To Foreigner’s “I Want To Know What Love Is.”
Caspian lets it play even though he looks like he’s going to combust. I’m right there behind him, ready to burst into flames.
So. He listens to love songs. The kind that rot your teeth.
I try not to read too much into it. I fail . Of course I read too much into it. I read the footnotes and the bibliography and all the acknowledgements at the back.
“I like ‘90s music,” I say before the excruciating silence kills us both.
“Really?”
“Haddaway and Ace of Base are my favorites.”
“I’m intrigued.”
He pulls into my parents’ driveway and turns toward me. He studies my face, his hazel eyes searching for something.
I send a frantic request to the universe.
Ask me out. Ask for my number again. I’ll say yes.
“Take care, Antonio.”
What? Something in me shatters. Take care means goodbye.
He’s—oh. This was it. I was stupid to expect anything else. He asked for my number once already, and I told him I’d scribble it on his ego.
I guess this was just a random act of kindness for him.
I fumble for the door handle, praying that the tears wait until I’m inside.
“You too. Take care. And—thank you.”
He opens his mouth, but decides against whatever it was he was about tosay.
I hurry inside to the safety of home.
I don’t want to take care.
I want Caspian.
CHAPTER 30 – CASPIAN
Adrenaline’s keeping me wired. Around 2 a.m. I give up on rest and reach formy phone.
When I see that Justin Clancy is online, I text him. He played wide receiver on Baywood High’s football team. He was good on the field, loud off it. I’ve heard he’s mellowed since he got married and became a dad, but I haven’t kept in touch. When Xaden was outed, Justin gave him hell. He was the worst of them. That memory alone is usually enough to stop me from reaching out, but Justin used to hang out with Ryan. Maybe he knows something.
CASPIAN
What are you doing awake?
JUSTIN
June has an ear infection. What’s your excuse?
CASPIAN
Remember Ryan Rutherford?
