The three dots appear. Disappear. Appear again.
JUSTIN
Yeah. What about him?
CASPIAN
Is he still a friend of yours?
JUSTIN
Not really. We drifted. Why?
My fingers hover. I need answers, not gossip—and definitely not atAntonio’s expense.
CASPIAN
Did he ever mess with people?
The pause this time is longer.
JUSTIN
There was some kid he used to bully, yeah.
JUSTIN
It felt almost like an obsession. Idk, it was a long time ago.
My jaw tightens until it aches.
JUSTIN
TBH, I don’t like thinking about high school. Not proud of who I
was back then.
I exhale slowly.
CASPIAN
Hope your kid’s ear feels better. Try to get some sleep.
Justin’s honesty surprises me. What he said about Ryan doesn’t. Was Antonio bullied at school? A string of curses escapes me when I imagine him walking along school corridors, small and terrified, trying to be invisible. My heart’s pounding when I try to come to grips with this new reality.
Then the next horror hits, and my hands clench into fists. All this time, Antonio has assumed I’m Ryan’s friend. In the car, he didn’t ask me if I knew Ryan. His words were, “So you’re not friends with him.”
That puts every goddamn encounter we’ve had into a new perspective. The hostility. The mixed signals. The vulnerability.
I wish I had known what was going on. I wish I had seen him.
I see him now.
I see him, and I’ll keep doing everything I can to make him feel safe.
Like not asking him out when the trauma is too close to the surface.
That took all my willpower. Not pulling him into my arms, not kissing away the tears he tried so hard to hide, not telling him how brave and good he was—I was honestly worried for a second, right before he got out of the car, that I would lose it. His demeanor was so soft, and the way he looked at me from under his lashes, breath hitching, told me he would’ve let me.
