“Yeah, better to be safe than sorry. Like you said, I have resources now, I might as well use them.” I settled back in the seat, getting comfortable. Seeing as we were asking personal questions, I decided to go ahead and ask one of my own. “Hey Maia, tell me to mindmybusiness, but I heard that you and Eli are still kind of seeing each other?”
“You heard?” Maia raised her brows at me in the mirror. “Meaning you saw me at the club?”
“I didn’t want to say that. I’d hate to pull a Julia.” Bringing it up was probably against club rules even if I wasn’t strictly a member and even if Maia and I were friends or…whatever we were. “I’m not judging at all, but you know you can talk to me about whatever is going on with him, if you want to, I mean.”
She didn’t reply. “I’m not sure where I stand with you, Lola. We were friends but we weren’t, and now I work for you but you aren’t exactly my biggest fan. Which is understandable.”
“Yeah, it’s complicated, isn’t it?” She glanced at me in the mirror, her brown eyes softening. “Why don’t we just say that I’m still mad at you but I’m working on it?”
“I’ll take that.” She pulled in a deep breath. “There’s not much to say about Eli. We got to know each other during a vulnerable time in my life. We met when Alfi-Mr Tell asked him to represent my mother in a legal case.” Before I could ask she waved a hand. “Long story, I don't want to talk about it. I could never afford Eli but Mr Tell covered the costs. He was amazing, got my mother out of some trouble, took some of the stress off my shoulders. In the process he got to know more about my background than I’d like. We’ve been in and out of each other's lives since.”
“And now? Why not get it together now?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I want him too much. Maybe I don’t like aspects of his life.”
“The club?” I asked and Maia nodded. “Then why were you there the other night?”
“I want to see him, it’s easier to see him there so I don’t forget why we can’t really be together. I don’t judge anyone else's lifestyle, it's just not mine.”
“He enjoys things that you don’t,” I said, reading between the lines.
“He’s a Dom and not in the Damien-Marx-fun-for-a-night way.”
“He’s…what is he?” This was still new to me.
“He enjoys having a sub as part of his everyday lifestyle. He doesn’t switch it off, it's a 24/7 deal.”
“Wow. Ouch.”
Maia giggled. “Yeah. Ouch. I like it for a night here and there. It can be exciting, but he likes to control everything all the time. I’m not judging him, I just can’t be what he wants.”
“Maybe you could meet in the middle somewhere?” I suggested. That’s what Alfie and I were trying to do. I knew he was used to a lot more kink in his life than he was having with me. I’d seen nearly every corner of the club at this point and Alfie had built that place. He’d done things with other women that made my toes curl.
“Tried that. Kind of. We don’t see each other much. I’m your shadow and he spends more time in New York than he does here. He and Keira have crossed paths a few times at certain clubs.”
My stomach turned over. I worried about my friend. I trusted her, she was smart, but other people weren’t always so trustworthy. I didn’t like to think of her putting herself in vulnerable situations.
“Are you saying that she and he…?”
“No. He wouldn’t do that to me, or to Damien for that matter. I just can’t seem to let him go. He’s not good for me, I can’t make him happy, we should just leave it alone.”
“But you can’t.” I knew that feeling too well. “Maybe he’ll get over it. Realise that having you is more important than having every titillating fantasy fulfilled.”
“It’s more than titillating. I thought you’d figured that out by now.”
“Alfie enjoys aspects of that life, but he would drop the club in a heartbeat if I asked him to.” I was sure of it. Once I would have doubted if he loved me enough but not anymore. “If he wants you enough, he’ll figure out how to negotiate. He is a lawyer after all.”
Maia gave me a smile but said nothing else. I decided to let it be, figuring I’d given her enough to think about. I thought about my mother and father, Natalie and Riley, Keira and Damien, Maia and Eli, Alfie and I…I wondered if love was ever straightforward for anybody.
We lapsed into silence until we arrived at Alfie’s house, well, my house. I kept forgetting it was mine too. He met me at the door and pulled me inside. I found myself pushed up against a wall, giggling as he left a trail of kisses from my cheek down to my collar bone.
“How tired are you?” he asked. “I want to take you somewhere.”
“You can take me somewhere. The club? You said yesterday that you’d spank me later.” Aspects of the club still made me uneasy, but as long as it was just Alfie and I, I was coming to love the intensity of our sessions there.
“Tomorrow, I’ll take you to the club tomorrow. Tonight I want to take you somewhere else.”
My interest was piqued but he refused to tell me anything. He had me change out of my jeans and t-shirt, and dressed me himself in a pink Prada cocktail dress.
