“Go on.” Frown lines appeared on his forehead as he lifted his chin.
“I did go to the casino,” his frown deepened with the flare of his nostrils, but before he could go crazy on my arse, I cut him off, “I didn’t gamble. I know I have no evidence of that but you’re going to have to believe me. I swear to you, as your friend, I didn’t place a bet.” My head shook to help exaggerate my point.
“Then why taunt yourself?”
“I needed to get out of here. My head is a fucking mess, man.” I dropped my arse back on the bed and huffed. “I’m constantly being babysat. I’m treated like a wayward teenager. ‘Don’t go to the casino, Gav. Don’t drink too much, Gav. Don’t screw Nikki, Gav,’even though she fucking throws herself at me.” I met his eyes, “I know what I am, right. I know I’m a fuck up, and I know you could do without that, and if you need me to, then I’ll leave, but you have to let me do this myself.”
“You always were a rule breaker.” Roman said quietly as he pushed off the wall. A smirk broke out on my lips as he took a seat next to me. “I promise I’ll try harder.” I turned my head to him and scanned the defeated look in his eyes.
“I’m trying, I really am. I just need you to trust me.” I breathed, “I wish I could turn back the clock, and wipe everything that I did from time, but I can’t. I can’t take it back.”
When I made that deal with Paisley’s ex-boss to out Roman and Paisley, I was in debt with some bad guys. Drugs debt,gambling debt… it all stacked up, I was in way above my head, I saw no other way out of it all but blackmail. Roman and I were always so close, we did everything together, so when Paisley showed up, and saw them getting closer and how he looked at her, I knew I’d lose him to her. I felt like I was being left behind, stupid, I know, but I couldn’t help how I felt, and for me that was all Paisley’s fault. But they forgave me. They helped me get back on my feet, and I should respect that more, more than I do anyway.Not everyone would do that.
“Gav. I brought you here because you’re one of my closest friends, other than Rhys of course. I don’t want to babysit you. I thought by taking you out of the UK it would help with your demons, but now I can see that without addressing it properly, it’s never going to get better.” I nodded, but I didn’t stop him, “So, I promise, no more judgement, and I’ll trust you if you promise to be upfront with me. You want to go to a casino, we go together.”
“I don’t want you to feel like you have to do that though.” I replied as my head shook at his option of being by my side.
“I don’t want you to feel like I’m not supporting you either.”He added.
“But what happens when the baby comes, Rome? You can’t just drop everything for me.” I met his eyes again, “I know that now, just for the record.” I grinned.
He smirked, “If not me, then someone can. I know Paisley would agree.” I nodded again. I felt like one of those stupid, fucking nodding dogs you find in a car.
“But why? After everything, why would she do that for me?”
“Because even though you’re a bit of twat, she cares about you. I’ll have a word with Rhys and the other guys. I don’t want you sneaking around. We’re in this together.”
“Fine.” I pushed up from the bed, went to the chest of drawers, and pulled out a T-shirt to slip on.
“I’m glad we had this talk.” Roman muttered from behind me as I turned around. “I just care. You’ll always be the brother I never had.”
“And you’ll always mean more to me than the family I have.” We clapped hands in a handshake, then he pulled me against him in a hug. He pulled back, smiled and without any more words, he left my room. I couldn’t blame him for being worried about me after the catastrophic fallout last time, which ended up with Roman punching me. And although he’s quite lean, he really does pack a mean punch. Time to man up, and to sort my fucking life out.
Everyone was already in the kitchen once I’d ambled downstairs to grab some food. It didn’t surprise me; it was almost eleven. “Any food going? I’m fucking starving.” My hand went to my stomach as it growled on cue. There were some croissants on the side, and other pastries.Fuck that shit.I needed sausage, bacon and eggs. I needed sustenance.
“Do you ever stop eating, Gav?” Paisley asked as she made sure she had everything in her bag.
“I’m a growing lad.” I grinned as I found the bread and took out two slices, dropped them into the toaster and pushed the lever down, then I got the cheese from the fridge and sliced some off the end. I turned around and pressed my back to the counter, Nikki was at the table with a coffee in her hand, and was flicking through a girly mag. She was unusually quiet this morning.
“What’s up with you today, smiler?” From her magazine, she lifted her hand, her long, red painted, nailed middle finger edged skyward. She didn’t even have the courtesy to glance at me; instead, she kept her gaze on what was in front of her. My toast popped, I shook my head and turned back around.Moody bitch. I placed the sliced cheese on my toast and slapped it under the grill. Couldn’t beat good old cheese on toast. Well, if there wasn’t bacon on offer anyway.
“So how much did you lose at the casino?” I closed the door to the grill and turned back, my light mood turned sour quickly.
“Ah, she speaks.” I smirked as our gazes met. “For your information, I didn’t. Not that it’s any of your business.”
I checked on my cheese under the grill and watched it gradually begin to bubble on top of my toast. Once it had melted nicely, I pulled it out and added some pepper, then cut it in half. I took a bite from the corner as Roman came in with Rhys. Rhys nodded my way before he grabbed their cases, as he left the room, Roman shook my hand, and Paisley hugged me briefly.
“Enjoy.” I said as I released her.
“Oh, we intend to.” Roman smiled wickedly.
“I definitely won’t miss you two squabbling, do me a favour though…" Paisley muttered, I lifted my chin at her, “sort your shit out before we get back.”She then went over to Nikki. I grabbed my plate with my breakfast on and took it outside onto the patio. I heard Nikki talking business to Roman, going over a few things and then they were gone. The chatter in the house died a sudden death, and I enjoyed the peace while I ate.Bliss.
After Roman and Paisley had left, the house was quiet. I wasn’t used to it. Nikki had nothing to shout at, no orders at security like normal. As I came downstairs later, I heard voices coming from the kitchen. I knew one was Nikki’s. I could pick her voice out of a crowd. Probably because she’s shouted my name more than a few times, and not just in anger either, some of those times had been in unadulterated pleasure. I smiled at my own dirty thoughts - I just couldn’t help myself.
As I entered the kitchen, I found her talking with one of the security guys. I nodded his way and rounded the table to grab a Coke from the fridge. I would’ve liked to say I remembered his name, but I didn’t. He was new, hired firstly for the wedding, but Rhys wanted to keep him on.
He got up from the chair and walked out. “So, were you telling the truth?” Nikki asked as she reminded me of the very short conversation from earlier.
