I’m going out.
CHAPTER 9 – CASPIAN
I knock on Earl’s door an hour before his scheduled Zoom date with Maija.He seems nervous as he ushers me into a floral armchair and disappears intothe kitchen. I look around, taking in the peculiar objects scattered around his living room. There’s a lava lamp humming on the shelf beside a thriving succulent. An ashtray in the shape of a head sits on a side table, though I’msure Earl has never smoked. Grease posters cover every inch of wall space.
I turn my head slightly and let out a yelp. A taxidermy owl with a polka-dobow is perched on the couch, staring at me with dead but oddly judging eyes.
“Oh, you met Bob,” Earl comments as he sets a tea tray on the coffee table.
“Bob is a dead bird?” I ask, immediately regretting the question when awounded look flashes across Earl’s face.
He starts pouring tea into delicate porcelain cups with trembling hands.
“Bob is my companion.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize,” I apologize, taking the cup of tea from him before it’ll slosh over the rim.
“This will be a disaster,” Earl frets, stroking Bob’s wing. “Maija will zoom into my soul and see chaos. She’ll know about the time I ate two cheesecakes in one sitting.”
He sighs theatrically. “In my defense, I was emotionally fragile.DowntonAbbeyseason finale.”
“Well, Zoom can’t access your soul. I don’t think the bandwidth is strong enough.”
“But Maija is,” he whispers darkly. “She’ll find a way.”
It takes us a while to get his old laptop running. Earl clutches Bob like a security blanket, which is alarming, given Bob is likely a chemical hazard.
He informs me that his trackpad is possessed and the Wi-Fi has a degree in psychological warfare.
When the Zoom app opens, he shrieks and catapults Bob across the room.
I catch the owl mid-fall without thinking.
Earl gasps and retrieves Bob immediately. “Zoom is asking me for a name,” he panics . “Why?”
“Just type your name, Earl.”
Soon, Cole’s face appears onscreen. He blinks when he sees Bob, but he doesn’t say anything.
“Cole, you’re in my house,” Earl says, clutching Bob.
“No, Earl,” Cole explains. “I’m in my house. You’re in yours. That’s how Zoom works.”
Earl swivels toward me, forgetting how to blink. “Bob is anxious.”
“What soothes him?” I ask politely, trying to make up for my earlier blunder.
Cole coughs, and I carefully avoid looking at him.
“Nursery rhymes,” Earl says earnestly, “but I’m too shy to perform now.”
He settles Bob carefully into his lap and starts practicing smiles.
“This one says come hither. This one says I’m a ten.”
He smolders at his own reflection.
“And this one says I may own an owl but I’m still sensual.”
