She got to her feet, her body feeling not quite like her own, and grabbed her MacBook before dropping back onto the couch. She opened Google Flights, entered the details, and hit search. The prices changed depending on what day she chose to return… How was she supposed to know how long she needed to be down there? And how was she supposed to book space to bring her mom home? Was that even allowed on a commercial flight? She looked at the wooden box she’d pulled down from the bookshelf. Her mom had given her a letter when Rosie turned eighteen and told her it was her last wishes and funeral arrangements. Rosie shook her head. It was quite the unique graduation gift and surprisingly forward thinking. Rosie had long suspected that it was just another desperate bid to be the center of attention, and that she was supposed to be too curious to wait. Then she was supposed to have confronted her mom about the modesty of her requests.
Not opening it had become a matter of stubborn pride, and she’d lost count of the number of times her mom had asked her about it. Rosie was damn sure there wouldn’t be a check inside to cover the expenses.
She covered her mouth and choked back another sob at the heartless thought. How could she think something like that when her mom’s body was lying frigid in a Mexican morgue?Experience, that’s how, the angry voice in her head said.
Was Shay still coming? Or had she changed her mind? Rosie wouldn’t blame her. It wasn’t like she’d signed up for anything like this. Hell, neither had Rosie. She’d pulled the short straw when it came to good moms. The angry voice was far louder and more vocal than the others.
Her front door buzzer sounded, and she headed toward the intercom panel on autopilot. “Hello?” she asked, her throat dry and her voice croaky.
“Hey. I’m here.”
Rosie’s heart jumped at the sound of Shay’s voice before a rush of grief compressed her joy against the wall of her mind like a bully in a school hallway. She hadn’t heard the unmistakable roar of Shay’s car at all, and she supposed the doorbell had sounded strangely muted.
“Rosie?”
She hit the release button and then pressed her palms to the door, wanting the sensation of something solid to ground her, because it felt like she was becoming distant and disconnected to her senses and surroundings. The knock on the door reverberated through the wood and into her hands. At least she could feelsomething.
Rosie opened the door, and the moment she saw the concern in Shay’s expression, she lost all strength in her body and slumped, expecting to hit the floor. But Shay caught her and guided her down gently before closing the door. After a moment, she allowed herself to be lifted to her feet, and Shay supported her unsteady walk back to the couch. Rosie scolded herself. They should be walking the other way to her bedroom. That’s what Shay really wanted. That’s what they’d agreed on. But friends supported each other too, and that was the other side of this coin. Rosie just hadn’t expected to cash it in quite this soon.
“Can I get you something to drink?” Rosie asked, her hostess mode kicking in.
Shay shook her head. “Let me get you something.”
She nodded but didn’t state a preference. She doubted her mouth would register anything, but the sensible side of her that was hovering stubbornly told her she should drink something. Shay returned from the kitchen with two bottles of water and a glass. Rosie smiled when she heard the fizz of the gas as Shay opened one of the bottles and began to pour it for her. Shay had remembered Rosie’s preference for sparkling water. She touched her face and lips. Her heart’s response hadn’t reached her brain, and she wasn’t smiling at all.
Shay offered her the glass, and she took a sip. Maybe the liquid would lubricate her throat and allow her to finally speak. She could see Shay looking around the room, probably trying to find some clue as to what the hell was going on. God, what did she think had happened for her to rush over here like this? Shay surely had somany other things—so many other women—she could be doing instead.
She willed herself to form words, but they evaded her, and her focus fell once again on the small wooden box in the center of her coffee table, taunting her. She was as certain as she could be that her mom was dead. She still had to identify the body, but the doctor’s description of her too-numerous-to-count tattoos had done that job really. What did that damn letter say?
“Rosie…”
Shay’s gentle voice seeped into her consciousness again, and Rosie lolled her head to the side to look at her. Even through the cloudy grief of her tears, Shay’s beauty astounded her. What the hell was she doing here with her?
“Can you tell me what happened?”
Shay looked her up and down but not in the way Rosie had grown both accustomed to and very fond of. No one had ever looked at her with that same primal hunger, like she might starve if she didn’t feed on her immediately. She guessed Shay was still searching for visual answers. Physical damage, maybe? Rosie looked back at the screen of her MacBook, and Shay followed her gaze.
“You’re going on a trip?” Shay asked gently.
Rosie looked back at her and saw the complete confusion in her expression. Flying to Tijuana clearly had zero to do with the Unity Tools account. Why couldn’t she just talk, goddammit? She put her hand on Shay’s thigh and looked deep into her beautiful dark eyes. Maybe…maybe she’d feel better if she pushed all of this away for now and lost herself in those eyes, in Shay’s embrace. Maybe Shay’s touch could make her forget, make her stop overthinking everything. Shay could stop her thinking at all, and she could focus on feeling only good things.
And after, the world would right itself and come back into sharp focus, allowing Rosie to organize everything she needed to. She dropped her gaze to the Cupid’s bow curve of Shay’s lips, oneof the things Rosie had always found so sexy. Her mouth was so kissable, her skin so soft and smooth. If Rosie could just allow Shay to be the center of her Universe right now, she could have one last happy experience before she contemplated her life without…
No, don’t think about that right now. Feel.She cupped Shay’s cheek in her hand and ran her thumb over her full lips. She dragged her nail along Shay’s bottom lip then moved closer to kiss her, desperate to taste her.
But Shay stilled Rosie’s hand and pulled away slightly. “Rosie, talk to me.”
Rosie shook her head. “Please, no talking. Not yet.” She saw the hesitancy mixed with confusion in Shay’s expression, like she was trying hard to read her and failing. Rosie didn’t need Shay to understand; she just wanted her fingers on her skin, reminding her she was alive, reminding her that she could still experience joy. And what greater joy was there than a few of the earth-shattering orgasms Shay could give her?
“I don’t get what’s happening,” Shay whispered, still gently holding Rosie’s hand.
“Please. I want this.” She got up, her legs feeling steady once more, and pulled Shay to her feet. “No words.” She tugged Shay down the hallway to her bedroom and was grateful when she resisted no further.
“What do you want?” Shay asked as she stood at the foot of Rosie’s bed, her eyes searching for more information than Rosie was currently able to give.
“I want you to fuck me. Hard.” She pulled off her linen pants and T-shirt and dropped back onto her bed, completely naked. “Fuck me harder than you’ve ever fucked anyone before.”
Shay’s uncertainty was clear, but the biggest part of Rosie didn’t care right now. She didn’t need Shay’s hesitation or moral conscience. She wanted to be fucked senseless and delivered onto the shores of oblivion on a wave of pleasure. “Simple, remember?”
