“You're nervous for today. I can feel it.”
I smiled. This was my Alfie. He rarely asked how I was feeling, he observed and then he stated it, often telling me how I felt before I knew it myself. Today I was going to Harrington. It was the calm before the storm. The storm being tomorrow when my work would officially start.
“Do you have everything you need? Is there anything I can do?”
“Hmmm,” I pretended to think about it. “Relax me?”
“I didn't relax you enough last night?”
“I'm sorry, I didn't realise I'd worn you out. Well, I suppose you are getting up there in years…maybe I should have found myself a younger man.”
His face broke out into a wicked smile, showing me perfectly straight teeth. “Oh Lola, you are in so much trouble.” He lifted my dress, revealing my thighs.
“Don’t rip my dress.”
He chuckled in response and flipped me onto my front. He moved over me. One leg between mine, the other next to me, a firm hand on my back held me down. He spanked me. Hard. I yelped. He delivered another blow, then another, slow and methodical. Then he leaned over me, breathing in my ear.
“Is this relaxing, baby?”
“Not exactly,” I muttered through gritted teeth. He spanked me again, then again. “Okay, I’m sorry!”
“I know.” His hand snaked between my legs and with his middle finger he began to stroke in small circles, applying only the slightest pressure. I moved my hips, moaning as he teased me. I waited for his fingers to dive inside me but then he paused as if he was considering something and all of a sudden he was gone.
I rolled over, breathless on the floor. I watched in bemusement as he walked into the bathroom.
“That’s it?” I called after him but he didn’t answer. On shaky legs I followed him into the bathroom. He was already in the shower, washing the sauna from his skin.
“I want to take you to the club this weekend,” he said, pretending like he hadn’t just left me dripping wet with a sore bottom.
“What? Why?”
“For fun. There are things that I want to explore with you. Things that you weren’t ready for before but now I think you'd enjoy them.”
My stomach did a little flip. “Like what?”
“Like a continuation of what Kal started with you months ago.” His tone was a little stiff, that obviously wasn’t a memory he enjoyed bringing up. I'd ended up with Kal after finding out that Alfie had been filming me for the last two years. He’d taken me in, calmed me down and then he’d tied me up. And I’d liked it. I didn't like that it was him, but I’d liked it all the same.
Alfie peered at me through the glass. “I don't like that. I don't like you blushing when you're thinking about what another man has done to you.”
“You brought it up!”
Alfie switched off the shower and shook his head, droplets hitting the glass wall separating us. I watched, salivating, as he tied a fresh towel around his waist.
He pulled me to him, hands running over my sore backside. “I want to explore you more, I want you to explore yourself more with me.”
“And what about you? Will I get to explore you?” He knew what I meant. In all the time we’d known each other, he’d never once let me pleasure him. Ever. Since we got back together, he let me take the reins sometimes, but he never let me go down on him. It wouldn’t bother me so much if I didn’t know that his reason for refusing was that he didn't feel ready for me to love him in that way yet. “I don’t want any more walls between us.”
“I know. Soon. I’ll do it in my own way.”
“Okay.” I squeezed his hand, not really sure what he meant but trusting him anyway. “Will you be taking me to the Onyx rooms?” I'd only been down there once and it wasn't an experience I was eager to repeat. I’d found Damien down theredoing shocking things to a woman who seemed to be enjoying it very much.
“Maybe. If I decide you’re ready.” Ifhedecided? I arched an eyebrow but he didn’t amend his words. He meant it. He would take me if and when he decided and not a moment before.
“I don’t want to be a fetish, Alfie.”
He burst out laughing. My favourite sound in the world, it was so rare and almost exclusive only to me. “This isn’t about fetishes or kinks. It’s about sensation, intimacy, control, patience. Most of all it’s about trust.”
I stared at him, finally getting it. My Alfie’s brain had been busy. Trust was something we’d mentioned last night, how what he’d done still haunted me sometimes.
