“Oh, Monica!” Mom exclaimed. “How’s everything going?”
“Horribly,” I said. “I told him I had to use the restroom.”
It bothered me that I had to sit through a snooze fest of a date with Roger the Practical while they got to flirt with Jacob. And itreallybothered and embarrassed me that I cared. I needed to get this guy out of my system.
“Sorry you aren’t enjoying your dinner,” Jacob said.
“But goodness knows we are,” Gilda quipped.
“Ain’t that the truth,” Ingrid agreed.
I sighed and turned to go back to my table.
“Where you going?” Mimi asked. “You have to go pretend to use the bathroom.”
Groaning, I whipped back around, head held high, and marched passed their table without a backward glance. I was pretty sure I heard Mimi chuckle.
I took the shortcut back to my table once I finished pretending to use the restroom. By the time Roger was done eating, and he suggested we go, I was more than ready.
Unfortunately, we weren’t going straight home. For some inexplicable reason, he wanted to take me by his place of employment and then his house. Thankfully he didn’t insist we go inside either place. That would have been the final nail in the coffin.
Who was I kidding? The minute I opened the door tonight I knew there was already a final nail in the coffin. But I had to give Mom and the girls some credit. They knew exactly what they were doing. They said Roger would appeal to my practical side. He was everything I should want in a potential date…he had a good job and a nice house. But he was boring as dirt, and I didn’t like how presumptuous he was about sticking his nose in my business.
By the time Rogerdidtake me home, I just wanted to go inside, pour a huge glass of wine, take off my dress, and have a pity party.
“I had a lovely time tonight, Monica.” Roger came around and opened my car door for me. “I hope we can do this again sometime soon.”
Was this guy for real?
As we walked up the front porch, I tried to think of the best way to let him down gently but firmly.
“That’s nice of you, Roger, but I’m not really looking to get in a relationship now.”
“I can wait,” Roger said as he backed me up against my front door.
I prayed like crazy he wouldn’t kiss me.
“It will be a long wait,” I countered back.
He gave me a crooked smile, and I got a flash of yellow teeth encased in thin lips before he leaned down and tried to kiss me.
I turned my head, but I wasn’t quick enough. His lips touched the edge of mine, and I was pretty sure he’d just tried to shove his tongue against my lips. Either that, or his lips had a weird texture to them. Either way, I was totally disgusted. I was about to push him away when my front door opened and there stood Mom, Mimi, Gilda, Ingrid, and Jacob.
“I hope we aren’t interrupting anything,” Jacob said calmly.
But I wasn’t fooled. Even in the dark, emotions I couldn’t positively identify flashed in his eyes.
“As a matter of fact,” Roger blustered, “Monica and I were saying good night and making plans for another date.”
“Really?” Mom asked.
I wiped my mouth and shook my head.
“So if you all will excuse us,” Roger continued, “I’d like to properly kiss my date goodnight.”
Oh, hell no.
“Thank you for a lovely evening, Roger,” I said as I slid in between Gilda and Mimi. “But I’m afraid I can’t see you anymore.”
