“You are very kind, but I think I shall return home and rest,” he said, as Lady Theresa’s smile fell away, with Lady Evelina continuing to watch him carefully. “I will be in attendance at Almacks this evening, however.”
This brought the smile back to Lady Theresa’s face. “Oh, how wonderful! We are to attend as well. We have our cousin with us as well, for her father is unable to be present this evening.”
Jonathan smiled politely. “Am I acquainted with your cousin?”
“Yes, I think you are,” Lady Evelina told him, her voice holding a coolness which, Jonathan suspected, came about because he refused to join them in Gunters. “You danced with her recently. Lady Honora?”
Surprise had his eyebrows lifting, but he nodded. “Yes, I am acquainted with Lady Honora. I will look forward to seeing you all this evening.”
“And dancing with us, I hope,” Lady Theresa exclaimed, only for her sister to grasp her hand and frown hard, telling her silently that the manner in which she spoke was much too forward. She flushed red and bobbed a quick curtsy before turning away, leaving Jonathan free to walk back to his carriage.
There is only one person I wish to dance with this evening, he thought to himself, his smile slowly returning as his thoughts went back to Lady Susanna.And I must hope that she will accept me so I might hold her in my arms once more.
14
“Do try and make certain that you have even one dance this evening, Susanna. It would be better for the Duke’s daughters to both be able to step out, rather than I alone.”
Susanna gripped her hands tightly together and looked Maude straight in the eye. “Do not be concerned on my account, sister,” she said, managing to keep the frustration out of her voice. “I am quite sure I will have more than one dance taken this evening.” After all she had shared with Lord Lancashire, Susanna was praying that he would find her and ask her to dance, even if it was to be her only dance of the evening. She wanted very much to be back in his arms again.
“Is that so?” Maude sniffed and shook her head. “I think you have a little too much hope, Susanna. You have been struggling to find gentlemen to stand up with you of late, have you not?”
The frustration in Susanna’s heart turned to pain. “I do not think I will struggle any longer, Maude,” she said, as sweetly as she could. “Not this evening, at least.”
Her sister frowned, her eyes holding questions, but Susanna, much to her relief, spied Lady Ellen walking alongside her aunt and, knowing that her mother would not care where she had gone so long as she was being just as proper as was expected, Susanna took her leave of her sister.
“Oh, Ellen, thank goodness you have come.”
Ellen, immediately welcoming, smiled warmly and then looped her arm through Susanna’s. “I am just as glad to see you as you are to see me! I must say, this ball is more of a crush than I anticipated, and I find myself somewhat overwhelmed by the sheer number of people present!”
She gestured expansively at the room around them — the chandeliers blazing with a hundred candles each, their light fracturing across the crystal droplets and scattering tiny rainbows across the nearest dancers; the orchestra on its raised platform, playing a lively country dance that set feet tapping even among those who were not dancing; and the press of bodies in silk and superfine, the scent of perfume and pomade and warm skin mingling in the heated air. It was the sort of evening that Maude lived for, and that Susanna had, until very recently, endured.
Susanna leaned towards her, keeping her voice low despite the crowd around them. “If you wish, I can tell you all about Lord Lancashire and how he found me in the bookshop.”
Ellen stopped walking.
“We – we have come to an understanding.”
Her friend snatched in a breath.
“He confessed all to me and, in return, I confessed my heart to him, just as you suggested.” With joy still pouring into her heart at the recollection of her conversation with Lord Lancashire, Susanna shut her eyes for a moment or two, a smile spreading across her face as shetold the rest of the story to her friend. When she had finished, Ellen said nothing at all for some minutes. Seeing just how wide Ellen’s eyes had become, Susanna could not help but giggle, her face flushing. “I did not think you could stare at me like that, Ellen.”
Her friend blinked, tried to say something, and then shook her head, obviously overwhelmed with astonishment at all Susanna had shared.
“I do hope you will support me in such a decision,” Susanna continued, her smile fading as she watched her friend, the ball continuing around them. “I understand that it may seem foolish to you to return to someone who has caused so much pain, but my heart will not let him go free.”
“No, no, of course I do not think you foolish!” Ellen, regaining her voice, grasped Susanna’s hand. “I was the one who encouraged you to speak with him, was I not? I just did not expect it to come about so quickly!”
Heat tore into Susanna’s face. “Nor did I, if I am to be truthful. I did not expect to see him in the bookshop and most certainly did not think that he would come to me in such a way! I am very pleased that he did so, however.”
“As am I.” Ellen’s eyes became assessing. “I must say, I admire your forgiving spirit. I do not think that I would so easily be able to step past the hurt he caused you.”
Susanna considered this, then nodded slowly. “I do not think I am more forgiving than anyone else. I think that since I have discovered what it is to fall in love with another, to cling to him in heart, mind, and soul, it has been easier for me to return to that love when it is offered me again. The pain is still present, yes. The hurt and the upset have not simply faded because he has apologized, but they have certainly diminished.”
“And diminished enough for you to return to his arms.”
With a small smile, Susanna nodded. “Yes, I think so.”
“Then I am glad for you.”
