I open my email and click on the attachment. I enter the password she gave me over the phone so I can view the encrypted document, and then… There she is.
My daughter.
And she’s perfect.
Nancy.
She’s currently in foster care, having been removed from her birth mother last year when she was only three years old. Her mother has since passed away, and her father is unknown. She’s now four and doing very well in pre-school. She has responded remarkably well to foster care, although she does have a diagnosis of mild Reactive Attachment Disorder, which basically means she can be inhibited and emotionally withdrawn with caregivers. That may be a challenge for us to overcome, but I’ve worked with a lot of kids with similar conditions throughout my career, so I’m sure we’ll find a way that works for us.
It seems there’s no sign of specific trauma or abuse, aside from the obvious trauma of being removed from her mother’s care, but she has periods of being non-verbal or hiding by covering her eyes when she’s anxious. This is a common trait I’ve seen in looked-after children, and straight away, I think I’ll look into some play therapy for her once she’s settled in. Aidan might also be a good person for her to spend time with, I think, as he can relate to how she might be feeling. Aside from anything else, he’s a gentle giant who I’m sure will love nothing more than being an uncle.
As I read through her file, I think back to Corey’s words from a couple of weeks ago, before I started behaving like an immature shithead.
“Trying to do life alone isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
Reading through Nancy’s file, the phrase ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ comes to mind, and I can’t believe how ridiculous I’ve been over not telling my brothers. I resolve to tell them everything tomorrow. It’ll be a nice Christmas surprise for them, and for Mum, Dad, and Wren to find out about exactly who the newest member of the Foster family is going to be.
Nancy Foster is coming home.
Christmas Day with my family is not an experience for the faint of heart. The Monopoly games have gotten heated in the past, and that was just the argument over who has which playing piece. I’m the car. I have always been the car. And I always will be the car.
Except… not this year apparently. Because Corey is given first dibs, it being his first Christmas with us, and he chooses… the car.
But I’m a good sport about it. Completely.And if I take no prisoners in the game, I win practically every year, then that’s just a bit of friendly competition. I’m only mildly perturbed when, after two gruelling hours, I’m defeated. By Corey.
I shake it off with a handshake, and his small smile makes losing almost bearable. Almost, but not quite.
A short while later, Mum’s just handed out turkey sandwiches, her incredible lemon and thyme stuffing that only ever gets made at Christmas, bread sauce, and cranberry sauce, adding something just a little bit special to the Christmas night staple. Mum’s turkey sandwiches are legendary, and myself and my brothers agree we prefer them to the dinner itself. Wren is not so keen because girls are weird, or at least that’s the teasing line we’ve given her since she was nine and stopped eating them. She has a plate of cheese and crackers instead, with piccalilli of all things. Like I said, weird.
Mum leaves the room and comes back with a tray full of glasses filled with ice and a generous pour of Bailey’s, another Foster family Christmas tradition. Once everyone has a drink in hand, I swallow hard and chance a quick glance at Corey, who gives me a small smile and nods his head at me. He knows what I’m aboutto do. It’s time. I stand from my seat, Bailey’s in hand, and clear my throat to get everyone’s attention.
“Merry Christmas, everyone, and a huge thank you to Mum and Dad for hosting. Thanks to everyone for the food and gifts, it’s been a really great day.”
I feel like I’m giving a speech at the Party Conference, not sharing some incredibly happy news with my family. I clear my throat to try to loosen myself up a bit. My family is all looking around in confusion, Mum is on the edge of her seat with tears in her eyes, no doubt fully aware that she’s about to find out about her grandchild. Dad grips her hand, his eyes twinkling in his own excitement. Wren, who’s been quiet after the debacle with Sam the other night, smiles for the first time all day, and Corey is sitting quietly in the corner on the love seat Mum uses for reading, a small, knowing smile on his face.
“I have a little announcement,” I start. “Well, I guess it’s quite a big announcement, really.” I clear my throat again. “You all know that when Shelley left, I was gutted, but it took me a bit of time to realise that I wasn’t gutted about Shelley herself leaving. In reality, I was gutted about the prospect of not being a dad.”
All eyes are on me now, and the lump in my throat grows in size as the overwhelming love and support from my family pour over me in waves. Abi’s call yesterday, confirming things couldn’t have come at a better time.
“So, um, basically, I know I’ve been a bit AWOL recently, well, for quite a while really, but I’ve been going through the process of becoming registered to adopt.” I keep going despite seeing my brothers all sit straight like a row of meerkats sensing danger. “And yesterday, I got a call to say that a little girl called Nancy had been matched to me, and I’ll be going to meet her tomorrow with a view to bringing her home in a week or so.” I take a large swallow of my drink as I wait for the reaction of my family. Despite knowing they’ll be supportive because, ultimately, they just want me to be happy, I’m nervous. I wince a bit at the thick texture of the drink, wishing it were a nice Scotch whisky instead.
I look up from the glass in my hand after a few too many seconds of silence, and glance around the stunned faces in the room. Mum has tears running down her cheeks, and her hands are covering her mouth, Dad’s arm wrapped around her shoulders. Archer, Cole, and Wren are all holding hands, bouncing slightly on thesofa. As one, my entire family erupts in cries of celebration and support. Mum and Dad both wrap me in a hug, tears flowing freely. Over Mum’s shoulder, I see Aidan almost tip Rain out of his lap so he can barrel over to me, brushing our parents out of the way and wrapping me up in a bone-crushing hug.
Fuck, I love hugs from my brother. He holds so many of his emotions inside, but when he hugs, you feel every last one of them. And this hug? This hug is filled with love, support, and excitement. Rain regains his composure quickly, laughing affectionately at Aidan before making his way over to where Corey is sitting quietly, smiling to himself, eyes fixed on the floor, and taking a seat next to him.
After Aidan releases me, I’m swept up in hugs and back slaps from my other siblings.
“Fucking great news, bro! I’m gonna be an uncle!” Cole roars in my ear.
“I’ll obviously be the favourite,” Archer interjects, gripping my bicep in a show of quiet support.
“Actually, I think you’ll all find that I will be the favourite. ‘Aunty Wren’ has such a nice ring to it, don’t you think?” My sister jumps into my arms and hangs on with her arms aroundmy neck. She’s been subdued today, but I’m so happy my news seems to have at least provided her with a distraction.
After the celebrations have died down a little, Aidan pulls me to one side, whispering quietly for only me to hear. “I’m so happy for you, big brother. I know how much you’ve wanted this. I wish I’d known this was all going on so I could have been there for you.” He gives me a wry look, and I feel myself well up as I realise how stupid I’ve been trying to manage all of this uncertainty alone.
“I know, mate, I just…” I run a hand down my face, and it comes away slightly damp from my lingering tears. “I knew you had a lot going on with Rain, and this really did only come to fruition in the last couple of weeks.”
“Yeah, but you must have been working on this for ages. I know this process isn’t fast,” he says, with a sympathetic head tilt. “I could have been there. I would have been there.”
