Shay’s expression flickered, but she began to open the buttonsat the front of her dress. She untied the fabric belt around her waist, and Rosie exhaled as Shay let her dress drop to the floor, revealing a matching burgundy lace bra and panties set. Shay’s gaze never left Rosie as she knelt on the bed between her legs, and finally, there was a hint of the hunger Rosie was used to seeing in her eyes.
“You’re sure you want this?”
“Yes,” Rosie said, already breathless with the tension of her need pressing on her chest and humming between her legs. “Please. No more words.”
Shay spread Rosie’s lips with her left hand and pressed two fingers against her. She slid in easily, and Rosie saw the flicker of satisfaction dance across Shay’s face.
And then Rosie closed her eyes. As stunning and beautiful as Shay was, Rosie was done with interpreting her visual cues and body language, something that, after years of being a therapist, she couldn’t flick a switch to turn off. The ink-black darkness of her eyelids was the perfect non-stimulus to focus on the sensations between her legs and all over her body as she felt Shay’s lips and teeth drag over her stomach, her breasts, and her collarbone. Shay sucked hard on Rosie’s neck, her teeth scratching her jugular, while her fingers pumped rigid and strong.
Rosie opened up wider, demanding more, and Shay gave her more fingers until she paused just long enough to fold her thumb into her palm. Rosie screamed as Shay slowly curled her fingers inside her and completely filled her. Shay picked up her pace, steady at first, while Rosie exhaled and relaxed around Shay’s fist.
She searched blindly for Shay’s body, refusing to open her eyes, and her hand finally made contact with Shay’s back. She dragged her nails hard across Shay’s skin, hoping that it would encourage her to drive deeper.
It did exactly that, and just as Rosie had wanted, everything but the feeling in the hidden depths of her core, a depth that could only be reached this way, fell away. Intense, unforgiving, and unyielding. This was where the fundamental essence of herself resided, patientyet desperate for someone to have the strength to reach out for her this way.
Rosie rode Shay that way, losing time and thought, for as long as her body would take it. She didn’t count the number of times her body clenched and crushed Shay’s hand inside her as Shay took her over and over the highest crests of desire. It wasn’t until she was fully exhausted and Shay was breathless above her that Rosie said, “I’m spent.”
Shay removed herself slowly and carefully, and Rosie kept her eyes closed as she breathed around the discomfort. When Shay had withdrawn, Rosie felt her weight settle beside her on the bed, but she still remained locked inside her black cocoon of blissful ignorance, the hot pulsing between her legs the only thing she was truly cognizant of. She couldn’t—wouldn’t—acknowledge the deep trust it took to let someone in that way, nor the feeling of being so perfectly taken.
She placed her hand flat on the space between them and tentatively inched across the mattress in search of Shay’s skin. Not just her skin; Rosie wanted her hand. Her fingers touched a smooth, long nail, and she followed it until her hand completely covered Shay’s. When Shay didn’t pull away, Rosie intertwined their fingers and went still.
They lay like that for a while until Shay moved beneath her touch, and Rosie found herself being gently maneuvered onto her side. The heat of Shay’s skin warmed her cooling body, and the soft material of her underwear felt comforting against her back. Shay’s slow, hot breaths caressed Rosie’s neck, and as she listened to Shay’s steady breathing, it lulled her into an easy semi-consciousness.
Every muscle in Rosie’s body relaxed, and all her tension ebbed away. Shay was staying for a while then. That was new. And so very welcome.
CHAPTER 15
Shay stayedawake in a semi-guard role as Rosie fell into a deep sleep following their intense sex. She’d fucked women that way before, though not as hard or for as long, but it had never felt thatimportant. It seemed like it hadn’t just been sex for Rosie, that she’d needed it as much as she needed air. And Shay had a sense they were communicating on the deepest level possible without words.
That complicated things, didn’t it? Or maybe these were just special circumstances, and Shay didn’t have toletit complicate things between them. But she’d been the one to wrap her arms around Rosie and pull her close, like she knew that was exactly what Rosie needed. And what the hell did that mean? She and Gabe had never comforted each other that way, but they were both Army, and they’d had to keep their feelings and vulnerabilities pretty much hidden. They weren’t ever having sex either. Maybe now that they were civilians and living together, it might be different. If Lori dumped Gabe, and she came home one evening, devastated and messy, would Shay lay with her, hold her as she cried—if Gabe was actually capable of shedding tears? She’d come close when Lori had walked out on her before they were even together, but full-blown sobbing… She didn’t think so.
Shay had no idea what it was that had brought Rosie to this place but guessed that she would tell her when she was ready, just like Shay would tell Rosie about her complicated family eventually. There’d been no signs of the worst-case scenarios that had haunted Shay’s mind all the way from Aaron’s house to Rosie’s apartment, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. Something could’ve happened elsewhere, and Rosie couldhave come home and cleaned herself up.
She edged even closer to Rosie and breathed in the tangy scent of sex that hung in the air. Even that smelled different. Did emotions have a scent? Rosie pushed her butt back into Shay’s crotch, but her deep breathing indicated she was still sleeping, something Shay should try to do too. She had a sleep cap in her purse, but there was no way she could shift Rosie to get to it. She’d just have to hope none of her hair broke and deal with the dry hair situation in the morning. She closed her eyes, but her pupils bounced behind her eyelids, and her mind smirked at her attempt to rest. She concentrated on her breathing and repeated the nonsensical mantra that always helped clear her thoughts:Black is black. White is white. You don’t get gray without a fight.
When Rosie shifted in her arms, Shay woke with a start. The daylight streaming in through the half-closed blinds meant they must’ve slept as least six hours, and her numb arm under Rosie’s body tingled, underlining her guess. Rosie wriggled out of her rubbery grasp, and the feeling rushed back into Shay’s left arm, making it buzz and ache.
Rosie sat up and pulled the sheet over her breasts. “You’re still here?”
“No. You’re hallucinating, and I’m a figment of your imagination,” Shay said and winked. “Though it’s tough to tell from your face whether it’s a good or bad illusion.” And the way Rosie had covered herself with the sheet indicated it was the latter.
As if aware of her reaction, Rosie dropped the sheet. “It’s a good one.”
She smiled, but it didn’t last long, and the unspoken sadness in her eyes invaded her whole expression, just as it had last night. She sighed deeply and looked away, but not before Shay had caught the tears edging Rosie’s eyes.
Shay ran her tongue over her teeth and shuddered. She had an overnight kit in the car but didn’t want to go out just yet. “Do you have a spare toothbrush?” She got up and headed towardthe bathroom after grabbing moisture spray from her purse, more concerned with how unruly her hair was going to be than how bad her breath stank.
“Middle drawer on the left.”
When Shay returned, Rosie was no longer in bed. She looked around for a T-shirt or hoody but couldn’t find anything. She didn’t want to hunt through Rosie’s space, so she walked to the kitchen in her underwear, not quite ready to pull on her dress again. She found Rosie eating cake straight from the fridge, and she turned around with an adorable look of guilt before that too dissolved into grief.
Rosie slammed the fridge door and tossed the fork into the sink. “My mom’s dead.”
Shay wished she’d gotten dressed. That was a hell of a bombshell to drop before she’d even had coffee. How could Rosie have pulled Shay to the bedroom with that news fresh in her mind? “Rosie…I’m so sorry.” Jesus, those words were too rote, too shallow and lacking. And they couldn’t provide comfort, but neither could Shay. Her own unresolved grief spewed to the surface like lava to the top of a volcano, and she leaned against the countertop for support, assuming Rosie wouldn’t notice given that she had her own shit to deal with. “How?” From what Rosie had already told her about her mom, Shay figured it wouldn’t be a simple story.
“Keith said it was a heart attack. She was admitted to the hospital with cardiac arrest, but she died of a pulmonary edema brought on by an opioid overdose.”
The words came out in rapid fire, as if Rosie had to eject them before her emotions closed her throat and made it impossible to speak. Shay stepped forward awkwardly and held out her arms, still painfully aware of her inappropriate half-naked state. Images of her momma’s grave assailed her mind, and she blinked them away, trying desperately to focus on Rosie’s pain and this moment.
