“You deserve better than this.” I muttered. I knew that, and so did she, but we didn’t stop.
“You’re too hard on yourself.” She whispered back.
I pressed a firm kiss to her head, breathed in the strawberry scent of her hair, then sat back up. I turned my back, I had to, and quickly pulled on my clothes. I glanced back at her as she met my gaze full-on, her lips were still pressed together in thatthin, disapproving line. With a wink and a small smile fixed on my lips, I left her bedroom and made my way to my own on the other side of the house.
As I stalled in the hallway, I looked out into the LA night through the small window; the stars littered the dark blue sky as I scoured the grounds. I couldn’t see any press from here, but as I looked down, a smile made its way to my lips when I saw Roman with Paisley in his arms, I assumed it was to have a break from all the guests inside the marquee. As he kissed her lovingly, I stepped back from the window and carried on towards my bedroom.
I’d soon pushed through the door, and stripped back out of my shirt and trousers as I entered the bathroom. I turned on the shower, waited a moment for it to warm up then stepped inside. I washed away the scent of Nikki and within minutes, I was out and had a towel wrapped around my hips. I rubbed my hair with another towel and went into the bedroom and to my wardrobe. Pulling out a Ralph Lauren shirt, I paired it with some black jeans and quickly dressed. There was only one place I was going right now. I shouldn’t, but I needed it. Once dressed, I ran my fingers through my hair and added some wax, then splashed some aftershave on, and I was ready.
I slipped out of the door and around the other end of the grounds as I made my way to the security staff watching the gate. Walsh hadn’t been with us long, so he had no idea of my past and my addictions.
“Hey.” I said as I kept an eye out around me, “I need you to take me somewhere.”
Walsh looked at me, I was sure he was trying to work out if he was allowed or not. “I’ll have to pass it by Rhys, he said we had to stay here.” he drawled in his American accent.
“You don’t need to ask Rhys. It’s only twenty minutes, you can be back before he’s even realised that you’ve gone.” Hesighed as he looked at the car and then around him again. “I’m Roman’s best friend, it’s fine.”
His lips pursed as he mulled over whether he should then his eyes rolled, “Get in. But if I get in trouble, I’m taking you down with me.”
“You got it.”
I slipped into the back as Walsh got in the driver’s seat, and I informed him of my destination. As we passed through the automatic gates, there were still some photographers hanging around, and as I looked between them through the tinted glass of the Mercedes, there she was again. The timid photographer from earlier, sitting on the ground and watching as the car passed her by.
CHAPTER FOUR
Nikki
As I stepped up to the window, I wrapped myself in a sheet and parted the slats of the blinds with my fingers to peer out of the narrow gap. The coloured flashing lights from the DJ lit up the back garden, but it was the movement at the gate that caught my eye. I knew it was Gav from the way he held his head partially down, the way he kept himself guarded. This time, he was talking to the security detail. I didn’t want to think bad of him, but I couldn’t help it. Gav had been out of control on so many occasions. Sometimes, I hated to admit that I admired his out-of-control behaviour, but at times, he needed to be reined in. Kept on a short leash, because when Gavin Wright got out of control, he did it in spectacular fashion.
The sad thing is I’m supposed to hate him. He had a knack of getting so far under my skin that I shouldn’t want him anywhere near me, and most days I didn’t, but then he gives me a stupid smirk, and I fold inside. He took me to places no other man had. Fuck’s sake. Even now, I could still feel his hands on me, in me, the way he brought me to the edge. I’d like to say I didn’t knowwhy I fell at his feet, but I did know, it was alcohol. It’s both enjoyment and my downfall, because when Gavin is around, and alcohol is involved, everything turns into a game. It always was, and tonight wasn’t any different.
He slapped the guy’s shoulder and climbed into the back seat of the car. I bet if I had three guesses at where he was headed, I’d get it right first time. He’s that predictable.
The blinds made a snapping sound as I released them and whirled away from the window.
I hated that I felt this way about him.
I hated even more that he made me feel this way, when there’s no doubt that he didn’t feel the same for me.
A sigh fell from my lips, and I was irritated with myself. It wasn’t like I didn’t know what he was like. And even more, I knew he was right. We were not good together, not that we’ve tried as a couple, we didn’t have to, I knew in my own mind that we weren’t compatible with each other.But the last thing I was going to do was sit up here and mope around. Not over a dick like Gavin. I wasn’t that woman. I let the sheet drop from my body, and I scraped my hair on the top of my head in a messy bun and waltzed into the bathroom to turn on the shower. The steam rose from the hot water in mere seconds, and I stepped inside, dipping my head to allow the water to run from my neck and down my back. Instantly the tension that whirled around inside me eased, and I quickly washed the parts I needed to and stepped out again, turning off the taps. I went back to the bedroom and dried myself off with a towel, then stepped into fresh underwear and back into my powder blue bridesmaid dress. I loved the colour, and pastels are as close to girly as Paisley would ever get. I took a cleansing wipe and brushed it beneath my eyes, removing the black smudges that lined them, along with any giveaway sign that proved I’d slipped away to have sex. Once they were gone, I topped up my makeupand stepped into my shoes again. With some perfume sprayed around my neck and over my chest, I grabbed my bag.
As I left the bedroom, I closed the door behind me then reached inside my bag to retrieve my phone. A message from Paisley sat on my screen, but I refused to open it. I made my way back downstairs instead, back through the house and out into the marquee.
Considering it was almost midnight, there were still quite a few people around. Then again, though, when it’s an all-expenses paid shindig and free bar kind of party, the cling-ons would always be around. I headed for the bar first, now that my drunken arse had sobered up a bit, and grabbed myself a Baileys from the good-looking barman. I needed something smooth, not like the tequila and vodka from earlier. As he passed it over, I thanked him with a sweet smile, then waltzed away with confidence.
Rhys was the first person I came into contact with. “Have you seen Gav?”He asked nicely. I took a sip of the sweet smooth drink, and licked the Baileys from my lips as I looked up at him. I mean it wasn’t hard for anyone to be taller than my five-foot frame, but Rhys, he was fucking huge. His eyes trained on me, seeking a truth I wasn’t willing to give. “I can’t say I have.”
A smirk tipped his lips up at one side and shook his head, “I saw you earlier with him.”
“Yeah earlier. Not in the last hour though.” I concentrated on the caramel-coloured liquid over the ice in my glass and swirled it around, hypnotised as the ice clinked against the sides.
“He’s gonna hurt you, Nik.” He sighed and looked away, “I don’t want to see that. I know Gav, I’ve known him way too many years to not know that this is what he does.” He placed his hand on top of my glass to stop my movement, “he doesn’t deserve you.”
“You’re right,” I nodded, “but it’s a means to an end.” I smiled brightly. Where does it say that women couldn't use men the way they used us. Then my feelings from earlier washed back over me, I answered my own silent question; because women are full of fucking sentiment. I took his hand from over my glass, “Well, I’m all good, big guy, you don’t have to worry about me.” I reached up and tapped his chest as a smile pulled at my lips, a fake one at that, but never mind. I lifted my glass to my lips and knocked back the Baileys. It went down way too quick, maybe I did need something stronger.
“But I do.” My eyes widened at his statement and a heavy frown settled over my eyes. “I do worry about you.”
“I’m fine.” With a smile fixed to my face, I made the short distance back to the bar and thrust my empty glass back to the barman. “Can I get a Jack Daniels, please.” he nodded and fulfilled my request quickly.I knew Rhys was still behind me, I could sense his looming presence.
