All I feel is silent rage.
I wanna join them, and I can’t. I wanna lose myself in Declan…and I can’t. God, I just wanna be happy with the revenge I served cold and let it be enough…but I just fuckingcan’t. I’ve got all the ingredients Malek had to let it go and move on to better things, but I don’t think I can right now. The sound of hungry demon bellies overpowers everything else. It’s just a roar in my head that I truly believe will make me crazy.
Or…well…crazier.
I need an outlet, and the only one that satisfies me right now…is blood. I guess this is how it starts. I’ve crossed over some unspoken line, and now there’s no going back. Now it just feels like something I have to do.
For my mother. For Ruth. For my Daddy. For every fucking girl I pulled out of that Hell…and for the ones that never left.
For me.
I pulled my phone from my back pocket and shot off a text.
Me: waiting by the car.
I watched Dec read it, stare at it longer than I thought he would…and then pull my brother aside. They’re gonna continue to worry about me until I show signs of life. I really thought I’d be safe from what everybody in that whore house would go through after we burned it to shit…or at least have more than afew hoursbefore it fucking started sinking its claws into me.
Something like adrenaline is writhing under my skin.
I’m so fucking angry. Why? Why do I wanna rip—
“Gorgeous day out, isn’t it? Almost feels like spring!”
I nearly jumped out of my skin, turning to meet the eyes of a pretty nurse that just wanted to scoot past me to go eat her lunch in the courtyard.
“Blow that sunshine out yourass, NurseJoy.”
She looked at me like I’d just slapped her in the face. I guess I did. I dunno why I fucking said it. I don’t even know where itcamefrom. I have no idea what her nameactuallyis. Embarrassed, I turned and walked as fast as I could, away from that door and down the hall to the parking lot.
I spent the next three days watchingThe Wizard of Ozon repeat, some trash reality T.V., and did a paint-by-numbers project, purposely switching the colors because…nobody’s gonna tell me what the fuck to do. Declan has been a saint, keeping my Bugles bottomless, cleaning up after me, and not hovering when I bother to leave the couch. I bit the pointy tip of said Bugle off my finger while I watched Dorothy slip into oblivion in a field of poppies.
Opiates…that’d be fire right now.
A knock sounded at the door, and Declan trudged through the living room to go answer it. “Don’t answer that. I’m not wearing pants, dude.”
“Baby, you haven’t worn pants in three days. Fix your blanket.”
I did, sitting up straighter while I slid my bun back up to the top of my head. It flopped right back where it came from. “I don’t have makeup on, Declan.”
“Andstillmakin’ my dick hard.”
My head ached from the eye roll. He opened the door, and Seven and Malek walked in, both of them immediately spotting the obvious. I averted my eyes back to the T.V. and bit off another chip.
“The fuck is that smell?” Malek asked, sniffing. “You break down and adopt acator somethin’?”
This bastard.
Seven set bags of takeout on the kitchen counter and I pretended to ignore them both. “Yeah, it…kinda smells like old shit. Like the kind that accidentally leaks out of the people in my basement.”
“Get it all outta your system, asshats,” I grumbled, rolling my eyes while I continued to watch the movie. I made it a point to chew obnoxiously loud. “Rub it in.”
A fresh bottle of Sev’sMalibu shampoolanded in my lap, crushing my bag of chips and I snapped my head up at my stupid brother. “Youneed to rub it in. In yourhair. Under your chicken arms…sure asshitebetween those bratty arsecheeks.” He plopped down so hard on the couch that I popped into the air, and I snarled at him as he stuck a finger in my face. “Is that a wart on your nose?”
“Yeah, well at least it took me a few days to look this bad, fucker. You favor the flying monkeys all on your own.”
“Eh…she’s not wrong,” Sev shrugged, putting away whatever she bought. Naturally, Dec went behind her to correct every misplaced thing.
“What’s eatin’ ya, brat? Besidesfleas.”
