“Why are you insisting on being unusually dense? We both know you’re awake, and I don’t see why you’re having such a problem with my speaking.”
“Because lizards don’t talk. It must be a brain tumor.”
“I am not a lizard!” my lizard yelled, stamping its paw.
“Then I’ll ask again, what are you?”
“You tell me? What is the word for a majestic creature with mighty wings that can soar in the sky?”
“A bird?”
“It’s like you want me to eat you.”
“I don’t know what you are. I mean, the only flying reptiles I know of are dragons, but they don’t exist.”
“Do these dragons sometimes breathe fire or ice and have vast hoards of wealth?”
“Yeah.”
“So there is a word for my kind.” Tigger puffed his chest and tilted his head. “Rejoice, my human servant, for you are in the presence of a great and mighty dragon.”
At his declaration, I couldn’t help myself. I laughed. Laughed so hard I almost peed my pineapple pajama bottoms.
And in the process insulted my pet.
Chapter Six
Iolana laughed.
My servant dared to mock my greatness.
Giggled as if I’d told the greatest joke.
Intolerable!
“Silence, woman!” I roared, but given my small lungs, it emerged as a high-pitched squeak.
“I can’t,” Iolana chortled. “I mean, really, a dragon? Could you have chosen anything more ridiculous?”
“I fail to see the amusement,” was my cold reply.
“Well, for one, you’re the size of a squirrel, and you don’t have wings.”
“I will, soon as I’ve shed my skin a few more times. And when I get my ability?—”
“You’ll what, roast me like a marshmallow?” She smirked.
“If you’re so convinced I’m not a dragon, then pray tell, what am I? And do not say lizard. It’s an insult,” I spat.
“Well, you’re obviously some kind of reptile, although I’ve never heard of one that can speak. Maybe Tutu is right, and you’re actually a person who’s been cursed by a witch. If I give you a kiss, will you return to your normal human self?”
“As if I’d want to be human,” I retorted with a sneer. “Puny weaklings, good for nothing.”
“You know, you really might want to rethink insulting the human who’s been caring for and feeding you.”
“That is your job.”
“Excuse me?”
