Her head tilted at me, “I’d rather fight with you as a friend than lose you altogether.” A small smile tugged at my lips for the first time in two days. “You ever tell anyone I said that and I’ll chop your balls off.”
“Have a beer with me?” I ask her, smiling.
“And anyway, you were right, I can do so much better than you.” I frowned at her words as a know-it-all grin stretched wide across her face, even her eyes smiled. I’ve never heard Nikki give a compliment, out unless it’s been to Paisley, or should I say I’ve never heard one come my way. I’m so going to play on this.
“Have a beer with me?” I repeated.
“I can’t I’m driving.”
“So, stay here or get a cab, come get your car tomorrow.”
Fuck the beer, I need something stronger. I headed to the unit to grab a bottle of whisky and grabbed two short tumblers. I placed them down on the table and smiled wickedly. “You up for it?”
Her eyes roamed my face as she twisted her lips to the side, she stared for a beat then nodded. “Just the one.”
“Of course. I don’t expect to open two bottles.”
Her eyes narrowed as she tilted her head, “One glass, Gav.” Twisting the cap off, I poured the whisky in each glass and lifted mine in the air, she sighed as her head shook, but lifted hers to mine anyway and clinked. “I hope you sort it, Gav.”
“Thanks. That means a lot.” I knocked mine back and Nik did the same.As we drank our shot, my arm flung around her shoulder, and I pulled her to me for a hug.
“Another?” I asked and took my arm from her. She held her glass out for me and agreed. I poured a double into her glass and sat back. I didn’t know what to do, and I definitely didn’t have anything to say, so I just drank. In the morning I’d try and sort this shit out.
When I got up though things weren’t any better. Other than another bad head, when the door knocked, I knew things were about to get worse.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Karen
Thoughts of Gav engulfed me the moment my tear-filled eyes opened this morning. I thought I’d cried all my tears yesterday, obviously the well had refilled ready for another day. The sound of his voice came back to me when I heard him talking to Holly over the speaker, he sounded so pained, but I couldn’t bring myself to see him. My heart hurt enough, but the fact that he came here had me at least a little hopeful. I’m grateful to Holly for looking after me like that, but I wished she’d asked first if I even wanted to see him. It was probably for the best because the guy had a way of making me weak.
It took me an age to get out of my apartment this morning, and once I had I sat in the car for a while too, I wondered if I was doing the right thing. I made my feet move and now, here I am stood in front of his door, I felt sick. I didn’t know what to say when I saw him or even what to think, but I was here. I was ready to sort this crap out. Whatever he decided I’d get through,either we’d do it together, or I’d do this on my own. But I needed to prepare.
I took a deep breath in and knocked on the door. When it opened though, I wasn’t prepared for what I saw.
All my hope crumbled to pieces.
Nikki looked half asleep and wore one of Gav’s shirts. I couldn’t hide the gasp that fell from my lips either. Her low lidded eyes went wide as she looked up, “N…Nikki. What…” The question got lost in a sea of confusion and I didn’t know what to say. I was speechless.
“Oh fuck, K…Karen. Hiii…” Nikki stammered.
“Who is it?” Nikki moved to the side and pressed her back to the door. Gav appeared at the end of the hall pulling his own shirt over his head. His head popped through the neck and his eyes went wide. “Shit! K?”
I felt sick. I’m sure it was nothing to do with the baby this time. Saliva collected in my mouth. I had to keep swallowing. I couldn’t breathe. None of us spoke, we just looked at each other, while at the same time, my heart shattered into little pieces. As I backed away slowly, Gav rushed past Nikki and out of the door toward me. “K, it’s not what you think, I swear!” I heard what he said, and if I was thinking rationally, then I’d stop to re-assess the situation, but I wasn’t. I couldn’t. My head was all over the place. Tears spilt from my eyes as I backed into the wall. “K, please wait, I can explain.” He appealed, but it wasn’t any use. I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t want to be near him right now. My head shook as I spun around and burst through the door. I ran the down the hall, paused at the security door to get it open and pushed through that one too. I didn’t stop until I was in the safe confines of my car, with the doors locked.
My breaths came in short spurts and my chest felt tight. I just needed to get home. My fingers gripped my keys, but they were shaking so much I couldn’t get them in the ignition. “Oh, comeon,” like a jigsaw, the key finally slid into place and turned but the engine just clicked. “Please start.” I urged my old friend as Gav appeared at the front door, his hands were in his hair as he hung his head. I tried again, praying it would start, and as the engine came to life I sighed with relief and skidded out of there. It seemed someone up there was listening to my pleas.
Numb. I felt numb. In a catatonic like state. My heart was telling me one thing, but my head told me another, who did I listen to? Tears continued to fall from my eyes, I had to keep swiping at them to see the road. My head had told me to run since I’d met him, and I hadn’t listened. As ever, I’d followed my heart. My head was just a nagging bitch, but it seems like I was wrong.
My eyes blurred.
How could he do this to me?Was all I could ask myself as I made it home.
Holly had left for work by the time I’d returned. I mean, I loved her like a sister, but I was so glad she wasn’t here to see me like this. I threw myself on the couch and bawled into a throw cushion.
I had no idea what to do anymore. My head hurt and my eyes stung from all the crying. But my heart hurt more, along with my pride. I still didn’t want to believe that he’d lied to me all this time, but it was hard not to come to that conclusion.
Had he played me all this time? I found it hard to believe that he hadn’t.
