She didn’t miss Austin’s slight frown, but shedidchoose to ignore it. She needed a boost to get her over hump day, and she wasn’t going to let his judgment stop her. When she got to the bar, she considered ordering a full bottle but then quickly changed her mind, not wanting to add aspiring alcoholic to her burgeoning list of flaws.
“Same again?” Chris asked as he took her glass and deposited it below the bar.
Janie glanced back at Austin, who gave her a tight smile. Then she surveyed the rest of the room and saw several of her other colleagues with empty glasses lined up on their tables. Their job was stressful, and they needed a little kicker here and there. Right now, so did she. “Yes, please.” She flashed her card to pay.
Chris poured more than the measure she’d asked for into a fresh glass. “Rough day?”
“Rough year,” she said, without thinking to censor her answer. How cliché to pour out her troubles to the bartender and yet struggle to speak to a professional.
He laughed lightly. “Anything you want to talk about?”
She registered the look in his eyes that made it clear he was offering more than just his shoulder to cry on. She glanced over at Austin again, and he widened his eyes. Clearly, he’d interpreted Chris’s expression as she had. Janie shook her head. “Not really.” She didn’t need further complications in her life, and she wasn’t about to start cheating on Hannah, even though they were technically separated. Austin had been a similar temptation, but she knew now that she’d misinterpreted their instant friend connection and the ease with which they’d fallen into intimate conversation. “Thank you, though,” she said and placed five dollars on the bar.
He gave a rueful smile and slipped the cash into his pocket. “I’m here until eleven,” he winked, “if you change your mind.”
Janie took her glass and returned to the table without a backward glance. Austin shifted slightly and glared at Chris, so she assumed he’d stared at a particular part of her anatomy as she walked away.
“If you do decide to end your marriage,” Austin said, “there’ll be a line of wannabe replacements.”
Janie inhaled sharply, the prospect of letting go of the love of her life sharply stabbing her heart. But she didn’t really have a choice. It wouldn’t be fair to Hannah to keep her hoping against hope that their family could ever be whole again.
Austin reached across the table and touched Janie’s hand lightly. “Hey, I’m joking. Badly, obviously. There’s something going on with you that you’re not telling me.” He squeezed her hand gently when she opened her mouth to protest. “And that’s okay; you don’t have to tell me anything. But you should seriously consider getting your own therapist to work things through.” He withdrew his hand and gestured to a group of their colleagues heckling each other like hyenas around the pool table. “You don’t want this to affect your work, or that pack of coyotes will be all over your professional carcass.”
Janie wrinkled her nose. “That’s gross, Austin.”
He nodded. “It would be. They’d be picking over your cases like they’re pulling flesh from?—”
“Stop,” Janie said. “Seriously. I get it.” She glanced over at them but quickly looked away when Katherine caught her gaze and gave Janie her signature seduction smile. She’d repulsed Janie before, but now that she knew Katherine was Lori’s ex, and the woman Lori had referred to only as “the lawyer,” the strength of that revulsion had grown exponentially. She still couldn’t believe that the wicked ex-wife she’d heard Hannah and Gabe talk about was at her own firm when there were over five hundred other law offices in the city she could’ve worked for.
“You know I’m here for you, Janie,” Austin said. “If you need to talk aboutanything, I’ll hear you.”
She had to look away from the intense kindness in his eyes. Kindness she didn’t deserve. If he actually heard the reason for the darkness dragging her down, Janie couldn’t see him sticking around. She’d lose his friendship just like she’d lost Hannah and the girls, and selfishly, she couldn’t face that. There was also the extremely large issue that she couldn’t even bring herself to voice the problem in her head, let alone say it out loud, to Austin or to a therapist. “Thanks. I appreciate you,” Janie said. “I just think this is something I need to work through by myself for a while.”
“Okay, but just remember I’m here. And don’t get lost inthe darkness alone.” Austin looked slightly beyond her, and an unmistakable sadness overtook his usually bright green eyes.
Janie nibbled on her lower lip, trying to decide whether or not to press for more detail. He obviously had some personal experience that had left a mark, if his expression was anything to go by. Perhaps focusing on someone else’s story might allow Janie some temporary relief from her own.
“So how do you know Rosie Morgan?”
Janie looked up to see Katherine by their table, holding two glasses of wine. She glanced back at Austin, and he rolled his eyes. The mist of melancholy had dissipated, and his nose twitched as if to indicate a bad smell.
“It’s something I’m doing pro bono,” Janie said. “She’s a new client.”
Katherine half-sneered. “I’m sure you could find more worthy people to fulfill your ethical duty. Has Phillip signed off on it?”
Janie arched her eyebrow. “I have full autonomy to choose whom I provide free legal advice to. I don’t need Phillip’s permission.”
Katherine huffed. “You do if you want to make partner before you’re fifty.”
“I think you might be mistaken, Katherine,” Austin said.
Janie dropped her shoulders slightly, glad for his intervention.
“Whatever,” Katherine said and held out one of the glasses to Janie. “You look like you need this.”
Janie gestured to the table. “Thank you, but no. I only just got a refill.”
Katherine put it on their table anyway and gave Janie her signature smile as she took the seat between her and Austin without asking. “It’s a ninety-dollar glass of Sangiovese. It can breathe while you finish,” she wrinkled her nose in the direction of Janie’s wine, “whatever that is.”
