“We’re rebuilding,” Solo said, taking Janie’s hand. To her relief, Janie didn’t pull away. “We’ve had a rough time recently. We’re living separately right now, but we’re working on our relationship. For ourselves and for our daughters.”
“That must be hard.” Carmen nodded slowly, but there didn’t appear to be judgment in her expression. “I appreciate your honesty. And for what it’s worth, I think kids do better when they see their parents working on problems rather than pretending they don’t exist.”
“We’re not pretending,” Janie said quietly. “Work, friends, family, us. It’s a juggling act, and we’re trying to figure it out.”
“That’s all any of us can do.” Carmen smiled. “Now, tell me about the girls’ personalities. What makes each of them tick?”
Solo grinned. Carmen wasthe one. She didn’t just want to know the on-paper, sterile information about schedules and dietary restrictions, she wanted to know about Tia’s stubborn independence, Chloe’s sensitivity to loud noises, and Luna’s Zen-like approach to life. She asked about their comfort objects, their favorite books, and whether they were nappers or fighters.
Solo glanced at Janie and was sure they were thinking the same thing. “What do you think about the girls spending time with both of us but sometimes separately. Janie will be coming over regularly.” She flinched slightly under Janie’s tightening grip on her hand. Shit, she’d assumed and spoken for her.Stupid.“As much as her current workload allows with the added travel time from her apartment.” Solo clenched her jaw, hating to think of Janie sleeping anywhere else but beside her. “I think we’re hoping to coordinate so she can be here during some of your hours, help with routines, that kind of thing.”
“I think that’s wonderful,” Carmen said. “Consistency is important, but so is flexibility. If you’re both committed to being present, I’m here to support that,notreplace it.”
That was music to Solo’s ears. Support was exactly whatthey needed, and then she could concentrate on maintaining a healthy balance between Janie and the girls. They talked logistics, about Carmen’s availability, her rate, and her potential start date, which couldn’t come soon enough.
When she left, after jokingly praising the artistic integrity of Tia’s wall art, Solo and Janie looked at each other. “Her,” they said simultaneously, then laughed.
“Jinx,” Janie said.
Solo grinned, enjoying Janie’s playfulness, something she’d missed long before Janie had left. Sure, parenting was a serious business, but Solo had taken itsoseriously that she’d left little room for the fun they used to have together. “Should we call her now? Or wait until we’ve confirmed the references?”
“Wait,” Janie said. “But I think she’s perfect. I like the way she’s interested in our whole family dynamic and not just the triplets. That feels like it’s more than just a job for her somehow.”
“Yeah.” Solo tentatively took Janie’s hand again, and her joy elevated when Janie didn’t pull away. “I liked that she didn’t see our relationship issues as a barrier to our ability to parent. She’s thinking of you as part of this.”
Janie blinked rapidly, and her eyes shone. “I wasn’t sure I still was.”
Solo frowned and squeezed Janie’s hand. “Of course you are. You’re their mother. Nothing changes that.” Why would she think that? She shouldn’t suffer and miss out on the girls’ growing up just because Solo wasn’t the wife she deserved. “And I want you here as much as possible. The girls need you. I—” She caught herself almost making it about them instead of just the girls, which was the battle they were fighting right now. “We need you.”
“Thank you,” Janie whispered, “for including me in this and for not shutting me out.”
Solo wanted to say that she’d never shut Janie out, but that would be a lie. She’d already done exactly that. It hadn’t been deliberate, but the effect was the same. “I’m trying to do better.I’m trying tobebetter at seeing you and making space for you.”
Before Janie could respond, Solo’s dad burst into the living room. Solo released her gentle grip on Janie and took a step back, feeling like she’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t. But that was nonsense. Janie was still her wife, at least while they wrestled with her wicked witch of a mother.
“They won’t go to sleep.” He took Janie’s hands in his and pulled her toward the door. “They’re screaming for you, Janie. You have to make it stop.”
As much as Solo wanted to be part of the moment, she didn’t go with them. Janie’s absence had clearly begun to affect the girls, and Solo wanted them to have as much of Janie’s attention tonight as possible. She didn’t want to dilute that with her presence.
She busied herself filling the dishwasher, smiling to herself as the girls’ happy screams echoed all over the house, and then she took Carmen’s resume into the living room to re-read. By the time Janie returned, Solo was even more convinced they’d hit the jackpot.
“He’s good with them,” Janie said, hovering in the doorway.
“Yeah, he is. I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t moved in.” Solo had a notion of what that would have looked like, but she wasn’t about to voice it. Only in the darkness of the nights she’d spent alone had she given space to how things might’ve turned out if she’d had to go it alone. And they’d been far right of pleasant. “Do you still have the time to stay for dinner? We could order something, or I could cook. Dad mentioned something about meeting up with some guys he met at the hardware store, so it would just be us.”
Janie glanced at her watch then covered it with her hand. “I’d like that,” she said. “But only if you let me help cook something. I’ve been living on takeout and cereal, and I’d commit perjury for a home-cooked meal.”
“Deal.” Solo stood, energized and buzzing that they’d get more time together. “Let’s go see what we have in therefrigerator.”
Janie smiled and went into the kitchen first. Solo did a little happy dance before jumping up and punching the air. She was about to join Janie but ran into her dad as he came into the living room.
“I’m going to see if it’s possible to make new friends at this age,” he said. “Your girls make it look easy at the park, but it’s been a while since I’ve had to do it.”
“You’ve got this, Pops,” Solo said and grasped his shoulder. “You’ll be a big hit.” She glanced beyond him, nervousness nipping at her own confidence.
“Go cook dinner with your wife.” He pulled her into a bear hug and slapped her back. “Show her you remember how to do something besides parent.”
God, she wanted that. Wanted to cook Janie a perfect dinner then take her to bed and rediscover her all over again. But that wouldn’t be tonight. It might not be any night soon. Or ever again.
