“Time isn’t a problem, but silence is.” His hands were in his pockets. He stood perfectly still. I had to pace and fidget and cry when we fought but he was always still. Watching me. Like he was playing chess and trying to figure out his next move. “You can’t leave me in the dark, Lola. You can’t leave me wondering if I’ve lost you again.”
“You thought I was going to break up with you?” I gasped. His jaw clenched, his grey gaze was sheened with fear. “Alfie, no.”
“I lied to you again. Broke your trust again. It’s the logical conclusion. I expect Keira advised you to do so.”
I took off my gloves and dropped them on the workbench. I cupped his face. “I am not breaking up with you. We’re not back at square one. Okay?”
He frowned. “Really?”
I went up on my toes and kissed him. “Really. I’m sorry I didn’t make that clear.”
“I’m sorry I fucked up again. I should have told you that I knew where your father was. I was just trying to protect you.”
“I know.” I closed my eyes for a moment. My hands rested in his, just a small piece of us connected but it made me feel better already. “I know you had good intentions but you can’t make decisions for me like this. Not about my life or my family, it’s not okay. I get that this is who you are in business but in a relationship you don’t get to make unilateral choices. You have to tell me the truth, even if it hurts me.”
“I know. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
“Yeah it probably will. We’ll work on it though.” We both took a deep breath. The kind of breath you take after you narrowly avoid getting hit by a car. “Look at us, handling a crisis without all the craziness.”
“I've felt crazy the last few days.” He squeezed my hip, pulling me closer. I wrapped my arms around his neck, breathing him in. My chest ached with guilt, I hadn’t meant to make him worry so much. But it was over now.
“You’re really not angry about Sid?” I murmured, my face still buried in his shoulder.
“I didn’t say that. I’m just not going nuclear over it.”
I laughed a little. I supposed I should be grateful for that. Now, all I wanted was to take Alfie up to my room and make love to him all night, but there was still something I needed to come clean about.
“While you’re in your non-nuclear mood, I need to tell you something.”
He drew back. His gaze was softer now, calm. “What is it?”
“Julia Whitmore.”
“Ah. I was wondering when you were going to come clean about that.” He chuckled at the surprise plastered on my face. “You aren’t very good at hiding things, my love. You were overly worried about seeing her at the club and had too many questions about club rules. I don’t know the details but I’m presuming that she’s overstepped?”
“That’s an understatement. She’s been taunting me about seeing me at the club. I shut it down today but I thought you should know.”
“I should have known the first time she did it. It’s my business, Lo.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” I didn’t bother trying to make up an excuse. I had none to give.
“I’ll have her membership revoked. Are you still comfortable working with her?”
I paused, thinking about it. If I never had to see her again I’d be very happy but I didn’t want her to lose her job. “I guess it depends on if she tries to sleep with me again or not.”
“What?” He narrowed his eyes. “You said she was just taunting you.”
“She was. Making jibes about seeing me at the club and that stupid Muffin girl who apparently didn’t think much of me.” I rolled my eyes. “But today she made her intentions clearer. Though she did back off when I told her we were serious. I think she thought I was just…” I trailed off, not wanting to say what she thought I was.
“She thought you were one of my many. That’s my fault. Still, even if that’s all you were, she should have approached me first if she wanted to spend time with you. That’s how it’s done.”
I stared at him. Sometimes Alfie said things that were so out of my world it was hard to wrap my mind around them. Theidea that he’d shared women – or playthings, or submissives, or whatever he called them – so casually, made my stomach turn.
“Removing her from the club is my call but her presence in your work life is yours. Tell me what you want me to do.”
I couldn’t help but smile. He really had changed. It was hard to reconcile this compromising man with the control freak I’d first met.
“I don’t want her fired, it could put the show at risk and that’s not fair to everyone else, or me.”
