“And all you want in return is?”
“Just to know you. Be a part of your life in whatever way.”
I raised a sceptical brow. “Not money? You know who my fiance is.”
John glanced up at Harrington house, as if Alfie was about to stride out the back door any moment.
“Yes, I know who he is but I don’t know much. Natalie says you met him through work?”
I narrowed my eyes. “Yes but you didn’t answer my question.”
“Money isn’t why I’m here, Lola. Between my troubles with drink and gambling, having a lot of money probably wouldn’t be good for me. You and your sister are all I want.”
Lie. I wanted him to lie. It would all be so much easier. I’d hoped he wouldn’t show up today so I could say I told you so. I’d hoped he’d be drunk, or rude, or refuse to take accountability. I’d hoped he’d ask for money, or seem hungry for it. That’s why I’d chosen to meet him here, at Harrington. Flaunt Alfie’s wealth in his face and see how he responded, see if it made him hungry. It didn’t seem to. He only seemed interested in me.
“I need to think.” I needed to talk to Alfie.
“Would you like me to go?”
“Yes.” I could make an excuse, say I had to get back to work but I didn’t owe him excuses. He might be sorry for what he’d done, but I didn’t need to prioritise his feelings right now.
“Lola, I love you very much. I just wanted to say it, just in case this is the last time I see you.” He smiled to himself. “I never liked the name, you know. Lola. Your mother said it suited you.”
“She was right. It does suit me.”
“Aye, it’s grown on me.” He stood, his chair scraping on the stone. “You take care of yourself. Be careful with that man of yours.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“He’s a powerful man. Just be careful.”
He was gone before I could retort.
I pulled my knees up to my chest and let myself cry. I didn’t know what I’d hoped to get from seeing him. Somehow I felt both better and worse.
A box of tissues appeared in front of me, accompanied by Maia’s gentle smile.
“You can sit,” I offered as she started to back away. She took the seat my father had just vacated. She seemed so small in it compared to him.
I hadn’t told her yet that I’d seen her at the club with Eli and I felt guilty having information about her that she didn’t know I had. The irony wasn’t lost on me. I wasn’t sure that I was allowed to mention it though. Club rules and all.
“Was it as awful as it looked?” she asked.
“I don’t know. How much did you hear?”
“None of it. I just watched.”
“Drinking and gambling and mental health bullshit. That’s why he’s been gone. It’s all so pedestrian, so predictable.” She didn’t respond, only nodded. “Did you know that Alfie knew where he was all this time?”
“Yes. I also know we never dug that deep into him. Perhaps we should have.”
I looked away from her, trying not to let my anger show. I’d talked to her about my father, when we lived together before I knew who she really was. I’d confided in her that my father had abandoned me and I didn’t know where he was. That I worried and wondered if he was dead. She’d known the truth and had said nothing. Because it was her job.
I heaved a sigh. I felt like I had too many emotions for one person to handle.
“My mother was a gambler,” she said, breaking the silence.
“That’s why you took the job spying on me? You needed money to pay off her debts?”
