“Perhaps I should have told you.”
“Perhaps?”
“Lola, don’t raise your voice to me.”
“Don’t lie to me!” I yelled, raising my damn voice as loud as I wanted. “You’ve kept my father from me for years!”
“He kept himself from you,” he snapped back.
“But I could have known where he was! I could have known he wasn’t dead! I could have had answers instead of just the endless questions I’ve had for twenty three years!” My chest heaved with grief of betrayal.
“You’re right. I made a decision that I thought was in your best interest. I misjudged. I apologise.” It was a typical Alfie apology. Logical, business-like.
“You’re supposed to be my safest place. How can you be that when you hide so much from me?”
“No more. I promise.”
I let out another laugh without a trace of humour in it. “I believe that promise less and less every time I hear it.”
“Lola—”
“Get out,” I cut him off. My hand raised as if I had the power to block the world from hurting me anymore. Alfie didn’t move. “Just go away, Alfie. Please.”
His jaw ticked. His grey eyes pierced me in the dark. Once he would have twisted me, manipulated my mind into agreeing with his lies and even thanking him for them. So dangerous were his words but not anymore. This Alfie was learning how to walk the path of a good man.
“Alright. I’ll leave you for now. But I’m not going far.”
Fourteen
Ididn’t go back to sleep after Alfie left. I couldn’t. I didn’t know where he’d gone but I was sure he’d keep his promise of not going far.
I sat in the window seat watching the sun rise over the trees that hid our Evergarden. I wasn’t naive enough anymore to ask myself how Alfie could do this. Of course Alfie could do this, he’d already done so much worse. The only thing I could say in his favour was that this time he truly did have my best interest at heart. That didn’t make the pill any less bitter to swallow though.
My mind swung between Alfie and my father, my heart getting more bruised on each swing. The back and forth continued until finally the sun was up and it was time to start my day.
I felt like I’d aged decades in the last twenty four hours and one look in the mirror told me how awful I looked, but at least the day would bring distraction.
I left my phone switched off and threw myself into work. The heat of the summer day warmed me. It comforted me that no matter what I was dealing with, just stepping into a garden and working with my hands could always make me feel a little better.
The events of last night played over in my mind. John O’Connell, my father, had returned after twenty two years. The image of him stayed with me. I had his eyes, his hair. I couldn’t help but wonder what else was the same? How were we different? Was he stubborn like me?
He’d hinted at some alcohol-related issues but I hadn’t asked questions. I wished I had but at the same time, I didn't want to know. I didn’t want to deal with any of this. Maybe it was weak of me to think that way but for today at least, I would allow myself some weakness.
Sid, usually rambunctious and playful, was quiet today, giving me space. I guessed the dark circles around my eyes and my swollen nose told him something was wrong. He probably thought the beautiful billionaire had finally dumped my broke ass. I snorted at the thought. That would be the day.
Thursday drew to a close and I sent Sid home but I kept working. I wasn’t ready to sit still with my thoughts yet. I was elbow deep in hydrangeas, fighting an awkward bend in the wire frame with my trusty pliers. I kicked myself for not spotting the problem with the frame before I’d attached the flowers to it. I adjusted the frame, forcing the wire into a better shape. I stepped back to look, then adjusted it again.
“Lola?” Maia’s voice jolted me out of my focus on the task. “You have a visitor.”
My sister stood behind her, a quivering smile on her pretty face. I thanked Maia and she left us alone, disappearing on silent footsteps just like Elliot.
“I’m sorry for just showing up. I tried calling you a few times.”
“My phone’s switched off.” I dropped my pliers onto the work bench casually, as if my palms hadn’t just started sweating. “What do you think?” I gestured at my masterpiece in the making.
“Looks great. It’s a dog?”
“An elephant.” I gave my apparently dog-like elephant a dubious look. Was it really that bad?
