“Like what?” he asks gently.
“I er…”
“Sorry, that was so rude. You don’t have to te—”
“No, I don’t mind telling you,” I say, sitting up and turning to face him. If I’m going to say this, I’m going to say it to his face. “I just worry what you’ll think of me when I do.”
“I’m almost thirty-five years old, Corey.I’m a doctor, with an ex-wife who now lives with an ex-professional footballer in London, three brothers, and a sister who is a bit of a wild card. I’m not sure anything could shock me.” His tone is reassuring and, for once in my life, I believe what this man is telling me on face value. There’s no artifice or expectation in him, just kindness and understanding.
“OK, I…” Fuck, this is hard. “I sold myself while I was homeless. Sold blow jobs at the railway station for money so I could eat. It only happened a few times, and I only did it when I had literally not eaten for days, but I did it and—”
“Hey,” he coos, pulling me into his embrace. Those wonderfully protective arms come around me again, and I take a heaving breath of his cedar scent. “You’re OK. You’re OK.” He shushes me as I cry into his jacket front. “You know you’re safe here, right?”
“Am I?” I ask, pulling away again reluctantly. Friends don’t curl up on other friends’ laps and cry themselves silly. I scoot back a few inches to give him some space. “What if they—”
“If they turn up here, we’ll deal with it. We’ll call the police, or run them off, or whatever we have to do. My family is obsessed with Rain, and I think you need to be prepared for thesame.” He winks at me, and I think I melt a little. “We’re not about to let some psychos come and try to hurt our family. It just won’t happen.” He sounds so sure. If only he knew what they were really like.
I suppose Nash does, though. He’s the one who checked Rain over when Dan hurt him so badly he ran away. Even if Aidan doesn’t know the full picture, although I’m sure he does at this point, Nash certainly must be able to guess.
Something about this beach, this moment, this man, makes me want to be open and honest. Like this sunrise at the beach with him is the fresh start to my fresh start. And I don’t want to drag all that history with me.
“I met Dominic when I was homeless, and he offered me everything I thought I wanted. I never loved him. I don’t think I was ever really attracted to him, but he offered a roof over my head, food in my belly, and a job so I could earn my own money. The only price I had to pay was to be willing to be used by him for his own fantasies.”
Nash says nothing, just listens.
“He wasn’t physical at first. It was more like he wanted control. I think because his brother is so controlling of him. Dan is trulyunhinged, but Dominic is just weak. And pathetic. And with a few weeks of space between us, I can’t help but think about what allowing myself to become beholden to a man like that says about me.”
“I think it says you are strong. Resilient. And you made the best out of an impossible situation. People who abuse others don’t do it for any rational reason. They are the only ones who will ever truly know their motivations, and as soon as you saw the danger you were truly in, you left. You left all that security behind you to protect yourself. That takes guts, Corey. Real fucking guts, and I know we’ve only known each other a few days, but I think you are one of the strongest people I’ve ever met.”
“Really?” I sniff around more tears and snot. Ugh, I’m so disgusting. I bet I’m all blotchy.
“Really,” he says, certainty weighing his words and pressing them into my psyche.
“Thanks.”
We sit in quiet for a little while longer, just enjoying the sunrise as it creeps ever higher into the sky.
“I think I’m going to be happy here,” I say.
“I hope so,” Nash replies.
“Tell me something good. Something exciting going on with you. I need to shake this off,” I request, literally shaking my head to loosen the bowstrings tightening my chest.
“Ah, now that I can do,” he says, an enormous grin on his face, and I tilt my head at him questioningly.
“Well… don’t leave me hanging,” I press, when he pauses for altogether too long.
“I’m about to become a dad,” he says, and the bottom falls out of my tentative hope.
Twelve
Nash
“C-congratulations,” Corey says, his tone sounding anything but happy for me. I frown at him in confusion.
“What?” I ask, feeling disappointed that I’m going to have to defend myself to him when I’d thought I’d found something of a kindred spirit.
“Nothing, I just…”
