Get it over and done with and start the next part of your life.
I can’t do it.
Not alone.
The whole point of taking the test was to spare Darrel the anguish of seeing another failure.
Winnie…I can call Winnie. She’ll support but won’t let me hide from the answer.
She picks up on the first ring. “Hey, G. What’s up?”
“I’m crying on the bathroom floor.”
“He hit you. I knew that creep was going to hit you eventually. I’ll be there in twenty. Your building has a helicopter landing pad, right? If it doesn’t, it’s about to.”
What? “No, Darrel didn’t hit me.”
“Then why are you crying?”
“I took a test.”
“Oh, G. You knew it would be negative. That’s why I went in for testing to be your surrogate.”
We all know. “I’m too afraid to look at it. This is the last one I’ll ever take.”
“G.”
“Why can’t I accept that it’s over?”
“Because we naturally reject change. And this will be a big one. You’ve been fighting so hard for so long.”
“I just really wanted to give Darrel his baby.” My hands shake even though the floors are heated.
Winnie takes a deep breath. “I’m going to let that one go for right now because of how stressed you are. How long have you been sitting there?”
Too long. I glance down at my phone. “Thirty minutes.”
“Oh, G. Do you want me to come there and sit with you?”
Yes. “No. I want you to help me get up the strength to look.”
Winnie laughs. “You’re the strongest woman I know. All you need is someone to be there to support you. So either way, I’m there for you. Go ahead and look. Are you doing diapers in nine months? Or are you going with me to OB. appointments?”
How did she know what to say? I pick up the test.
No. It slips from my fingers, clattering on the floor.
“G, are you okay?”
Words…I can’t. Instead, I aim the camera at the fallen test.
“Whoa.”
Exactly.
“Maybe it’s wrong. You should take another one.”
Another one…There are six sitting on my counter. One by one, I lift them up to the phone and drop them all on the floor.
