“Hi,” Janie said, managing a watery smile as tears welled once again.
Hannah kissed her, slower now, less desperate and more intentional. She slid her hands down Janie’s spine and over her hips, as if mapping out her body with loving curiosity. When she cupped Janie’s breast and squeezed, Janie arched into the touch with a gasp.
“Sensitive,” Hannah murmured and did it again. She circled her thumb over Janie’s nipple until Janie was squirming against her.
“Please,” Janie said, not entirely sure what she was asking for but knowing she needed more of Hannah’s touch.
Hannah rolled Janie onto her back and settled above her, propped on one elbow so she could look down at Janie’s face while she continued her exploration. “I can’t believe I almost lost you,” she whispered, her voice catching.
Janie swallowed hard and wrapped her hand around Hannah’s neck. “I almost lost myself. You had no chance.”
“But now I’ve got a second chance.” Hannah grinned and kissed Janie’s nose. “And I’m not going to waste it.”
She traced patterns on Janie’s stomach and beneath her breasts, and Janie’s repressed passions began to unfurl under the attention. The part of her she’d locked away tight, probably since she’d given birth, was finally ready to resurface under Hannah’s gentle and practiced touch.
Hannah rested her hand on Janie’s hip. “Tell me what you need.”
“I need you to touch me,” Janie said, clasping her hand over Hannah’s. “Reallytouch me. Like you mean it.”
“Oh, I mean it.” Hannah’s eyes were dark and intense. “I thought I might never get to touch you again… I’ll show you I mean it.”
She slid her hand over Janie’s panties, and even through the sheer fabric, the touch sent shockwaves through Janie’s system. She hadn’t been touched like this in so long… She hadn’t let herself be touched, hadn’twantedto be touched, and her breathing quickened as the whole situation threatened to overwhelm her.
“Are you okay?” Hannah asked, her hand stilling.
“Don’t stop.” Janie grasped Hannah’s shoulder. “Please don’t stop.”
Hannah hooked her fingers into the waistband of Janie’s underwear and pulled them down, disposing of them swiftly so they were both naked, skin to skin, and the intimacy of it made Janie’s throat tight.
Hannah returned to between Janie’s legs, and with no barrier, her fingers slid through Janie’s wetness with a surenessthat spoke of years of knowing Janie’s body, of understanding without words what she needed.
“God, Janie,” Hannah whispered. “You’re so?—”
Whatever she was going to say was lost when Janie pulled her into a kiss that was more teeth than finesse. All the desperation and need and love she’d been holding back poured out at once, like hot lava from a once-dormant volcano. Hannah responded in kind, her fingers finding their rhythm, her mouth swallowing Janie’s gasps and moans.
But then Hannah slowed down, gentled her touch, and pulled back just enough to look at Janie’s face. “Not like this,” she said. “I don’t want to rush this. I want to see you. I want you to see me.”
She shifted her position, settling more fully between Janie’s legs, and this time when she touched her, she held Janie’s gaze. The eye contact was almost unbearable. The intensity too much. The connection too raw. Janie fought against the tar trying to weigh down her eyelids to close her eyes, to make her hide from the brutal honesty of this moment, but Hannah shook her head.
“Stay with me,” Hannah murmured. “I want to watch you come apart. I want you to see how much I love you while it’s happening.”
Janie’s breath hitched as Hannah’s fingers found that perfect rhythm, that perfect pressure, the combination that Hannah had learned years ago and clearly hadn’t forgotten. But this wasn’t just physical; the way Hannah looked at her, the way her free hand cupped Janie’s face so tenderly, the way she murmured “I love you” over and over like a prayer made all of it incredibly spiritual.
Her pleasure built slowly, a wave gathering force ready to smash her against the shore, and her hot tears streamed down her temples as Hannah circled her thumb over Janie’s clit. Hannah curled inside her just right, keeping her eyes locked on Janie’s with the intensity of knowing her down to her bones.
“Let go,” Hannah whispered. “I’ve got you. Just let go.”
And Janie did. The orgasm crashed over her, releasing notjust the physical sensation but something deeper, like all the tension, fear, and shame of the past months was breaking apart and washing away with the receding tide. She cried out, arching her back, her fingernails digging into Hannah’s shoulders, clutching her close, and through it all, Hannah watched her. Her anchor, her lover, her wife.
When Janie finally came back to herself, her body racked with deep, wrenching sobs that had nothing to do with the pleasure and everything to do with the emotional weight of what had just happened.
Hannah gathered her close and kissed her forehead. “I’ve got you,” she murmured into her hair. “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”
“That was—” Janie shook her head, unable to finish the sentence. There weren’t words for what that was.
“I know,” Hannah said, her voice thick with emotion. “I know, baby.”
They lay tangled together for a long time, with Hannah tracing soothing patterns up and down Janie’s back. Her sobbing subsided, and her tears eventually slowed. Janie melted into Hannah’s arms, wrung out and raw and more vulnerable than she’d ever been, but also so much lighter. Those dark things that she’d locked inside her chest had finally broken free.
