The next day, I watched from a distance as Imani filmed her segment, the contestants lined up, listening to her every word. Sid and I sat side by side, sipping on a diet coke and eating blueberry muffins as she presented the elephant. The more I watched, the more I wanted to be her.
“You’re either jealous or horny, which is it?”
“Huh?” I snapped out of my trance to see Sid smirking at me.
“Your face? I swear you have love hearts in your eyes right now. Are you and Imani fucking on the side or somthing?”
“No!” I gasped. “I’m just envious. It looks fun, doesn’t it? Presenting like that, explaining your work, showing it off, teaching people how.”
Sid sniffed and sipped his drink. “Not to me. I don't like being the centre of attention.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You’re wearing a tulle skirt over jeans.”
“It matches my eyeshadow,” he grinned. “I’m happy for my clothes to make a statement. When it comes to dirt though, that's a private thing where I get to be in my own world. I wouldn’t want all that noise.”
I understood that. There was something sacred about working with the earth but ever since Alfie had mentioned it, the idea of sharing my passion had become more and more enticing to me.
“I like it, it reminds me of my mum teaching me how to plant and propagate. I think it’s a gift, passing on knowledge.”
“Maybe you’ll have Imani’s job one day. You could be on‘Gardeners’ World.’” I laughed. That would be the day. “I’m serious! You’re a good teacher.”
“Alfie said something similar. He thinks I should create my own show. Somehow.”
“You absolutely should do that! Can I help? Behind the scenes? I’ll be the Lola to your Imani.”
“Sure. I’ll pay you in blueberry muffins and Pepsi.” I knocked my can against his and laughed.
“I’m not kidding. I’d love to do that. We’re in the era of people starting their own businesses, own shows, own companies. You don’t need to wait for someone else to say you’ve earned an opportunity. Look at what you’ve built already.” He waved at the elephant. “You think that no one would be interested in watching you explain how?”
I blew out a breath. I felt overwhelmed. My wedding, Natalie’s wedding, Carolyn, John, career…I had too many big things on my plate right now.
“One mountain at a time. Let me finish this show first.”
Our lunch break over, it was time to get back to work. The contestants got started on their own projects, their own interpretations of nature. I wished I could hang out in the tent and watch them but we weren’t allowed. That didn’t stop me from sneaking a peek at the end of each day though.
Sid and I went back to our own Beatrix Potter inspiration, prepping for next week's theme of literature. The next day I put the finishing touches to it, smiling up at its beauty.
This job was coming to a bittersweet end. I only had three weeks left and I didn’t have another job lined up after. Imani hadn’t approached me about more work and truth be told, I didn’t want another favour from her. I had earned her favours but I wanted to take the next step on my own.
I just wasn’t sure what the next step was.
Ever since Alfie had mentioned me having my own show I couldn’t stop picturing it. I’d even sat in front of the mirror a few times, pretending I was talking to a camera, making a fool of myself probably, like a kid singing into a hairbrush. It was a dream, a new dream, and I felt hungry for it the way I’d felt hungry to get into college and learn to create sculptures and gardens. The way I felt hungry for Alfie. How had he known my dream before I did?
The more I thought about this new dream, the more afraid to reach for it I became. Just like when I was making the decision to leave my home town for London, I was afraid to jump.
Twenty-Five
The end of the week came and our sculptures were practically perfect. Having to build two instead of one was a lot of work but I was ambitious and we’d managed to pull it off even if it had meant working late on Friday. Eventually it was done and I waved at Sid as Maia drove us out of the Harrington estate.
“You’d think Moneybags would let us use his helicopter to save you the drive each week.”
“Moneyba-Mr Tell doesn’t want you flying without him.”
“Of course he doesn’t. Heaven forbid he misses an opportunity to get his bondage kink on again,” I grumbled, remembering the device he’d used to strap me in last time we flew together. Maia raised an eyebrow at me in the mirror. “I didn’t mean it like that!”
“Sure you didn’t.” She smirked and I smiled back. My anger towards her was fading. The pain of betrayal was still there, just as it was towards Elliot who had helped Alfie film every corner of my life for two years. But they worked for Alfie. They did what he told them, I understood that.
“Tell me to mind my business, but I heard that you asked Elliot to look into your father.”
