“There,” she whispered, her voice barely audible as her eyelids fluttered. “You can go now. Be free. Both of us. Free and…”
And she went. One last exhalation, and she joined her family and her boyfriend and everyone she’d loved and known was dead, even if she’d told herself they weren’t.
I sat there, still holding her hand. Then as I lifted my head, I realized I could still hear shouts and shots and screams. I laid Katie on the floor, picked up the gun and headed into the hall.
Howmany times had I sat in front of the TV, rolling my eyes at the brain-dead characters runningtowardobvious danger? Now I did exactly that and understood why. I heard those shots and those screams and I had to know what was happening.
I got near a hall intersection when the guy who’d showed me the news of the first reported deaths two years ago came barreling around the corner. He skidded to a halt so fast his sneakers squeaked. He stared at me, and there was no sign of recognition because all he saw was the gun. He dropped to his knees and looked up at me, and even then, staring me full in the face, his eyes were so panic-filled that he didn’t recognize me. He just knelt there, his hands raised like a sinner at a revival.
“Please, please, please,” he said. “I won’t hurt you. I won’t hurt anyone. I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t. I need to say good-bye. My mom, my sister, my nephew…please just let me say good-bye. That’s all I’ll do, and then I’ll do it, and if I can’t, I’ll go away. I’ll go far,faraway.”
I lowered the gun, and he fell forward, convulsing in a sob of relief, his whole body quaking, sweat streaming from his face, the hall filling with the stink of it.
“Thank you,” he said. “Oh God, thank you. I know I should do it?—”
“Where did the guns come from?”
He looked up, his eyes finally focusing. “I know you. You?—”
“My friend had this gun. I hear more. Where did they come from?”
He blinked hard, as if shifting his brain out of animal panic mode. Then his gaze went to my yellow sun. “You aren’t… So you don’t know. Okay.” He nodded, then finally stood. “Whenthe black stars had their private counseling session, they gave us guns. Access to them, that is. They told us where we could find them, if we decided we couldn’t go on. Except…” He looked back the way he came. “Not everyone is using theirs to kill themselves first.”
“They’re killing the other black stars?”
He nodded. “They think we should all die. To be safe. They’re killing those who didn’t take the guns.”
Footsteps sounded in the side hall.
“I need to go,” he said quickly. “You should, too.”
I lifted my hand to show my tattoo. “I’m not a threat.”
He shook his head but didn’t argue, just took off. I waited until the footsteps approached the junction.
“I’m armed,” I called. “But I’m not a threat. I’ve got the yellow sun?—”
“And I don’t really give a shit,” said a voice, and a guy my age wheeled around the corner, blood spattered on his shirt, his gun raised. “Kill them all and let God sort them out.”
I dove as he fired. He shot twice, wildly, as if he’d never held a gun before tonight. When he tried for a third shot, the gun only clicked. I ran at him, but didn’t shoot. I couldn’t do that. I smashed the pistol into his temple and he went down. Then I heard running footsteps and more shouts, and I raced down the hall, taking every turn and running as fast as I could, until I saw the security station ahead. I fell against the door, banging my fists on it. When no one answered, I held my wrist up to the camera.
“Yellow sun!” I shouted. “Let me in!”
A guy opened the door. His gray hair had probably been cut military short a couple of years ago, but no one enforced those rules now and it stood on end like porcupine quills.
“Get in,” he said.
I fell through. When I got my balance, I saw a half-dozen military guards watching the monitors. Watching students killing each other.
“You need to get out there,” I said. “You need to stop this.”
The gray-haired guy shrugged. “We didn’t give them the guns.”
“But you need to?—”
“We don’t need to do anything.” He lowered himself into a chair. “You want to, girlie? You go right ahead. Otherwise? Wait it out with us.”
I hesitated. Then I turned away from the monitors and slumped to the floor.
