“What do you think I’ve been doing here?” I said, refusing to look back at him. “We need amorite. It is the easiest form of protection. Every piercing, every necklace, is one less terrestrial we need to worry about ripping us to shreds while we sleep.”
“There isn’t enough. Not for every male in Annwyn. We must prepare for a fight. Summon the armies. We should be using the amorite to forge weapons.” His voice was full of command.
“How typically terrestrial of you, to choose the violent approach.”
“Do not pretend that you are above violence.”
I closed my eyes. Forced myself to feel the weight of the blades strapped across my back, the daggers hanging at my waist.
“I crave it,” I said truthfully. “But it was you who taught me the importance of strategy.”
“Then listen. Learn.”
The superiority in his voice had me spinning on my heel. “You may be three hundred years old. But until a few daysago, you were in an enchanted sleep. Nuance is not a terrestrial strength, even when you’re not incapacitated.”
It almost felt normal. Like we might have been sitting at the Round Table, sparring until we came to an agreement. But Parys was not here to offer a clever quip. Cyara had not been listening carefully, waiting to share her insight. I even missed Gwen’s brutal but efficient way of cutting through the bullshit.
Arran’s black eyes were unreadable. The commander’s mask, firmly back in place. I knew that expression well. He might believe me, but he did not trust me. He also did not understand all the intricacies at play, not yet. If he did not trust me, then I had to make the best decisions I could without him. I still had Lyrena and Cyara.
I extended a hand, even knowing that touching him would be torture. “Let’s go back.”
He did not reach for me. “Why was I in an enchanted sleep?”
I blinked. No.No, no, no, no, no.
“You are the only one who can tell me.”
My throat was closing, but somehow I managed to get words out. “Lyrena and Cyara were there as well. And Isolde.”
His eyes flickered with recognition, then shuttered again. “The faerie refused to tell me anything useful.”
“Isolde is a loyal friend.”
“Tell me the truth, Veyka.”
My name on his lips was my undoing. I could not hold back the dam, the flood of words, my confession breaking in an uncontrolled wave.
“We went to Avalon to learn about the Void Prophecy. We were lured into a trap and attacked by an enemy from my past.” I did not go into detail about Gorlois or who he’d been in the twisted story of my past. I could not give him those parts of me again, not now, not like this. “I killed him. And in the process, I nearly killed you.”
“Y… you…” I had never seen Arran stumble over his words. Not once. Not ever.
“Me,” I whispered, watching his face crumble. Watching any chance I might have had of winning back his love disappearing as I spoke. “I was the one who stabbed you in the chest with Excalibur. I am the reason you nearly died.”
45
VEYKA
Arran shifted into his beast form and sprinted off without another word to me. Maybe I should have gone after him, but the message he sent was clear. He did not want me.
I sank into the void, letting it wrap around me and offer the comfort that my mate no longer could. I landed in my bedroom far too soon. A moment. That was all it took to move through the void. What would it feel like to linger there? There were other planes of existence, other realms beyond the human, succubus, and Annwyn. What if I went to one of those? Would the pain of my shattered heart still exist?
But my feet landed on the thick scarlet and gold carpet that failed to warm the stone chamber. I missed the warmth of the goldstone walls of Baylaur. Once, they’d been my cage. Now, I wanted to curl up against them like a cat.
The bed called to me. It, at least, was warm. Each night, Cyara heated bricks with her fire, layering the stones beneath the foot of the mattress. The thick velvet draperies and heavy quilts sealed in the heat. When I caught Cyara rubbing at her wrists, I’d ordered her to stop, insisting I would be warm enough. But the next night, the bricks were in place as usual.
When my feet moved, it was not toward the comforting softness of the bed. That was the escape I’d taken once. I missed it. My world had been simpler when my only concern was revenge.
The door to the chamber opened, Lyrena sweeping in with a laugh on her lips.
