moment why the coyote or the in-laws haven’t gotten mentioned in this whole tirade. Her point would be better illustrated with Alistair. Losing him to get rid of Rhea tore me apart. If he came back—without her—and tried to make amends, it would be far more dangerous than whatever the corpse whisperer brings back.
Not only that, but her attraction, seduction, and declared love formyprimary isn’t being mentioned. Talia hasn’t said a word about how she lusts after someone else and wants to be with her. There’s been no consideration of what this will do to that very fragile part of the self-professed panther in question when she dumps her, so I have to let go of the bird. That thin little eggshell inside of my primary will never heal again, that I guarantee. They’ll be lucky if they can be in the same room once she guts her insides. I can’t say anything about it because I know what’s going on inside the cat. I don’t want to step into a colossal mess that is not mine to mediate.
Christ, we’re so royally fucked here.
“What you don’t understand is that it’s not about Taurus. It’s about you and me.”
Is it? I can’t imagine how it could be as I do every sodding thing you want, give you everything you want, and worship you. I’ve offered to decimate myself and my primary to make her happy, but this is about something I’m not giving her.
“I understand that’s how you feel.”
“I think if I trusted your love for me, then I wouldn’t feel so set aside when you and Taurus are together. I know it hurts you because I’m more trusting of Deli.”
Damn right, it does.
She’s been with you negative two seconds and she’s trustworthy—never mind thatshestill has several people she has loyalties to, plus another mate or two. She has to keep all of them happy and out of her pants, but me? I’m a sneaky ass liar.
“I don’t know how to explain to you how much I love you so it will sink in. I don’t know how to make you trust me, and I wonder if it’s because of Wilde. I wonder if you doubt things I tell you or do for you because he hurt you. That’s something I cannot control or fix.”
“It may be. Maybe it’s hard for me to trust because we happenedsofast. We’ve had to deal with so many things, including Wilde’s death and lingering in-law issues. Your insecurity and my doubts have made it a hell of a ride without the respite that Taurus and Deli had.”
Respite? Is she kidding?
Those two have had people pounding at them since day one. She has no idea how much flak the cat takes or how many peopleshe fends off because that’s her problem, not theirs. She keeps the masses at bay, the community happy, and takes everyone’s woes on herself. It’s her choice, but respite? She hasn’t had that in a long time. Taurus is the safest place she knows. That’s where she’s going to hide, even as we speak.
“I almost died for you. You’ve been my whole bloody world. I take care of you when you’re hurt. I have barely seen anyone but you outside of the funeral and a few unannounced visits. The cat’s been handling all the crowds herself.”
“I know.”
I close my eyes, trying not to lose my temper. I almost never lose my temper, but I might today. She knows all these things, but she still did this? She’s still planning on ripping my mate apart?
What the actual fuck is wrong with her?
“Do you want him more than me?”
“That’s ranking loved ones. I promise you I no longer rank or prioritize the people I love in that way.” There are shades of mates past there, and I will not let her force me into that box. I pull her hand to my lips. “You’re my wife—that means something sacred.”
She yanks her hand back and snarls, “No, it’snotlike ranking mates, because if you wouldratherbe with Taurus all the time then you fuckingwillbe.”
“I didn’t say that, and I don’t.”
“If you want him—oh.” She murmurs, “You know, that’s the first time you’ve called me your wife.”
She opens her mouth and then closes it. “You’re right. I held that back from you out of my fear. That was wrong of me.”
“We’ve been missing a lot of things out of fear. For you, it’s because of Wilde. For me, it’s because of the lot of them: Rhea, Alistair, Wilde, and Sari. They all took an enormous chunk out of me. I don’t think I’ve been holding back because I thought I was showing you what you meant to me. If you felt like I wasn’t, maybe I was holding things back without realizing it.”
Her gaze shifts out into space, and she tilts her head. “When Damien made me the rings, it was with the intention to be your wife. I never told you, and I don’t know why. I know Wilde damaged me more than I thought he could, I think.”
“I could say the same about my other mates. Wilde did more than anyone, but you know how he works.”
“I said my goodbyes to Wilde at the funeral. If he returns in some half-assed mystical event or even through plain old deception, I’ll have nothing to do with him. Hopefully, my lack of communication with his primary afterward has given him that message.”
“I doubt it did. I know something is going on there and the coyote’s insistence on involving my woman and her powers makes me think she’s going to pull something crazy. She’ll think his return will trigger such relief and happiness that no one cares they pulled a hoax on the lot of us.”
“In my experience, people like the gnome and Wilde see themselves in every situation, with all things revolving around them. When it doesn’t, they look for a better game. While subtlety isn’tyourstrong suit, Sari gets all the little snubs. She even gets some she imagines I don’t even throw at her.”
